Dragonborne
by FearaNightmare
Summary: My life began as it ended. I was ready to accept death; yet some god brings me into another world. He wants me to show him what living and death means to us mortals. So if I must live again, I will fight, I will win. This is not a game. War is coming; I must be ready. I will change this world and save those I judge should be saved. I don't want to die again.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N,**_

 **Welcome to the first of the Dragonborne series- Dragonborne. I hope you enjoy this as I actually enjoyed writing this. Luckily for you all I will be writing a few chapters before posting anything. So by the time you read this I most likely will already have wrote five or so chapters. This will help both me and you, so if I get sick or am not in the mood I can post a chapter or two and not have to worry about writing. Also if I get ten more follows/favorites, or reviews that may make me update an extra chapter as reward.**

 **On another note- my friend has got me into another series… dun dun duuun. Lord of the rings. Now I** **know** **I will be making a LOTR fan-fiction but I don't know** **when** **. I have already been neglecting my other story and I don't want to completely drop it.**

 **Not beta'd**

 **I don't own any of the Dragon age games or plots. (Only my OC's and plot changes)**

Days have passed and they were long and painful. It would be a lie to say that they passed in a blur. They did not. They were clearer than crystal and sharper than any knife. Every one of us should have known it would happen. We didn't think it would. We lived our lives normally not caring in the least. The truth is that people were dying around us. Some were natural, in their sleep, heart attack, or some other organ failure. Other deaths were not. They were drawing closer to us, so close in fact one day it was our turn.

Remembering hurts, but that is also what kept me sane in the long run. My memories of darkness, my memories of soft pain and loneliness. I was alone- always alone. It didn't matter to me though. I was strong and every time I fell down I could get back up. This time I wasn't falling. I was shoved and tied to the ground. I was an animal waiting to be slaughtered. Even those animals had food and were not treated more harshly than needed. They were going to die anyways. Why be _even_ crueler to them?

We are not fed or even spoken to. When we were, they are insults spat in our faces, raw in such hatred it was felt in the air. Our capturers were fierce and always had masks covering their faces. They were odd and twisted, animal clay masks with features painted on with pale colors. Not realistic but it brought us terror whenever we saw them.

Sitting in a gray ten by ten room, most people were huddled together. It gave them some sense of security. I, however, sat with my legs curled to my chest alone, my back against one of the corners of the room. I was sweating heavily and my body ached all over. My now sickly pale skin was covered in burn marks. Some had writing, writing I never bothered to read. It was itchy and leathery, not yet healed. It peeled and felt tight and stretched. My mouth stung and tingled. I let my tongue wander over to where my left molar used to be. Now there is only a hole, bloody and swollen.

My head slowly lowered to my knees and I closed my eyes. Sleep rarely came and, when it did, I fell in and out of it. I was being tortured both in reality and my dreams. I no longer felt that gut wrenching terror. It was more of a heavy sense of dread and more the fear of _how_ I will die rather than the death itself. I have come to terms with it (I have not accepted it). I will die and there is nothing I can do about it. I almost thought I may die of starvation and dehydration then the masked people killing me. Truly I can't remember when I last ate or drank. My memories of this place are so twisted in torment and pain. I…I don't want to go down that road.

My gaze flashed up slowly as the foreboding creak of the door echoed around the room. Everyone froze stiff. They just sat still as a statue not wanting it to be their turn. I just wanted it to be over. Waiting for death drained everything from me. Slowly a person walked in, head held high and black combat boots almost deafeningly loud as he walked across the tile floor. The person calmly surveyed the room. The mask was blank except for the small slits where the eyes were. By the way they held themselves, I assumed they were male.

It felt as if a bucket of ice water was thrown on me, his eyes fell on me and stayed. I didn't let my harsh silver eyes waver. I kept them trained on that single man. With his hands behind his back the man leisurely made his way over. Not moving from my position, I kept my eyes trained on his every move. I could feel the hairs on my arm and neck rise. Stopping a few feet in front of me, he crouched down and grabbed my chin. I swallowed sharply and held myself back from twisting away from him.

From this distance, I could see soft blue eyes behind the mask. They held no emotion, yet weren't harsh. My lips pressed firmer together. I felt my stomach lurch. The blue eyed man stood up swiftly and spoke in a harsh tone. "Grab her."

It didn't take long and my arms were held in a bruising grip as I was dragged up and out the door. My head started to spin at the movement and my whole body protested. I heard the door close behind me and I blinked rapidly as the hall was dark, almost pitch black or perhaps my vision is starting to go.

The muscles in my shoulder started to burn from the strain of being pulled and my weight dragging me down. Dragged down this hall, everything started to clear in my head and one thought started to surface loudly, _I am going to die._

It felt as if hours passed before I found myself in another room, a few other girls my age were all lined up on their knees. I was pushed roughly to the ground on my knees along with them. I was at the end of the line on my side. I let my eyes look to the side briefly and saw a fierce looking red headed girl with an even more severe glare. My vision was obscured soon though as something was put over my head. A black cloth of some sort.

Soon an elegant yet cold voice spoke up. "Now you filthy people will learn that either you bow or die. I tried to give your President a chance, he declined and now you pay." He started. I could tell he is one of those boisterous villains who are flamboyant.

"I am a gentleman though and will allow you all to say a few words before death." He finished in an uppity way. I heard crying and soft sobs soon after. I didn't really know what was going on. I could feel my body trembling and my knees felt like needles were in them.

I jumped as a voice right next to mine spoke. "You and your army can shove it!" It was most likely the girl directly next to me who spoke. She seemed the sort. I heard a thud and something fell into my side. It was a body. I could only guess the girl was hit.

"Hmm, foolish girl. Then how about you?" His voice became sickly sweet and I felt something touch my cheek area. Instantly I felt as if I was choking, the fear hit me like a ten ton brick and curled in my body making it impossible to think. As quickly as it came it left and I felt… safe and calm. Taking a breath, I thought over if I wanted to speak. Finally I felt myself smirk at a memory and spoke in a mysterious and condescending tone. I was surprised as my voice flowed out, no cracks or stutters. "Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance."

In that moment the room became deathly quiet. It was broke as the body next to mine shook and then cackles started to echo around the room. Her voice came next breathless and amusement shining through. "You're quoting Dragon Age at a time like this!?"

I heard a snarl and soon felt a hand gently grab mine. I heard the man yell orders but I ignored it. I could feel something soft flutter in my chest as the girl gripped my hand tighter and started to murmur. "We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment... and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap."

I heard low clicks, I knew this sound intimately now. I closed my eyes and gripped the hand back just as tightly before speaking louder and together to finish it. It felt as if we were saying a prayer, or jumping of a cliff. I smiled at the irony and let the words flow out. **"It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can** _ **fly.**_ **"**

The loud boom resounded and an intense pain flew through my head and traveled down my spine and back up. My body locked up and I could not breathe. Everything felt stiff. Soon enough it all stopped. Blackness swept over and it was done. Sixteen year old Jolie Myron is dead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello lovelies, chapter 2 of my new story. Lucky for you all I actually wrote down the plot I want for this in a note book. From DAO, DA2, and DAI- that along with** _ **all the**_ **Dragon age stories (That can be used seeing as some are wrote to be when Alistair's father was younger). Now I will start off saying** _ **THERE WILL BE SPOILERS**_. **From not only all the games but the movies and the info guides "Dragon Age The world of Thedas Vol. 1 and 2." So please do not argue with me about anything you find** _ **wrong**_ **. Also I will be making stuff up because realistically people cannot die, get reborn, and retain their memories** _ **and**_ **be born into a different world, so obviously shit will be** _ **unrealistic**_ **.**

 **I do not own Dragon Age Origins**

 **Un-beta'd (As last time I tried to ask someone they did not freaking reply after two months)**

There was no sound. At the same time it was not silent. My body felt light and there was no pain, hunger, or discomfort. Letting a breath, out I opened my eyes and found myself in different surroundings. The area around me was dark, not exactly black. In the air I could see soft white lights. They floated around bobbing up and down. The lights would brighten briefly then fade. Far off I saw a rainbow. It was painted with colors and twisted elegantly. The air was cool and soft. It felt good against my skin.

I was sitting on the inky black ground. I brought my hands up to my face and saw no burn marks. I saw the few tiny scars littering my hands, from climbing trees and running in the woods when I was younger. Showing a small smile and looking up, I let out a soft breath. I could see it in the air. Almost like the temperature was freezing, my breath curled in smoky puffs before dissipating.

I could feel something leave my body. A heavy blackness that settled on my heart was lifting. I felt a calm of sorts. I took a deep breath and held it before letting it out.

A soft chuckle escaped me before it became full blown laughter. I could still hear that soft sound, like it was in the back of my head. It didn't take long for me to figure out it was actually in my head. It sounded like a music box. It was haunting and sweet at the same time and I could feel melancholy. Abruptly stopping my laughter, I felt the air change. Snapping my mouth, shut I closed my eyes.

I could feel someone near. Their presence was strong and overpowering. It was odd. I felt as if I could literally feel them touching me. Not wanting to deal with anyone I kept my eyes closed. That childish notion of not seeing them and that means they aren't there. The music in my head began to twist and change. The melody was no longer sweet. It was more of a mature sound. It felt wrong but so right in this person's presence.

"Still the minds of mortals baffle me, though this is closer to something I may make." A soft male voice spoke up. He had an odd twang. It curled like those people who were in the medieval era. I could feel my skin crawl and a shiver go down my body. It wasn't bad though. He wasn't bad…he just felt _wrong_.

Turning with my eyes open, I looked up at him and saw a tall and lithe figure cloaked in black. He was pale and had stunning gold eyes. I could not miss the slightly pointed ears and silky black hair. I blinked at him and frowned. He looked familiar. It didn't matter though. I don't want to leave this place.

"Most who have passed on have family and a bright looking meadow…this is an unexpectedly good change I suppose." He continued glancing around. He held himself in a way that irked me, like he is better but not actually trying to be.

"Not everyone is the same _obviously_. The world would be pretty boring if everyone was… and probably peaceful too." I mumbled the last part to myself. "Any way what are you? The reaper? My judge?" I forced out my voice.

The man paused before looking at me and I swear my breath was punched out of me. "I am not that easily defined nor that dramatic. It is best for you just think of me as a friend of the dead for now." He showed an odd smile and slowly walked over to me. His steps are sure and elegant. I swear he is barefoot under that large cloak. As he came closer, I could feel something twist in my gut. I couldn't pin point it.

After he was a foot or two away, he slowly lowered himself. Kneeling with his knees folded under him, the man turned his golden eyes to the colorful light out in the horizon. He stays silent for a few moments. I studied him quietly. Curious, he felt real enough but also he felt as if all of him wasn't here. He seemed genuine enough but also I could feel coldness like the guard who took me. He wasn't bad per-say but he would do whatever needs to be done no matter the cost.

"Why are you here?" I finally questioned, I didn't really like him. I had this feeling like a pin constantly poking the back of my head with him around.

I heard him let out a low hum and then a soft chuckle. "Curiosity in part. I can feel how you drape yourself in sorrow yet not. You're not sad, you're content in _this_ world." He starts. I stop myself from snapping at him, I take a breath. I am not the religious sort but what I follow is what is allowing me to stay calm.

"I have yet to find what I live for. I am dead. It is simple. I will come alive some time, the person I was will be gone and my journey of the living will begin again. It will happen over and over until I find peace, Nirvana, acceptance, whatever you want to call it." I inform the other hotly.

Closing my eyes, I shake my head at myself. "I am content, not happy or sad. There is nothing I can do." My voice comes out self-depicting.

I barely stop myself from jumping as laughter echoes around me. I turn to look at the raven haired male. I could feel my temper rise but my outrage dies in my throat as the man doesn't seem to be making fun of me. Smoldering gold eyes find my smooth silver ones. "Ah, alas that is not true young one. I also seek something. However I am in a place where I cannot reach out to others. The ones I can are dead. That helps me none as I wish to learn more of the living."

I blanched at him. "Then why are you talking to me?"

An almost mischievous look comes across his face. "You, Jolie Myron, you are in a place you should not be. You are very close to the Void, just a hairs breath away. You are very lucky mortal that _I_ found you and not Andruil."

I froze and stared at the other male with incredulity. I am positive my brain stuttered and broke for a moment or two. "Andruil?" I questioned "As in the Goddess?" My voice was hoarse. I could feel my eyes widening. "She hunts both mortals and animals…"

"It seems that not all the knowledge of us was lost." He states.

I felt a click in my head and turn to look at the man. No, the elf god. "Then that makes you…Falon'Din." With that my brain stopped. "Nope…I've gone insane!" I state and quickly turn away from the other.

"I have played _way_ too much Dragon Age and now I am making apparitions appear for my own amusement. Yes! That is what is happening!" My words came out mashing into each other. I spoke quickly and wobbly with worry lacing my voice along with hysteria.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and saw Falon'Din. His face was blank not really helping. I quickly ripped my body away from him. "Don't _touch_ me!" I snarled. "You killed for **pride**!"

Soon I found myself on my back with the other hovering over me. The cloak has now become wispy black smoke that unfurled around us and grew. The golden eyes were sharp and hard. His warm hands that held my arms down burned painfully.

His presence now threatened to crush me. I could hardly breathe and felt as if I was falling into water, deeper, and _suffocating_. The only thing I could feel was him, everything else was disappearing. He spoke his voice commanding yet soft. "I know what I have done. I know it is wrong. I however cannot find the means to regret it. I don't know enough of the living to see their fear of death." I could feel his breath fan across my face. It was cold.

"I need to understand, I need to help them. Not just Elvhen but all mortals. I am as my name implies _A Friend of the Dead_. That does not just apply to Elves. I have done much wrong when I was scurrying around the beyond. I want to help now. Let me learn." His voice and eyes became more genuine and desperate.

Letting a harsh laugh out, I bare my teeth and speak with a sharp voice. "Pray tell what can _I_ to do about your problems?"

He had no reaction. His eyes stared intently into mine. I felt my stomach drop for some reason. Taking a deep breath, the male pushed away and sat on his haunches. "I wish to live as a mortal… of sorts."

Carefully sitting up, I stared at the other with guarded eyes. "…And? I still don't see how that involves me…" I start before my body tenses.

"Just as you spoke before, you will be reborn again. I wish to ride with you on this journey. I also would like for you to retain your memories so I may understand everything better." Falon'Din explained with a thoughtful voice.

" **You want to what?!** " I yell out well swiftly pushing myself up into a sitting position. In all honesty I couldn't tell if I yelled in rage or surprise. I had a feeling that I would not be reincarnated in to the world I have lived through.

The male does not answer knowing my outburst is not a true question. I stand up and glare down at the other. "No, I am not going there. I can't."

"Why is that? Your fear of the tribulations you will face in _that_ world." Falon'Din exclaimed icily. His golden eyes pierced through me, yet I did not falter.

"Yes, I have already gone through pain! Why should I have to go through even more!?" My voice growled out and the very ground trembled. I stalked closer to the male. "You do not know the sorrow _we mortals_ go through. We cry, laugh, mourn, and worry. Our lives consist of emotion. They rule us or doom us! Don't act like you know anything that we go through. You all sit on your pretty thrones and watch us all break our backs and hearts just to live."

Looking at his eyes, I could see pain. I don't know the reason for it. Rising again, the elf god let out a breath and spoke in a pained voice. "I understand loss very intimately. I lost everything. I am now to live forever in the void. Slowly the mortals forget us, our ways and purpose. I am old too and I am already forgetting compassion and empathy." His voice came out broken.

"Lucky you, I don't think you had any to begin with. If you did you would have cried in both sadness and happiness each time you took a new soul over to the beyond." My voice held an edge that cut deep. Falon'Din glared at me but it really had no bite.

"That may be true. Let me tell you though, that only means I have the will to learn of it." Gold eyes twinkled at me.

Scowling fiercely, my eyes flickered to look completely at his features and emotions. I could tell easily enough I will have no choice with the _request_. It has already been made and now I am a puppet for Falon'Din.

" **Stop** trying to convince me. Your mind is already made and I have little choice but to dance to your tune." Voice harsh, I slowly turned away.

Silence replied. My eyes glared down angrily at the ground. I could feel tears gathering and the uncomfortable feeling of my nose tingling with it. Soon enough the warm, salty liquid slowly trailed down my cheeks and chin. I was frustrated that I couldn't do a damn thing to stop him, I was getting even more frustrated that I was crying because of it like a child. Bringing my arm up, I swiped my nose while shaking my head.

I felt a soft yet firm hand on my shoulder. Turning my head, I looked over and saw gold eyes looking intently at me. My lips pulled back slightly as I scowled at him. "Abelas Da'len" He whispered his eyes showing he was genuine.

"Don't…" I started weakly, swallowing I spoke again voice still shaking. "Don't say you're sorry."

He turned my body slowly towards his and held me. He was cold. It was not uncomfortable though. I felt myself blink when my head rested against his chest and I could hear the soft and steady beat of his heart. Sucking a breath in, I pulled away still in his grip and looked up.

Before I could speak, I felt a cool touch on my forward. He kissed my head softly. Warmth spread from the spot and curled around my body. In that instant, I began to feel drowsy. Blinking, it became more and more difficult to open my eyelids. My breathing was slowing and I could barely stand.

"Ven Theneras Da'len. Na shiral na Sulevin, ma lin na suledin. Halam, El enasal. Dareth len." I could hear Falon'Din murmur quietly while gently caressing my face. It echoed around as my vision swam and turned black. Soon I couldn't see or feel anything. The last of his words remained in my head.

 **I too hate having an unknown language you have to look up the definition for but that is just how it is.**

 **The sentence I have up there "Ven Theneras Da'len. Na shiral na Sulevin, ma lin na suledin. Halam, El enasal. Dareth len"**

 **It means/ translates to- " Go to sleep/dream little one. Your journey is certain, your blood is strong. Rest with our blessing. Be safe child."**


	3. Chapter 3

I hope you enjoy, I suppose these next few chapters could be considered filler as they are her childhood. Though on another hand that is when she begins to formulate plans and try and figure out what she wants to do. I guarantee this story will be completely different from most fan-fictions. Now enough of this- onward to the story.

 **No beta**

 **I do not own Dragon age or its plots, books, games ( I will only be saying this a few more times as it is more or less a moot point. We all know I don't own DA, no point in having to say it over and over just so Bioware or whoever can feel better… in my opinion)**

It is dark, cold, and itchy. I cannot see and it feels as if someone is sitting on my chest. Each breath is shaky and feels as if I am choking on smoke. It is painful and tight. I can't even tell if my eyes are open. Even my hearing is shot. Every sound is as if I am under water.

I shiver and try to move but I am beyond weak and can't even move my head. I take a wheezing breath in and just barely can hear something. I cannot even guess what it is. It sound unbearably loud and too close. Soon more noises begin to go off and it takes me a few minutes to guess that, 'Yes, they are voices.'

Soon I hear what I can guess as someone shushing another and then something rough touches my face. I don't know if it is my baby instinct or me being absolutely helpless but I begin to whimper and then scream. Quickly, I felt as if I was falling. Everything moved. Then soft humming began and the moving was slower and I felt safe.

Quieting myself, this was hard. My baby instincts were wailing consistently in my head about being hungry and cold. My thoughts were jumbled and when I tried to latch on to something, anything- so that I can feel _semi-normal._ It was ripped away, held just out of reach as if taunting me.

I could feel myself being shifted and handed over to someone. Their voice was deeper and their body felt more solid. I strained hard, so very hard just so I could catch one word. The voice spoke. It didn't seem to change, soften, or become severe. Finally it became less muddled.

"She's pretty small, isn't she?" I could feel the rumble of the voice. The person who is holding me was the one that spoke.

I heard some soft sound and then another voice spoke. It was a woman's. "It is a knife ear child. That is why."

"Kara?! She is a child regardless!" The person holding me scolded.

"Do you honestly think Bartrand will allow you to keep it Varric? It's a _child_ like you said. **Not** a puppy!" The female voice sneered. "You are also barely an adult yourself. Do you think you can take care of her?! Hm?"

The names echoed around my mind briefly and I tried to blink or open my eyes. I know those names, they are important. My eyes shot open as names, missions, and events flashed through my mind. 'Varric is going to the deep roads and propositioning Hawke to get money so they could go to the deep roads. Bartrand going crazy because of the red lyrium-' my brain promptly shut down.

A gasp resounded and someone exclaimed. "Her eyes..."

"Great! Not only do you want to take care of an elf child but she is blind as well. You talk to your brother about this. You can tell him why we are not finishing this mission and why you're carrying that back home." The woman growled out. Her voice became quieter as if she was walking away.

Silence followed and I blinked a few more times and I could faintly see a blob close to me. 'Hah crabby lady take that. Blind I am not!' I think.

Sighing, I was shifted and Varric spoke. "Don't mind her... She just has a stick up her ass after Bartrand grilled her for messing up the last mission. Ah... I should probably stop swearing..." He trailed off with a chuckle.

"She is not blind stone child. Look at her eyes. They continue to move around trying to take everything in." Another soft voice states. It held a slight accent I could not trace. This person who spoke was male. "It is most likely just a defect of some sort. You should try talking to one of your informants to get in touch with a Mage to see if it can be reversed or fixed."

"We could look for her family. Maybe she is one of the Dalish-"

"Doubtful."

"What?" Varric question and everything began moving. That probably meant they were walking.

"She was left in the woods alone. No tracks, blood, or signs of battle. She was abandoned." the other male informed his voice getting lower.

Abruptly motion stopped and there was an intake of breath. Varric finally spoke after a few moment of silence and growled one word. "Why?!"

The other male hummed before speaking slowly. "There could be many reasons. Clans differ. Mine was strict and many mistakes could get you exiled. She could have been abandoned because they thought she was blind and didn't want a weak link in the clan. She could have been abandoned because the mothers' lover died and the woman wandered in the woods to die and left her daughter. It's also a possibility this specific Clan believes in superstition and a child born with all white eyes like her could bring on evil. There are many _reasons_ Varric. So many that we can never say them all in a short conversation, but does it really matter why she was abandoned? She is alone now, you have her. What you do with her is your choice."

Varric started walking again and sighed. I could feel his chest take in a big breath. It stayed like that before it was let out quickly. This happened over the course of ten or so minutes. I can only guess he was trying to think of something to say but couldn't find the right words.

"Will you help me? I know nothing about elven health needs and I definitely know nothing about babies!" Varric spoke soft at first before it changed to joking but I could still pick out the slight concern.

A soft chuckle echoed around. "She is no different than a dwarf baby Varric."

"Do I look like I have a child Natal?" Varric's voice came out annoyed. "Wait, don't answer that."

"You seem to be getting along with that Bianca rather well... I could always just assume-"

"Stop right there! We talk business! Her family is one of the wealthy merchants that go around on the surface. They are well off and Bartrand told me to befriend her..." Even I could tell Varric is embarrassed.

"Yes I see. So I can assume when I saw you at the Hanged Man with her drinking ale it was all just 'business' too?" Natal' voice came out teasing.

"... She was just telling me about something she is building." The dwarf's voice came out petulant.

"Indeed?" Natal was definitely having fun. "I shall watch from a distance as you try to explain to both your brother and 'just friend' Bianca as to why you are holding a baby!" Natal's voice came out overly joyful.

"Wait what! No you will help me explain- huh?! Where the hell did you go!? Asshole!" Ok listening to Varric panic is actually rather entertaining. Not being able to move, talk, and having the mild ability to see is not.

The blonde started to mutter, seeing as my ears still felt as if something was stuffed in them. I couldn't hear what he was grumbling to himself. As we continued to move, the air felt and tasted stuffy and foul. It was exceedingly humid and I could hear chatting around us.

"Welcome to Kirkwall! Feast your eyes on the creepy slave statues and dirt. We have more where that came from." Varric notifies with strong sarcasm.

I could feel my annoyance inflating at my situation. Being helpless is something I **do not** find comfortable. I don't like relying on people and, right now, I can only rely on people. I can't do anything on my own…well except die.

At once a strong and putrid scent hit my nose and I about choked. I could feel that smell slithering down my throat and curdle my stomach. I could only guess alcohol, ale. We are most likely in the Hanged Man. Which I think is a rather foolish place to go when you are holding a baby.

"Ah-ha! Bartrand guess what I found-"

" **Varric are you an addled nug!?"** A voiced roared over all the other noise and it soon became silent.

I blinked rapidly as I am certain my ears popped at how loud that voice is. "My brother, it seems that you were already informed about what I found…" Varric continued slower.

"Yes I was. I was also informed of what you did not find! You completely disregarded my orders _and_ abandoned them for a knife ear child?!" I can only assume Bartrand was the one speaking. He continued to growl lowly in his throat as he spoke.

I could feel air brush against my face as Varric sighed. "She is a child brother. She is young, helpless, and was abandoned!"

"It's not my problem Varric."

"She is helpless and alone!" Varric snapped back. There was a long pause and Varric spoke again, more quiet but somehow his voice came out even colder. "I will make it my problem brother, I will care for her."

A short harsh laugh followed. "How are you going to do that _little brother_? You are only sixteen. You can barely take care of yourself without my help-"

"Fine! Leave me, I will figure out a way!"

I hear some noise and then my whole body is jarred. "You know I can't do the, Varric… Fine. Keep the blasted thing. You take care of it and do your damn job for once and I will _help_ but know this. When it gets older it better work for us. I will not help for free!" Bartrand's voice came out annoyed and resigned.

Someone hums and then, soon enough, we are moving. A soft click resounds and I can faintly hear Bartrand cussing at people to stop looking at him. I am jarred again and Varric sighs.

"Sorry, Bartrand is an ass through and through. I know though that when he is backing you, you will get what you need." He mutters lowly.

Another softer voice starts to speak and Varric tenses. "Talking to babies…I didn't take you for the sort. It's oddly charming Varric."

"Well I heard that when you talk to babies when they are younger they grow up smarter." His voice comes out cocky and sarcastic.

"Is that so…" The woman's voice sounds amused. A blob moved closer and I can see a young girl in her teens with auburn hair.

"Yes Bianca, now all I need to do is come up with a name… hmm. Any ideas?" He starts off strong though his voice becomes sheepish soon enough. The girl reaches forward and takes me from Varric and I, for some reason, feel affronted.

"She is tiny. I heard Bartrand… she is an elf child?" She questions. That is when a revelation hits me. This is Bianca… the Bianca that Varric holds a flame for. They don't end up together for some reason though.

"Yeah, her eyes are all white though. I am hoping my uh… ahem _connections_ can figure out the reason." I can hear a slight waver in Varric's voice.

Everything is quiet around and I feel my eyes closing. Fingers gently touch my face and Varric mutters. "Arinda Tethras… How does that sound? You can be part of the once Noble Tethras family." Chuckling at the end, Varric hums.

A long suffering sigh is heard and Bianca speaks in an exasperated voice. "That's a dwarf name!"

"Fits her right? Anyways, I am a dwarf. She will live to like one! Now that will be amusing." Varric sounds entertained.

I can feel my mind falling into the darkness known as sleep. The voices of Varric and Bianca's voice melt into one and only one thought finds itself in my head before I fall asleep _**'They said elf!? I am a freaking elf!?'**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey I am pretty much crying well I re-write this chapter. Yes re-write because I was a fool and saved the wrong dang file to the wrong dang chapter and the real chapter 4 got wiped. So… Luckily enough it wasn't all that long as it was more or less wrote like a journal in her heard.**

 **The first year of Arinda's life is going to be more or less boring and all around pointless to write. I am not going to make a super powerful, genius, amazing, super baby who can talk, walk, and shoot lasers out of her eyes. No she will be like any normal baby who can't talk or walk until they are at least one.**

 **Anyone looking for a good Dragon Age Self-insert read "Days of our Lives" by Lee Totema. She already finished her first story which goes through Origins and the second which is about Awakening.**

 **(Reviews on how to write better are always appreciated. Flames will be read and or ignored.)**

 **I don't own the Dragon Age series, books, or movies.**

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Living with Varric was both terrifying and amusing. It was an amusing experience because the male didn't know how to take care of babies. It was also terrifying because **he didn't know how to take care of babies**.

The fool thought it was a good idea to give a baby some ale when he didn't have any baby food handy. Both he and I paid for that mistake. I was busy puking my guts up and being afraid of all the other liquids coming out of my many orifices. Varric was busy being knocked on the head multiple times by Bianca and Natal.

In the same time frame Varric learned how to change my diaper (if you can even call it that.) That was a very dark time in my life I never want to repeat again. **Ever.** Surprisingly enough it only took two weeks for me to get a rash from Varric not cleaning my butt properly. So I had to get some weird ointment on my ass that tingled. Shortly after the rash was gone I got another one as the dwarf cleaned my butt too good and rubbed it raw. He got hit over the head again and I got more tingly ointment on my butt.

In truth despite Varric's all-around lack of knowledge he isn't such a bad guy. He gave me a pretty dagger to play with when he saw me staring. It was promptly confiscated by Bianca when she saw me with it. The blonde was hit over the head well I sulked.

Bianca did buy me a stuffed Nug toy soon after; which I started crying over when I saw the feet. Creepy is an understatement for those things feet. I didn't stop crying until Varric cut the feet off and sewed them up so they only had nubs for its front feet. Bianca was not happy when she visited me.

My vision finally cleared up where I could see everything with perfect clarity when I was around five months old. I remember this because this is when I fell in love. I saw Natal in all his glory, tall with smoldering inky black eyes. His hair a silky raven color which lay on his head messily but looked oh so right on him; to top it off with his tattoos and being an elf… he is perfect.

I am most certain everyone knew what happened. I turned into a squealing mess and did not shut up until he held me. The whole time the elf held me I was making doe eyes at him. When Varric said we had to go home I gave Natal a big slobbery kiss before Varric took me. Seeing as I still had next to no motor skills it was more of a dog kiss but… Eh.

The young dwarf looked aghast at Natal then I. Varric took off back to The Hanged Man at an amazing speed well Bianca laughed and the elf just looked confused. I was a giggling mess at home as Varric tried to explain to me why I could not like Natal. ' _How the elf was a bad bad man and too weird. He never listens and has too many tattoos and damn-it Natal is too old for me!_ '

I had my first night terrors when I was seven months old. I was remembering my time when I was getting tortured. The burning, breaking, crying and fear. Varric began to read to me before I slept and sometimes during. It helped a lot, he didn't get much sleep and he had bags under his eyes. When Bianca or Natal offered to take me for a few days he blatantly refused.

He said he couldn't abandon me just because he was a little tired. He didn't want to be like the people who left me in the woods to die. My night terrors stopped shortly after that. I did start dreaming of rainbow dragons who danced around a fire with halla that were made of gold though. Varric is lucky I can't talk and call him on his bullshit.

It's around the same time that I saw myself in a mirror for the first time. I looked like a normal baby other than the pointed ears and oh yeah… **all white eyes!** I have no iris or pupil, my whole eye is just a pearl white. That defies all logic with me being able to see. No I am not from the Hyuga clan!

Other than that I had a small tuff of plain brown hair on my head and lightly tanned skin. I was thinner; I think it is from me being an elf and not me being underfed. Varric fed me well and despite the first few bumps he has learned what I need.

I was rarely taken out of our room and never taken out of The Hanged Man. Bartrand never really dropped by. The few times he did he spoke to Varric about some of the guilds and merchants that came by and what went on. Apparently Varric wanted to stay in the loop. The older dwarf scowled whenever he looked at me and didn't even say hi.

When I was nine months old Varric bought a few small plants and put them around the room. He said something about me being a baby and that I needed fresh air. He grumbled about the elves in the Alienage's lecturing him too. The plants were pretty I suppose, I know nothing about flowers though. Give me a weed and I will think it is a flower and vice versa.

I was surprisingly happy with everything. Varric is a kind man… Dwarf. He takes care of me and more. Bianca visits often and brings many baby clothes. Natal also comes by with herbs and books about babies and what they need. Everything was more or less perfect, but just like a poem said- Everything gold can't stay.


	5. Chapter 5

**My beautiful viewers I thank you for continuing to read and I thank Lee Totema, Saterra3950, and Secluded Tune for following! This chapter is for you guys baby-boo! Also I have a request, later in this story my character will be conversing with demons and spirits alike and so I would appreciate people sending me riddles and the answers. Just PM me them please. I will thank you and mention you in the chapter.**

 **I don't own the Dragon Age series, books, or movies.**

 **Finally I have a beta too! Thank you Lee Totema.**

I sit upon Bartrand's desk as the dwarf sits at his desk and looks through papers. Gnawing viciously on a weird piece of wood I stare on. It is soaked in herbs. I am teething and the herbs were helping sooth the itchiness.

My eyes flick up to Bartrand again and he remains scowling as he switches from reading to scribbling furiously on another paper. Shaking my head, I set down the slobbery piece of wood and spoke up "Un… Un!" Not the most eloquent but it gets the job done.

A low growl answers me and the blonde dwarf glowers at me "What do you want?"

I raise my brows at him as we both know I can make awkward noises at best. His glower deepens and I try again "Vurk… wa Vurk?" I hope he can understand that weird question. I am trying to ask where Varric went.

All I know is that Varric came into the room when I was staring at the chair I wanted to climb and then all of a sudden I was lying on a desk with a very exasperated Bartrand. Varric left without so much as a word and I have been sitting in confusion and boredom for the past half hour.

It was silent for a few minutes and I honestly thought he was just going to ignore me. Surprisingly enough Bartrand set the quill down and eyed me intently for a while. Finally he opened his mouth and spoke slowly "As I told my brother once before, he could exclusively take care of you for a year. After the year is up he will have to take jobs again. We talked and he will be taking only three jobs per month and they can't last for more than three days each."

I stared pensively at the other well I thought about what he said. Varric will be gone for three days and I will have to be babysat by his brother. I have noticed Bianca has been visiting less and less in the past few months. Natal has always come and gone as he pleased. Varric has always been with me though. The only time I have been away is when he has to go to the bathroom or for the short few hours he wants to have some ale.

My attention was brought back to the dwarf as five shiny objects were brought in front of me. They were pretty much plain. It had a dog carved into it I think, gold in color and about the size of my fist. (I am a baby so it isn't actually that big.)

"These here are called sovereigns. I have five in front of you, I want you to grab two sovereigns" Bartrand states simply while staring expectantly at me, leaning back and folding his arms.

A bright red flag shot up in my head as the male waited. I blinked innocently and began thinking 'Is he trying to figure me out? He thinks he can use me if I am smart; I am also a baby though so he probably is hoping he can manipulate me.'

Slowly, ever so slowly, I begin to bring my hand up as to touch the shiny money. Bartrand's eyes twinkle before quickly showing frustration as I grab my slobbery chew toy instead and popping it back in my mouth while continuing to gape in childish curiosity at him.

Shaking his head, Bartrand grumbled hotly while grabbing the papers again, and continuing from where he stopped. Luckily as a one year old I can smile and cry or I would be smirking at how foolish the dwarf is. I felt bad but at the same time I didn't. I tend to manipulate people around me quite easily now that I can think properly and my baby instincts aren't so overpowering.

I can usually stop myself from crying when there is absolutely nothing wrong. If I get scared or am lonely, I start to get blubbery. Now I can keep it in. If I get hurt or have another rare night terror, my control is pretty much shoved into the back of my mind.

Glancing around the room once more, I sigh quietly as I know I will not be doing anything for quite a while. I feel my spine tingle and flick my eyes back over to Bartrand. Varric never left me along for an extended period of time. I am exceedingly nervous as to what Bartrand will do with me.

My body flinches as the door slams open and three people march in. I recognize Natal right away and a smile splits my face. My chew toy falls out of my mouth as I coo loudly and wave my arms at the elf.

In return, the raven haired male smirks and winks at me. Gliding over to me, the lithe elf picks me up in a swift motion "Hello beautiful, how are you?" Natal's voice came out soft and his eyes twinkled.

I let out one loud squeal that I could not keep in and then pat his face as if to say I am good. Letting out an amused chuckle he glances to Bartrand, his eyes hardening slightly "We have spoken to one of the merchant guilds in Starkhaven. They have agreed to trade with us however they refuse to give us any sort of discount. They are willing to pass along any _interesting_ information and news they hear."

My pale eyes peek over at the other two men. They are both human and both looked alike. Dark blonde hair and bright green eyes, they look rather normal other than the unnatural bright green eyes. Tilting my head I swivel my head back around when Bartrand harrumphed and started talking.

"That will do for now. You can leave. Now."

Natal turns and spoke again "I will be taking little Ari with me" He states without waiting for a response and walks out of the room.

I feel my eyes go wide. I never left the room without Varric. I am pretty sure Natal is going to take me outside. That is exhilarating and, for some reason, terrifying to me.

"Now my dear Ari you need to go outside more and see the world. Varric is way too overprotective. That's good but also will not help you in the long run." Natal spoke as he pushes open the door and I was blinded by smells, sound, and lighting.

In truth it overwhelmed me for a moment. The air was crisp and clean yet polluted with something odd. I could taste it and feel it in the air but could not place it. It was cleaner than anything I could remember. My memories of my past life are muted and dull.

I can hear people murmuring, yelling, and talking. They chatted and it merged into one loud annoying buzzing sound and I want it to stop! The sun felt so good though. It feels real and I can feel it touching my body and warming me. All in all, I was a bundle of mixed emotions. I am elated to feel something new, terrified at this new experience in this body, and annoyed that I have no control over anything.

Finally I notice that Natal is moving "I want to take you to the Alienage so you can meet other elf children. I know a woman there who has a son about your age. His name is Feynriel. He is a halfling though. He is kind so treat him well."

'You're making me go on a play date!? What the hell, I don't want to play with slobbery, booger infested vermin!' I vehemently begin to wiggle around in an attempt… an attempt to do _something_ damn it!

"Oh quit it! You will like him, who knows maybe you will fall in love" Natal jokes.

I freeze and felt absolutely affronted at this statement. 'No you fool I will marry you and have many little pointy eared babies!' I open my mouth and start to babble harshly at him. I try to tell him how rude and ignorant he was to even suggest that. At the end of my rant, I nod with determination and then stare expectantly at the elf.

He blinks in response, letting out a short snort he speaks again, "Sorry love but I can't understand you."

Blankly I stare at the male, 'you're supposed to pretend you fool!' I was thinking while shaking my head.

"Ah here we are!" Natal remarks and then raps gently on a door that is to the right of us as we descend the stairs. A short moment later a young elf woman steps out. Her light copper hair falls just short of her shoulders and her soft green eyes stare inquisitively at us. Dark red tattoos swirl on her forehead and chin.

It doesn't take long for her eyes to settle on me "Oh Natal is this she? The one you spoke of?"

I flick my eyes to the dark haired elf, "Yes Arianni, this is little Arinda Tethras." Natal steps forward in to the house as the other moves away slightly.

I blink and squint my eyes as this woman looks and sounds familiar. I feel an odd prodding in my head. Soon enough I feel as if I have swallowed a golf ball. This woman, elf woman is Arianni. She is Feynriel's mother, the half elf and human child that is a somniari who Hawke helps in Dragon Age two.

'You have got to be freaking kidding me!' I think angrily to myself.

"Feynriel, dear look, you have a guest over." Arianni spoke softly and gently picks up a small baby who looks a little younger than me. He has a few blonde wisps of hair and wide hazel eyes. My eyes widen along with his as we stare at each other.

My mind was on overdrive as all the possibilities I could exploit, I could help him learn about his power, teach him not to be afraid. I stared even more intently as both he and I were set gently down in a different room.

Ever so slowly I pulled myself forward and crawled over to the tiny boy. Plopping myself on the ground in front of him, I narrow my eyes as the other tilts his head slowly to the side. I can see drool dribble down his chin.

Bringing my small chubby hand forward, I poke his cheek. I don't know what I was expecting but he didn't do anything. I did it again and to my horror, my absolute horror, this little tiny baby boy starts to chew on my hand and finger. Gross warm saliva wraps around my hand and I am frozen in disbelief.

'Forget it! This little shit can figure it out himself!'


	6. Chapter 6

**I thank Creative Lunatic, Flaming Kiwi, danoc, chibielle, KrystylSky, and Zomvee for following me! You all are my inspiration and my motivation. I have wanted to write a lot more and quickly get chapters out thanks to all of your support. You should all know I am very grateful and humbled by people follow and favorite this! On to the story!**

 **Beta'd by Lee Totema!**

 **Disclaimer- I do not own Dragon age, books, games, movies, or any of Bioware's things. This is for both your entertainment and mine**

* * *

Six months have passed and I dread that I have come to care for Feynriel. That little turd still thinks it is a good idea to chew on me too. These past months Feynriel has grown before my eyes. His blonde hair has flared out fluffy and he is already pulling himself up.

Lucky for me I can walk so I can waddle away when he starts to annoy me. I can't go too fast though because I tend to fall down. It has taken me a while to figure out I can say words. I have to stop myself every once in a while to speak so I don't come off too smart. I remind myself to say basic words for only my needs. The only time I do try and work on my speech is when I am with Feynriel.

I like him but I refuse to be friends with an uncultured fool. I am hoping that with me talking he will learn a little faster. I like Arianni but she babies him and speaks in a high pitched voice all the time and that won't help him. I understand that he is her child and she wants to make his childhood as happy as possible- helping him get ready for the future will make everything less painful when he gets older.

At the very moment though I sat a few feet away from the small blonde boy as I slowly chewed my fried carrots I was given. The flavor was pretty much gone; it tastes like bark that sat in water for too long. It was squishy so I could chew it by myself without Varric having to smash it. I was not keen on sharing my bark tasting carrots, not even with Feynriel.

The blonde did not get the message from my glare of death however and still happily made his way over. A small childish part of my brain screeched in outrage, I am not sharing! The more mature part diplomatically argued how the carrots tasted like shit anyways. The childish part easily won "No! Get 'way! Away!" I huff out angrily. My voice came out annoyingly high and still sounded soft.

Feynriel smiled innocently at me and trudged on along closer. Puffing my cheeks out, I could feel my face going red with irritation and the familiar feeling of pressure in my eyes. I pushed the frustrated tears away. Taking a deep breath I set my bowl down and pointed at the male "Fey! No, mine. Ask Anni, dis mine. Anni!" I started off talking before shouting loudly for the elf woman.

Soon enough I heard faint footsteps, the copper haired elf appeared with an amused facial expression "Is there something wrong Arinda?" She questions me well glancing at her son.

Nodding, I point to my small bowl of carrots and then motion to Feynriel in a dramatic wave "Fey want my carrots. No, mine! Ask you for him." I inform the other helpfully.

Chuckling softly the woman shakes her head and walks closer, "Why don't you share?"

"Mine! Taste bad bu' mine!" I crow out.

Sighing Arianna walks over and picks both Feynriel and I up. She turns well grabbing the bowl and walks into the small kitchen. Setting the bowl down she begins talking to both of us, "Natal and I want to take you both out to the forest for fresh air and to hopefully see some animals. What do you think?" Her voice twists with her accent.

"Amnals! Amnals!" Feynriel cries well clapping his pale chubby hands.

I tilt my head and speak ,"Nat and you take us?"

Arianni lets out a light giggle and nods, "Yes dear." Her steps were soft and light. I didn't feel any jerky movements from her like I do with Varric. Natal is just as smooth and graceful. It seems it is an elf thing.

A small smile spreads on my face as I see the dark haired elf leaning against the door way for us. I can feel a tingle in my stomach. We are handed off to him and Arianni tilts her heads, "Let me get my knives just in case."

Natal shrugs. "Whatever makes you feel comfortable, love. Bandits tend to stay on the roads rather than the forest." Clicking his tongue the elf hoists us up and rolls his head around a few times, I hear some light popping and a satisfied sigh.

"Amnals!" Feynriel demands with a cute pout. I, however, am not amused by this display.

"Patness is vitor!" I snap out, it did not sound how I want it to. I was trying to say 'patience is virtue' it turned out sounding like a mess.

The dark haired elf laughed uproariously, I could feel it vibrate through my body. "Very true my dear Ari. Patience is virtue."

I preened at the praise I received. Feeling the familiar warmth in my chest spread, I glanced over to Feynriel. "Be good!" I tell the other. I snuggle closer to Natal and stare happily at the deep inky black eyes.

The elf woman walks over to us and nods to Natal. "I am ready, let's be off."

With practiced ease, Natal opens the door even though he is holding two baby elves. The stench of dirt and people hit me. The smell is strong and unpleasant. I am used to it now and easily ignore it. Blinking my white eyes, I glance around and see many somber faces.

The elves in the Alienage usually look at the ground or are hunched over. There are few and far in-between of them who dare to look up or instigate a conversation. More do smile weakly or glance at Feynriel and I. The adults always try and shield the children of the Alienage from harm and corruption.

Quickly enough, Natal and Arianni are walking out of the Alienage and into the city. The city is more open and less dirty but still has the feeling of depression. The scent is no less strong or pungent too. People stare and glare harshly at us, whispers reach my ears. I keep my mouth shut though but feel a boiling rage fester.

"Damn knife ears."

"Walking around like they own the place, I mean look! No shame."

I flinch as one mentions me. "Look at da one with white eyes. Freaky little knife ear. It'll grow up ugly that one."

"Shut your mouth human or you will find yourself losing your precious little tongue soon enough." Natal snaps quickly enough. His voice is hard but his face is scarily serene.

The man who spoke goes white well grumbling and walking away. I look up at Natal briefly before looking away. He continues walking and I see Arianni take Feynriel. The male gently turns my face to look at him. "Don't listen to that twit. You are beautiful and you will grow up to be a goddess."

I can feel my face flush red and tears gather in my eyes. I can't help as some of them fall, I don't know why I am crying but I can't stop. For some reason what that stupid man said really did hurt me. It feels like a stab in the gut.

"Oh don't cry love. It tears my heart into pieces, seeing beautiful girls cry." Natal whispers gently while wiping my eyes with his fingers. I nod well letting out a choked sob. I could see Arianna looking at me with soft and caring eyes.

"Don't fret Ari, you are truly a wonderful girl." Her voice is soothing.

Soon enough, I see we are at the edge of the city and I can see the forest. The smell is already cleaner. It's crisp and smells of earth and grass. It truly is heavenly compared to the dank scent of the city.

My tears quickly dissipate and my spirits lift and I felt lighter. This is very exciting it almost felt as if we were doing something forbidden. My stomach's tingling amped up to butterflies having a dubstep party. Both Feynriel and I were in awe at everything around us, this is truthfully the first time both of us are seeing this (First in this life) it is beyond words.

Taking a deep breath I hold it before letting out a loud sigh. "Onward!" I demand happily while pointing in a random direction. Everyone laughs at my declaration. Natal and Arianni move forward, I can see as we go deeper into the forest their bodies relaxing more and their smiles begin to glow.

As we moved forward I could hear the crinkle of leaves and sway of the branches. The smell of soil and the sea assaulted me. This is truly blissful. I blinked and tilted my head as suddenly something felt wrong.

I curled in slightly and tensed, my eyes flickered around as my face twisted into a frown. I finally could figure out why I felt as if something was wrong. There is no forest sounds, no birds, or squirrels running around.

Opening my mouth I spoke up. "Wrong… not right" I can't explain because I don't have the words to explain my young mouth is too inexperienced to form the ones I would use.

Looking up I could see that Natal's eyes were narrowed and his body was loose yet his shoulders are tense. His dark eyes rove over the land slowly as he walks closer to Arianni. The other elf was tense, one arm holding Feynriel and the other hovering over her daggers.

"Well it seems we weren't as silent as we thought." A voice states.

Turning my head I saw a man emerge from the brush. His face is smiling but it doesn't look amused. Stopping a few feet from us, I could see in the shadows more people waiting.

Natal's hold on me tightens and I feel him change his stance. "Well if it isn't Marshal, I assume this has something to do with Bartrand?"

Scoffing the man crosses his arms with a sneer. "You guess correctly. That dwarf has missed a rather golden chance…"

"Bartrand is an ass I will admit that but he is no slave trader. He does have morale's no matter how loose they seem. He made it very clear he wants nothing to do with you." Natal says while raising a brow.

"Yes he did… It took me a while but I stumbled on some _interesting_ information regarding the Tethras brothers. It seems after Varric found a bouncing baby girl they both went soft- oh then I soon learn it is an elf child. Very interesting indeed. I thought to myself; oh this is a perfect time to get back at that bastard. No one declines me!" His voice began to rise in volume and get an edge.

Natal lets out a snort well shaking his head and shifting me over to his right side. "Someone must have been spoiled as a child."

Marshal's smile twists in anger and he reaches up and pulls a great sword from his back. His knuckles turn white from holding the handle so hard and he trembles as his face goes red. "You'll pay for that knife ear, you and your little whore!"

The man rushes forward not waiting for a reply.

I feel terror shoot through my body and tears are soon enough gathering. I can't follow what is going on as everything looks blurry, from my tears and how they move. Loud shouts echo around and metal grating against metal. I can faintly hear Feynriel screaming but I can't focus on it.

Soon enough a repulsive smell hits me and I freeze when something wet flies into my face and I taste something familiar. The taste of salt, the smell of iron and an odd sticky substance. I finally open my eyes and see blood everywhere. I can no longer hear or feel anything.

Bodies, opened with organs spilling out and bones showing. I can see some with their jaws slack as if screaming. Throats slit and some with limbs missing.

I suck in a breath and choke on it as I am trying to breathe and scream at the same time. Not again, I don't want to see this again. My hand trembles as I touch my face and pull it away and see bright vermillion liquid along with small chunks. I lose it.

My scream soon joins Feynriel's and it echoes around. It seems time finally catches up as I can hear again. Everything comes back and my body is tingling and I cannot breathe.

"No…it's ok. Arinda breath!" I faintly hear Natal over the fighting.

Closing my eyes, I try to breath but it keeps catching in my throat and I feel cold. I am moved quickly and a smaller arm is holding me. Opening my eyes I see Arianni crouched and her worried face; Natal standing with his fingers touching his forward.

He is frowning and mumbling. Soon enough, his eyes open and his hand shoots out and a force follows. I can feel it gently wave over me but I see the other men fly a few feet back. Groaning, some try and stand up but again Natal clenches his hand. I see his fist tremble before something amazing happens.

Sparks start running up and down his hand and arm. I can hear the zipping noise. Pointing his fist forward, the elf opens his hand in the same motion and the electricity shoot forward and envelopes the three men in front of him. They scream spasm and fall. The lightning shoots off to some of the other men close to them that are wearing a lot of metal and they have the same fate.

I find I can breathe again but regret it as I gag at the new smell of cooked flesh. Slowly Natal makes his way over to the last man, Marshal. Natal's walk is slow and I can literally feel the anger radiating off of him.

Marshal's face is pale and he shakes I see his mouth opening but I can't hear anything. My eyes are soon covered and everything is black and silent. It doesn't take long for screeching to start to echo around and I actually feel scared.

"Shhh, don't listen." Arianni's soft voice murmurs and I can hear her heart beat. I find myself slowly calming and see that I was shaking before. My breathing is calmer and I find I can see.

Natal is making his way over with an odd expression and I just stare. I don't know what I feel at the moment but I am not afraid of Natal.

Apparently he see's something in my gaze he doesn't like. His face becomes pained and he slowly backs away. "I'm sorry…"

"Natal, you're hurt we should-" Arianni starts.

"I can't! Not right now." He interrupts before turning swiftly and running.

Glancing over, I see her biting her lip while her eyes well up with tears. She looks down at us and I finally notice Feynriel. His nose is running and tears are falling freely but… he is silent.

"Remember Natal saved us. He loves you both, don't be afraid." Arianni whispers, standing up slowly and hugging us tightly.

I stay silent but bring my hand up and softly touch her cheek. My gaze is strong and I hope I am showing I am not afraid. At the moment I don't think I can talk, I am probably in shock but I know I am not afraid of Natal.

I can feel the warm liquid falling down the copper haired elf. She shows a sad smile and nods while she walks forward.

One thought circles around in my head that makes everything seem more real. Natal, my joking and kind Natal is a mage. The people looked down upon for something special they are born with.


	7. Chapter 7

**I want to send a thank you to Cass-The-Nerd, Nikanox, OnlyHalfEvil333, and SleepiPanda for following this story. You guys are amazing, this chapter is for you! I am on a roll! Reviews are appreciated but not needed. (Reviews telling me how I could make my writing better are very much appreciated!) Thank to everyone who has reviewed. I have read the reviews and I hold them in my heart and giggle!**

 **(Another sort of filler chapter! Sorry. Next one will be more story oriented)**

 **Beta'd by Lee Totema**

Happiness is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment. Not only is Natal still ignoring and avoiding me even after six months, but when I asked Varric and Bianca for books I meant books I could read. Not picture books that look creepier than it should be, being kid's book and all. Not only is that it but Arianni is reading them to both Feynriel and I and using those reading voices. The ones where you pretend you're the character. That is getting on my nerves.

I stare blankly at the woman as her voice went higher as she spoke as some fairy named Vallen. Shaking my head I stood up and began to walk away. I paused as Arianni called out to me. "Where are you going?"

"I want a different book." I replied slowly. I am getting the hang of pronunciation but I just have to speak a little slower or I slur the words. I am using a few more difficult words but I am nowhere near the level I was. I don't want to scare anyone though into thinking a demon possessed me.

"…I see. Grab the book and come back here though." The elf woman demands softly.

I nod back before turning. Walking over to the shelf, I lean over slightly and can see out of the room and into the bar part of The Hanged Man. It isn't as rowdy as it is still mid-day but there are still some drunk idiots bumbling about.

Letting out a sigh, I glance back at the shelf and begin reading the titles before shaking my head and grabbing called 'The Chain of the Saarebas.' I blink quickly and squint while reading the title again as I sit down near Arianni. I am very surprised there is a Qunari book here. Or maybe someone wrote this to make fun of them.

Sitting cross legged, I open the book and see a few pictures with small paragraphs. True it is a children's book. I first begin to look at the pictures first. On the first page it shows a Qunari with their lips sewn shut. I frown instantly. I could never agree with doing that against someone's will.

The next picture shows the same Qunari bound in chains with a metal mask over their face. My frown intensifies as I flip the page and see another with two Qunari. One bound and the other standing by with a large sword.

One last picture shows the bound Qunari in a rage, the demons arms surround the Qunari. Tilting my head I flip back to the first page and begin reading.

It starts off telling about two Qunari, one a Saarebas and an Arvaarad travelling. The Arvaarad begins to question the Saarebas about being a mage and why the Qunari treat them like this. The next page is about how a rage demon shows up and starts telling the Saarebas about taking over their body. The Saarebas is very wise and tells the demon that it does not own their body and that it is owned by the Qun. The demon becomes agitated and leaves. The Arvaarad becomes enlightened.

My face becomes blank as I close the book and hum. It was indeed a good story but it left me empty. I find it a sad existence that the Saarebas are bound and chained.

Standing up I walk back over to the shelf and put the book back before grabbing another one called 'Witchwood.' There are no pictures in this one and it is smaller. I flip to the first page and see there are only three pages.

This is about an arrogant boy who was warned away from the woods. He goes out and steps on the edge of the woods saying he isn't scared. He hears a voice telling him how brave he is and he is not scared to enter. He enters and is never seen again.

Closing this book I shake my head with a small chuckle. This one was funny because of the child's pride and ignorance. I stand up and stretch with the book in hand. I glance over and see Feynriel sleeping in Arianni's arms with the book on the ground.

"It's time for his nap I suppose. Would you like to take a nap too?" She questions.

I give her a bland look while walking over to the shelf and putting the book away. She laughs in response and spoke. "I will head home and put him down for his nap." She whispers while walking out.

Shrugging, I walked over and peaked out at the bar area again. I let my eyes wonder around and I saw a familiar head of messy black hair. I froze temporarily before moving forward a little bit at time. I quickly shot forward as I saw him head for the door.

I won't let Natal get away from me now. I need to talk to him. He never lets me get close. He runs away all the time. To be honest it is a very annoying situation. He is being selfish. He is not giving me a chance to talk to him and tell him how I feel.

Running into a couple of people, I easily ignore their angry protests and shouts. Dodging all of the drunken people, I got to the door but saw that he already left. Stopping in my tracks, I look down and clench my fists tightly. It hurt truthfully.

I care so much for him. He helped take care of me. Natal made me laugh and helped me when I was crying. He has done so much and even protected me when we were in trouble.

"Hey, hey! What have I told you about coming out here alone?!" I heard as someone picked me up. I sniffled well looking up at and saw the chiseled face of my father Varric.

His stern gaze disappeared as he saw the tears falling down my face. Instantly his eyes softened and he began walking back to our room. I brought my arms up and began rubbing my face trying to get rid of the tears.

"What's wrong my little Lotus?" he questions gently. (I find the new nickname humorous as I did research before I died about flowers. Lotus means birth and rebirth.)

"Natal… Why won't he talk to me? Does he hate me? D-did I do something wrong?!" I cry out as we are now in our room. I let my tears fall freely as I feel my chest pulse in pain. My stomach hurts and my heart aches.

"I love him!" I sob out well hugging Varric tightly with my little arms. I rub my face into his shoulder vigorously.

"Hey! Don't wipe your snot on me! This is real velvet made in Orlais." Varric whines out well ruffling my hair. I shake my head trying not to fall for his jokes.

"How dare that man make my little Lotus fall for her and abandon her! I will make him pay!" He continues with fake anger and twirls me around.

I finally let out the giggles, I couldn't contain them. A few more tears fell but they stopped soon enough and I erupted into giggles as we both fell on the bed and Varric began to tickle me. My sides began to hurt but I was enjoying it.

It took a few minutes but we both settled down. After a few breaths I stared at the ceiling and spoke softly. "Don't care that Natal's a mage. Want our family back!"

Varric looks at me kindly before speaking. "Sometimes things happen in the past that can scare us away from a future. A future that may even be bright and full of happiness… We may be so terrified that we avoid that happiness. He will come through though, I know Natal. He is stubborn but he still and will always care for you. Little Lotus- you just need to show him how stubborn you are." His words are soft but his words are strong.

Sitting up, I stare at my lap for a little bit with a frown. I always forget I am only two years old and I really can't do much. That won't change anytime soon. I am too young for people to take seriously. Or they automatically think I don't understand what is really going on.

I am very lucky that Varric is the one who found me. He still treats me like a child but it is more or less so I can have fun and have a childhood. He tells me about how Bartrand raised him. Learning business talk and how to out think your competitors. Varric wants me to have fun. I appreciate his thoughtfulness.

Laying back down I nod my head. "I understand." Murmuring this, I look up at Varric and snuggle into his chest. Yes he does have chest hair, even at the young age of eighteen. It first creeped me out when I was younger but now it is a rather comfy place to rest my head.

"Daddy…Why is Bianca not here…?" I pause as I can't pronounce some of the words I want to say. "Not here as much." I try again.

The blonde sighs and speaks sadly as he looks down at me. "Her family doesn't like me or Bartrand. We aren't good enough in their eyes. She is trying to visit but… It's hard." He hugs my closer to him.

"S'ok. I love you!" I amp up the cute factor as I really don't like when Varric is sad.

"Hah! I love you too little Lotus." The dwarf coo's out and rubs his face against mine. I can feel the slight stubble rub against me and I let loose a few giggles.

"Scratchy! Stop!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Sup my beautiful friends. My favorite'ers and Followers! My reviewers! I have something to announce…. Chapter 8! Lol. Thank for continuing on this journey with me, please stay tuned for more! Also thank you to: Nikanox, salinagriego, barkingupthewrongkey, Mizuki00, ALotOfNerdyThings, ElyssaCousland, Gendalon, CutieLilBookWorm, and MerelyLily for following this story!**

 **Beta Lee Totema**

* * *

Three years later and you think people would have learned by now I am not stupid. I am very smart and, for your own good, don't speak about secrets in front of me. 'It seems not though…' I think while my eyes flick up over the book I was reading. Sitting in a small chair, I remained either unnoticed or ignored. Which is totally fine by me.

"What are we gonna do brother… we only got enough to pay for next month." The young red haired dwarf mutters out well he picks at his already ripped nails.

"Be quiet. We can lie… we will figure something out. Damn… we are already in debt to Bartrand." Another brunet bearded dwarf grumbled out while looking around.

I quickly glance down at my book and flip to the next page. At the moment I have already read through this book but it is something I find I enjoy re-reading. The Ptarmigan: An Avvar Tale. It is a soft story about not judging others.

Bartrand comes back with a piece of paper and hands it over to the other two dwarves. He nods with a grunt and waves his hand at them to leave. They each glance at each other and bow. They quickly scurry out without another word.

Standing up, I walk over to Bartrand and stare up at him. I do this to annoy him and get attention. It is a funny little action Bartrand hates.

I could almost feel the ground shake as the dwarf growls out "What do you want!?" I hold my chuckle in. Keeping my face straight I begin to speak in a monotone voice. "You should buy them." I state simply.

His eyes narrow and he puts the paper down he is reading. "What are you yapping about?" He grunts.

"I heard them speaking about having little to no money left. To help them, help you, buy them. As a business, you could change the guilds name or keep it and people would see you as a saint. Or some could see how cunning as everything but name is yours. You will see what they sell, how much, what they buy, and who they associate themselves with." I start while pulling a chair around.

I grab a blank piece of cheap paper and a quill and begin writing some of the information down. I am remembering about the business buy-outs we had for big corporations. Some merged and some were bought against their wishes but money rules all.

"You could merge. If you do this as a show of faith that would get you harder working workers and people more willing to talk to you about that they do. You could also buy them up and then you own them in a sense. This would give you full access to all the information but they will be wary and there will be little trust. You could go in the middle. It is pretty much what you're doing now but you could rent them more like and pay for a certain amount of time with interest. As long as they pay you back at the end everyone is happy. However the problem is the end payment is always a lot." I explain while finishing with my writing and showing him the three different methods.

Grabbing the paper, Bartrand reads through it well chewing on one of his nails. His eyes narrow and then he looks over at me. "Where did you learn this?" His voice is sharp and cautious.

"I like to read." I reply simply with a shrug.

I am so happy about my age now. Not only can I do more physical things now that I am five but my speech is so much better. My pronunciation is near perfect. I can use more intellectual words without people totally freaking out. They still do but not as bad as I thought they would.

"You just happen to read these things?" His voice comes out exasperated.

Shrugging once more, I hum in reply to the question. I let my lips curl slightly in a sarcastic manner. I do love to tease uncle Bartrand, his cheeks tend to go a pretty rose color when he gets frustrated.

That did not happen as he just scowled and waved at me. "Get out of here you git" He grips the paper and his eyes once more roam over it well he mumbles to himself. Chuckling lowly, I cover my mouth and fake gasp at the little insult.

Sitting up from my chair I tilt my head and stretch my body. I hear a few pops but that is it. I let a smile show. "I will go see what daddy is doing." I inform the other.

He grunts as I turn and walk over to the book shelf. Setting the book down, I swivel and head out of the room. Glancing around the dank bar, I try to find Norah. She has always been kind to me. I have always been respectful towards her too. Norah looks a lot younger, she is probably only in her teens at the moment.

Spotting the familiar figure, I quickly move forward and weave in-between the crowds of people. Occasionally I spit out an "Excuse me" or "sorry" before I finally stopped a few feet in front of the young woman.

"Alright already you lout! I said you get your drink when ya get it!" I heard her snap out as some older man grabbed her skirt demanding his drink. Her face twisted angrily and she slaps his hand away. Turning her head, her eyes settle on me and her face splits into a smile.

"Well if it isn't the little Tethras! What you be wanting dear?" Her voice still came out louder as The Hanged man was a rather boisterous place.

"Have you seen Varric?" I tried to raise my voice enough to be heard over the crowd.

"Aye I did. He was just in here not even twenty minutes ago. Was with some dirty looking fellows though. I wouldn't go looking for him, he will come back eventually" As she spoke Norah headed back over to the tap to wash the cups and refill. Washing them was pretty much just dunking them in water a few times.

I let out a breath and nod. "Alright, I see. Thank you Miss Norah. Hope you have a nice day!" I wave well turning and heading back to our room. I hear her grunt back before I am standing in front of Bartrand.

"Uncle Bartrand, would you like me to go out and guy us some more water? We seem to be low." We actually buy our own water. Varric still drinks the ale they sell here but not the water. He says it tastes like piss. I am not going to ask on that front.

I hear him grumble in response and shove some money forward. Tilting my head, I raise my brow and grab two sovereigns and one silver. Turning, I shove them in my small pants pocket and walk out. I easily walk through the crowd.

I pause at the door as I almost never go out alone. It isn't just because I am elf either, there are plenty of people out there who would be more than willing to kidnap and sell me. Taking a deep breath, I move forward and push the door open, with some difficulty.

Stepping outside, I feel the cool breeze on my face. My lips quirk upward slightly as I start to move towards the docks. At the moment they have a stand that collects sea water. They boil it a few times, putting a glass in the middle of the pot. They flip the pot covering into the glass so it could collect the vapors and become drinkable. Then they fill containers and selling them. That is really the cleanest water around this area. You could always buy some in Hightown but it is super expensive and they tend to only sell to nobles.

Unlike what some people think, I walk out in the open. It is less likely for someone to try and kidnap me. I could see a few people eyeing me. This is something I have become accustomed to. Sighing, I worked myself up to a slow jog. I smiled at some familiar faces, people whom Bartrand did not piss off with his unique charm.

By now I could hear the sounds of seagulls and the soft splashing of waves. Picking up my pace, I let out a few giggles. This feeling of freedom felt amazing. I appreciate Varric trying to keep me safe but I am going crazy being stuck in that room for days on end.

Seeing the water stand, I walk over to it and stand on my tip toes. There are around five people already there. I can see that some are just complaining out how expensive it is.

"It's water! It should be free, yet here you are selling outlandish prices for something that is all around us!" I see one of the priest sisters complaining.

Letting out a scoff, I push my way forward. I slam my hand on the table along with one sovereign. The table only trembles a little, speaking up I eye the Sister. "If you have time to complain Miss… Why don't you proposition for the chantry to do this, since you say you want to help those who cannot help themselves. Don't waste this man's time."

Letting my gaze wander over, I see the man press his lips together well pointing at me and glaring at the woman. "See that, a child has more sense than you do Sister. Now I ain't no charity case. I am a business man. If you got time to complain boil your own damn water and help everyone."

Shaking his head, he grumbles while picking up the money I gave him "Three gallons of water, now can you carry this yer'self or do you need one of my men ta help?"

I set the silver piece on the table "I will need some help sir. I just need it taken to The Hanged Man- thank you." I nod.

"Humph… only person who has manners around here is an elf child." He states while glaring harshly at the Sister. Her face goes red and she stalks off. I tilt my head and watch her before someone taps my shoulder.

Turning my eyes widen when I see off grey skin. I am staring at a Qunari or what is most likely a Tal-Vashoth. I turn to look at him. "Yes?"

He smirks and shows surprisingly sharp teeth. "I will be taking your water little girl." He says. I can see the clay vase he is holding.

"Oh, alright thank you mister." I murmur. I look over my shoulder and flick my thumb in that direction. "It is this way." Informing the other I begin to walk back.

Glancing up a few times, I can see that his hair is actually a dark red color and styled in a Mohawk. His horns are shaved down. They are only sprouting from his head about an inch.

"Are you curious little girl?" He questions, his surprisingly gold eyes almost freeze me.

" _Curious_? That isn't the word I would use. You are just very tall sir."

"Hah, most notice more about me and my unique appearance than just my height." He chuckles while shaking his head and shifting the vase on his shoulder. I can see he is rather slim for being a Qunari.

I wave my hand in front of my face. "Have you not seen my eyes? Appearances are the least of my concern. My daddy is a dwarf and his brother is a… butthead. He stirs up trouble and many people are out for our blood. Your looks do not concern me." Shrugging, I glance around again to make sure there aren't any suspicious people following us.

"You're a very unique child yourself." He laughs out "What's your name?"

I remain quiet as I look up at the other, nodding I speak up. "Arinda Tethras"

"Ah… So you're the spunky child of Varric's. He talks about you a lot." I feel my face heat up. Stupid doting father!

"What's your name?"

Silence is my response. I close my eyes well pressing my lips together. Opening, I look forward as I continue in a light voice. "Is it hard living free? Was it worth it?"

I can see his steps flinch and his head tilts to look at me. With the slightest movement of my head, I let my white eyes connect to his smoldering gold. His lips are parted and his brows furrow.

"You…" He sighs and starts over. "It was difficult to get away. Now it is a hard life. When people see me they see people who want to force their way of living on others. They see tyrants and freaks. Those people aren't wrong. The Qunari are harsh people… Now that I am free. I am no longer Qunari, I am Tal'Vashoth."

I show an amused smile. "Labels are put on people to make them easier to handle or deal with. I would be called a Flat-ear by the Dalish because I do not have their beliefs nor do I wish to live as them or have their opinion. So I am labeled and cast out. That way I am not seen as one of them and a failure. So mister… You are a Qunari too. You are just different, you are free. Define your path not just as a Qunari- define yourself as a person and don't let labels hold you down."

"Cunning, smart, cute, amusing, intelligent, crude- these labels I can accept but if I don't like one I can ignore it. You are a smart person sir, don't let others words hold you back" I finish. It was difficult. When I get excited or talk to long my five year old mouth trips up, so some words were slurred or mispronounced. I think I got the idea out correctly.

Only what I could describe as loud silence followed my little speech. We were both standing in front of The Hanged Man. His eyes were wide, face almost pale.

"You child… you have been touched by wisdom and compassion." Whispering this, his large hand runs over my hair and tickles the tips of my pointed ears.

I flinch slightly and curl my head forward as soft laughter escapes me. I peek my eyes up and see that this big giant man… his eyes look wet.

Shaking his head the Qunari pushes the door open and lets me walk in first. I breathe out a 'thanks' and move around the crowd. It is not that hard seeing as when they see him behind me they give us a wide berth.

As we walk into Varric and Bartrands shared room, I see Bartrand do a double take. Blinking the dwarf sets his quill down and stands up.

"I brought the water!" I speak up before my uncle shoves his ego and foot in his mouth.

He looks the Qunari up and down. "Indeed you did" He mutters.

"You can set it down over there." Bartrand orders while pointing next to his desk.

My new friend nods and walks over well gently lowering the vase. I hear some kind of scuffle going on. Bartrand grunts before scuttling out to see what's going on. I hear him muttering about how it is probably Varric.

I turn and stare at the Qunari. I tilt my head and frown, he is very kind. I want to help him sometime but he probably wants to build his new life himself.

"Revas!" I shout out. I remember.

Stepping back he raises a brow. "What?"

"That is your name- Revas."

"What does it mean?" He asks warily.

I smile at him happily. "It means freedom."

Freezing again, he eyes me like I am something else. "Isn't that elf language?"

"Yes and my name is Dwarfish but so? Remember choose what you want. If you don't like it…"

"No. I like it a lot. Revas- yes that is perfect. Thank you." The now dubbed Revas murmurs with a new light. Our moment it broken though as an arrow thuds right next to my foot.

An involuntary shrieks falls out of my mouth. Revas quickly grabs me and moves himself to the wall while holding me. He peeks out and I see Varric with a terrifying face as many dwarfs with weapons out glare at him. Bartrand is scowling over to the side and Bianca is being held back.

Gasping, I open my mouth but close it. I have no idea what is going on, if I stupidly shout out or run I could endanger everyone more.

Clutching Revas' arm I bite my lip and frown. I take a shaky breath and try to listen in.

"Father stop please! I will go with you- you don't have to kill him." Bianca cries out.

"You have brought shame to us by… fraternizing with this scum. We will not allow you to continue with this." An older dwarf with black hair and a black beard peppered with grey. I could feel the tension rising.

"Sir I didn't mean to-" Varric tried but was interrupted.

"Don't talk to me!" The black haired dwarf growled lowly.

Tensing more my mind worked 'This must be when that big fight happened where Varric and Bianca are no longer able to meet' I thought to myself. Shakily I took in a breath. I know how much he loves her.

"Father let's just leave. Please just leave him alone. I won't talk to him just don't hurt him!" Bianca pleads with tears in her eyes. She wrestles out of the people holding her and runs in front of Varric and stares at her dad. Her whole body trembles well she shields him.

"No… Don't go Bianca- You'll make daddy sad." I whisper well clutching Revas' arm even tighter. I believe I was probably clawing his arm up. My own tears were dribbling down my cheek and falling on the Qunari's arm.

Bianca and her father stared at each other. Finally after five straight minutes of choking silence, he spoke up. "Fine. We are leaving immediately! Don't dally. 'round up men!" He snarls before turning while grabbing Bianca's arm. She whimpers while turning her glassy gaze to Varric.

She reaches out to him with her mouth opening with no sound. I could see Varric's arm twitch but he didn't teach forward. He knew if he did… everything would fall. They were never going to have a happy ending.

Sound exploded around as people stomped out and chairs were thrown out of people's way. Others were yelling over each other. I finally noticed that The Hanged Man still had patrons. I didn't care though.

Varric can never be happy and it isn't fair! I could feel snot and tears falling down my face as I broke out into sobs I could not control. I couldn't understand why I was crying, I am not the one who is hurting. Daddy is and I should be happy, I should be trying to help him be happy but I can't stop crying. I can't stop this burning in my chest or how my heart aches.

"Daddy!" I sob out well Revas hugs me to his chest.

I can tell this is only the start of what I will feel in the future. Bartrand will betray us and our home will be destroyed. "What 'em I gonna do!?" I slur out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Greeting's my friends. I am look forward to any input you all give me. Please I still would like for some people to drop some riddles in my PM so I can put them in the story! Thank you Sophiasilkthe1st, BuddahBelly, ToasterMuffan, dreamkitty26, and Grey Blazar for following, you are lovely people.**

 **Beta'd by the beautiful Lee Totema**

"Up up! Wake up my Lotus!" An over cheerful voice yells.

Every cell in my body is demanding for blood. This person must die. I will not stand for this kind of cheerfulness in the morning. I groan to myself and roll away from the offending voice.

"Uh-uh! Remember? It is time for my baby girl to learn how to fight." Varric coo's out happily. I hear a sharp clap sound and soon enough the bed is bouncing and I want to murder my father.

"I will show you my fighting ability if you keep-"

The covers were cruelly ripped off my tiny form and the cold air of the morning hit me. I curled into myself and started to screech "I'm dying! I'm melting… The morning- it's too early too much" I fake cough at the end and groan loudly for good measure before going even limper.

It is silent for a few moments before I hear a sigh "Stop being so dramatic Lotus. It's not the end of the world." Varric chuckles at the end before I am pulled into someone body. I blink blearily and smack my lips together. My eyes are squinted as I try to open them but everything is too bright.

"Ugghh. No, it's too damn early." I grumbled well shoving my face into his chest. Probably rubbing slobber all over his hair in the process.

I feel a light tap on my head, "Hey! What did I say about swearing?"

"… Don't get caught?"

"Hahaha, no. That is for stealing."

I hum in reply and slowly blink till my eyes become used to the light. Letting my eyes wander, up I see Varric smiling down at me. "Morning daddy." Bringing my hand up I rub my eyes and feel some of the eye crust loosen. Grunting I rub them more and finally I feel awake.

"Why must you always have these small fits?" The dwarf questions well bringing a hand up and rubbing his chest hair to get my drool off. The blonde has become quite accustomed to how children bodily functions work. He no longer reacts to drool, snot, poop or pee.

"Why do you continue to wake me at these ungodly hours if you know how I will react?!" I shoot back easily enough. Yawning, I felt my jaw crack but I ignore it in favor of cuddling closer to Varric to stay warm.

The dwarf pushes me away and stands up. Walking over to a shelf, he grabs two wooden knives and his own bow. He sets the knives on the table. Looking over his shoulder he motions me over. "Hop to it Arinda. You need to train today. I let you skip the last three days. You're six years old. It is about time you start to learn how to defend yourself."

I look away and clench my fists tightly. "I-I don't want to fight." I whisper while glaring at the velvet red sheets. Every day I am surrounded by drunks, by the sick, weary, and dying. I am getting tired of everything centering around who can and cannot survive.

I hear creaking and a large hand pats my head. "It's not about fighting Lotus, fighting doesn't always have to be about death. You are learning how to protect your friends, family, and beliefs. I am not teaching you how to become a killer. These skills I am teaching you, they can help you in the future- you must be the one to choose how you use them." Varric's voice came out soft.

Looking up, I saw only warmth and truth in my father's eyes. Reaching up I rubbed my watering eyes and finally nod. Varric pats my head one more time before flicking his thumb over his shoulder. "I have some toast and eggs on the table. Eat it and meet me at the table in the corner. We will head out after."

Sniffing lightly, I nod and climb off the bed. My bare feet touch the dirty ground and I wiggle my toes. Taking a deep breath, I scurry over to the small plate of food. Picking it up, I begin to shove the food into my mouth. It didn't really have a taste, the texture was gross though.

Finishing with my food, I set it back on the table and walk over to the plain dresser. Opening it, I grab plain brown trousers along with a dark green long sleeved top. Seeing as Varric prefers the finer clothes he buys me the same. I don't allow the velvet and silk but he still buys the more expensive clothing. Pulling it on, I stretch and glance at my feet, I have a habit of not wearing shoes. My feet have slight callouses so the ground doesn't hurt me.

I grab the two small wooden daggers and make my way out of the room. The stench of sweat, beer and piss hits me. I don't understand why people would continuously come here to get drunk. Shaking my head, I walk over to Varric and show my daggers. "I'm ready." I murmur.

"Hahaha! No need to act as if I am sending you out to war." Joking, Varric stood and patted me on the head while leading me out of the tavern. I kept my head down and gripped the daggers tighter. I have no illusion of me becoming a master fighter, saving the world and becoming a hero. I am more or less neutral. If my family and friends are safe- I don't give a shit what happens in the world.

Glancing up, I saw that we were in one of the abandoned buildings in Lowtown. Everyone thought it was abandoned but truth be told Bartrand owned it. More or less it was for new recruits and used for training them. Stealth, reading, writing, fighting, and much more.

"Now Lotus I will be teaching you the basic's for now. Your body is still growing so I don't want you to build too much muscle- that can actually be counterproductive. For now I will teach you how to hold a dagger properly in hopes you don't injure yourself. I will also be showing you how to use a bow." As he spoke the blonde walked over and took the daggers.

"I want you two know some simple things before you touch this. One is that you will get cut, even if you become a master you can and will be injured, whether it is from someone else's daggers, sword, or magic. You must remain calm even when injured or in pain. You can't let fear control you, let it guide you. Time is very important, the faster you injure your enemy the more likely you are to kill them. Last- running away is not bad. Running away can keep you and your comrades alive. There is no shame in it." I listened as intently as I could. Seeing how serious Varric was, I knew I had to take these lessons serious.

Taking a few breaths in I steeled myself. "What if I can't get away?" I ask.

"Then you shouldn't have entered that fight. Listen here Arinda, there are times a fight surprises you. I will admit that but those times are few and far between for people like us. The people we have to worry about are bandits and anyone Bartrand angered. If your uncle watched his mouth more, we would have fewer problems. Try not to make enemies, it's hard but fewer enemies mean less fights. That will save your life. Be cautious and know your surroundings, scout ahead or read the animals, look for unusual tracks or traps-" I could almost see the gears in dads mind moving. His words were strong. I could tell he has been through many fights even if he doesn't want to admit it. He smiles though, all the times.

"Do not let pride win. Many people let their pride talk and that kills them. In our professions the only way you win is being smarter, cunning, and ready for a fight at all times. We are better than most. That is because we learned. This is a game, one that you only have one chance. The only time you lose is when you die. So if you mess up or make a mistake get right back up and continue."

Biting my lip, I frown. Everything he is saying is true. Every lesson, advice, and order- this is becoming real. 'This world is becoming dangerous and real, these deaths will be real and they will come over to my home, they will hurt my friends and family! They will kill everyone!' My thoughts were turning negative and terrifying.

"Lotus… Lotus! What is wrong!?" I blinked and my vision is blurred. My eyes stung and I was trembling.

I remained silent as I stood still, I was cold. Scared.

"I don't want anyone to die!" My voice finally came out loud and scared. I turned on my heels and shot out of the door. I don't want this to be real. I want it to be a game where I can sit at home and cry and laugh. I want this to be easy where I can start over if necessary. I want this to be fun where dad doesn't have to get hurt. I don't want this to be real anymore! I want it to be a game!

Thick wet tears dripped down my face as I ran through Lowtown. I ran through crowds and around people, bumping into a few people I found myself at the docks. Sniffling, I could feel the sobs in my throat threatening to come out. I didn't want other people to see me cry.

Swiftly taking off again, I found an old falling apart building. Climbing through the window, I pushed myself into a corner and curl into myself. I let whimpers escape but dug my nails into my arm. I can't cry, I have been crying too much for no reason but fear.

'Don't let fear control you' I whispered. Dad said I can't let fear control me. For some reason I felt like something extremely bad would happen if I did. My arms began to sting from me tearing my nails into them. That's when I heard light footsteps.

"Arinda?" Bringing my hand up I wipe my nose as I look up and see Revas. Sniffling again, I look away in shame. Clenching and unclenching my hands, my pale eyes flicker around the dusty room. There are a few larger wooden chairs along with a small round table.

"What are you doing here? What happened?" The Qunari walks over quickly and picks me up. Gently, he pushes my head to his shoulder. A few more sniffs follow before I let out a cry and grip his shoulder to pull myself closer.

Revas whispers tenderly while petting my head and softly shushing me. My sobs turning into choked whimpers as I force myself to stop crying, my body trembling with the effort of it. I focused on the sound of chatter outside, opening my eyes I looked around and saw on the table there was food.

Wiggling my nose, I spoke up my voice cracking. "Do you live here?"

"Ah yes. It is not much, but it is home." The grey male pulls me away slightly so he can look into my eyes. He wipes my eyes and walks over to the chair by the table and sits down with me in his lap. His gold eyes are kind as he speaks again. "Now tell me, what has you in such a state?"

Taking one last big breath, I calm down and fidget. I don't want anyone to know my fears, to see how much of a child I am. I know this will eventually break me, I can't keep my pain inside or I will go insane.

Looking back up at my friend I speak. "I am scared." I whisper weakly and look away. I can feel the tears gathering once more. The anxiety inside builds like a flame, it was trying to burn its way out of me. Every day I look in the mirror and pretend that what will happen, won't. Each day I pushed it away hoping that none of this was real- just an elaborate dream. As the days grew longer and harder, as people died… I knew. This was only the beginning.

"I don't want people to die. I don't want them to suffer. War is coming and I am scared they will all die. I am terrified I won't be able to protect my dad! People are going to die again and again!" My voice began to rise as I spoke and my fists trembled as I look earnestly into his eyes.

Revas blinked in shock at my words, his lips parted as he seemed to want to say something but couldn't get it across correctly. I covered my eyes as the liquid fell again and shook my head. I won't be strong enough, I am just a child. I am someone who didn't have to fight to survive. I was alone but still protected.

I could feel him shifting as he spoke. "I heard a tale from the Tamassran when I was a child. It was about the Kossith." He started. I glance up and see him show a smile. "The Qunari who came before us."

Removing my hands, I turn my attention back to him. "She told us of a Kossith, their name lost in history. He was strong and sure. He spoke of the future as if he knew, this Qunari wanted to change the world. For the one he saw was torn, bloody and broken. Everything he touched had a job, every word he spoke had meaning, every person he met changed what could have been. As he grew older and as the ways changed, the Qunari thought him soft, they thought him odd. He never wavered- he knew his job. No matter what others thought he knew he had found his role. As he pushed forward to shape this world, the ground shook and the stars shined. Nehraa Qun." Revas looks into my eyes and he tucks my brown shoulder length hair behind my ear.

"Kadan… Never waver from what you know you should do. It shouldn't seem like a role or a job. Inside here-" His big finger touched over where my heart is, "I know you truly want to do what is right. You want to help others. Don't hold back because you are afraid, when you are truly needed I know you will pull through. You are a protector. I can feel it." The large man smiles softly.

I stare in awe at the Qunari, people feared for existing just as mages. Closing my eyes, I breathe a few times and open them. Showing an awkward smile, I let out a snarky comment. "Nice speech. However next time don't smile with your teeth. Sharp pointing teeth of death aren't very aspiring" I laugh out and rub my nose.

"You…" He starts before shaking his head and ruffling my hair. Standing up, he brings me up to his shoulders and lets me sit on them. I hold on to his regrowing horns and show a smile of my own.

"I ran from dad. He was teaching me how to fight… I should go back. I need to talk to him." I say.

Making his way out, he ducks so I don't hit my head on the door way. I can see a few people glancing at us, by now though people have gotten used to this. My eyes flicker around this is when I catch sight of a familiar dwarf. I yank slightly on Revas' horns. He lets out a grunt and turns.

"Daddy!" I yell.

Varric turns quickly and runs over when he sees me. Revas sets me down and Varric himself grabs me tightly and hugs me. I can feel his sweat on his chest and his quick breathing. 'He was searching for me' I think to myself ashamed.

"Arinda Alma Tethras! Where… You ran off and I didn't know where you were! Do you have any idea how worried I was!?" Varric went from checking me over to glaring.

I glance over before letting my eyes look back into his hazel eyes. Seeing his concerned gaze I could feel my chest bloom with warmth. "As worried as when you forget to turn something into to your publisher?" I crack with a wry smile.

He chokes before smiling and resting his forehead on mine "Close but not quite. Lotus… why did you run?"

"I was scared. I am still scared but I know that I have to get stronger so I won't be scared." I murmur while closing my eyes and just taking his scent and warmth in.

"What are you afraid of?"

"Losing the people I care about. Losing you, Natal, Revas, even Uncle Bartrand." I then feel it hit me. I am not only scared of them dying, of this war. I am afraid of being alone again. Opening my eyes, I let go of my wall, of my guard. I want my father to see me for who I am. Right now… No matter how smart or sarcastic I am- I am a scared little girl.

"Lotus-"

"It is fine dad. I will be alright. I was just trying to be brave. I don't want to be brave anymore, I am scared right? Why pretend other whys. I just need to get better, stronger, and smarter so I don't have a reason to be scared." I interrupt him and show a smile. It is weak and sad. Broken. It can be fixed though.

"I am ready, ready to learn how to fight." I pull away and hold his larger and stubbier hands with mine. My pale opal eyes turn to look at Revas too. "Please help me learn so I can protect everyone I can possibly protect."


	10. Chapter 10

Sitting with Varric, I held a quill in my right hand while I carefully wrote out words. 'Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.' I have been working on my writing lately. Mostly just poems I remember. Dad absolutely loves them. He has even showed them to his publisher. Personally I think it would be great if some of these great poems were shown to the world. They could help some people who are in dark places.

Pulling back, I take a look at my words and smile. For being only seven my hand writing is very neat and legible. I finally got to learn the fancy curly letter style of writing. Nodding I glance at some of the other poems I have wrote before setting the feather down and stretching my arms up. "Done so soon?" I glance over and see dad writing too. He must be working on one of his books.

The dwarf has written many books but most have been rejected, he hasn't lost heart. I got to read most of the ones that weren't inappropriate. I found them entertaining but they missed something, something I could not place.

I smile happily at him. "Yes. I don't want my hand to cramp up. Are you done?"

"Hmm. With this chapter, yes. I can't think of what to do next. Should the daring thief forget about her own past with the enemy and fall in love or… kill him!" He says dramatically.

"Really?" I state with a deadpan "Falling in love with your enemy? That is very mainstream."

Pouting he stopped writing and gave me a face. Rolling my eyes I turn and grab my brush and gently begin to go through my hair. My brown locks reached to about mid back now. I was also about the same height as dad now. My pale eyes flickered over once more to him.

"You said you would take me out for my first hunt anyways dad. It is noon already. If we don't go out soon it will be too late in the day. Bandits and a bunch of other bad things will be out." I state while setting the wooden brush down. Crossing my arms, I stare accusingly at him.

He sighs and sets his own quill down. "Alright I understand. No need to give me the look."

My lips curl and I quickly turn to our cabinet. I pull the chain out of my shirt and use the key on it to unlock it. I heard the soft click and opened the oak cupboard. I saw my short bow, it was made of ash. It was crafted well with small swirly designs. The wood color was light and the bow itself was a perfect weight for me. I had to do a few pushups and exercises to be able to pull the string back.

Grabbing it, I turn and see dad with his own Ironbark longbow. I swiftly move the bow to my back and grab my arrows and case. I strap that to my back too and make my way over. I grab his hand in my excitement and show a smile with all teeth.

Laughing, he pulls us forward and nods to Bartrand who grunts in response. I shake my head and we make our way outside. I take big whiff of the air and wrinkle my nose at it. It smells like piss and something else. Varric pulls me forward and I speak up. "Where are we going? The forest is that way?"

"I have to pick someone else up. It would be stupid to go with just me and you." The dwarf states simply. I let my gaze wonder around and see vendors trying to sell their wares. I could see some pretty jewelry and clothes but turn away. Bartrand would never let me buy that. He has become very stingy with our money lately.

Fluttering my eyes, I shrug and smile as I see some familiar faces. Some workers or just folk who live down here. I have been helping some of them for the last year. I will go shopping for some of the elderly or sick. I get paid a little for it and I keep that hidden in my mattress. So many people have come to accept me even if I am an elf.

I find myself in front of a small rundown house. Varric walks in without knocking, I raise a brow. Turning he guides me to a seat. "Wait well I talk to him Lotus." I tilt my head and nod.

As he walks away, I run my fingers through my hair. Frowning, I begin to slowly braid it. I don't want it to get in my way. As I near the end, I hear the voices become louder. Widening my eyes, I tie a leather string at the base of my head as I recognize the voice. Natal.

I can barely make out what they are saying. I grip the wood chair and lean forward slightly with my heart beating rapidly. I have not seen him in years. It was as if he vanished. I didn't really know what to feel, I thought of him frequently but never pondered where he was.

"I have paid my debt to Bartrand! I no longer work for him." I heard the familiar soft voice snap.

"So my daughter is a debt? A job? I am asking you to come and watch her first hunt Natal. You said you would be there for her yet you ran when _you_ got scared!" Varric's voice was cold. I was surprised he could sound like that.

A low growl followed his accusation. "Ran!? I did not run, I know-"

"You know nothing! Arinda continues to ask about you, wondering why you left her. She remembers. My daughter may have been young but she is not stupid and not without reason."

Silence echoes around, I feel as if ants are crawling over my skin. My hands felt cold and numb. 'Would he reject me again?' I question myself.

"Her first hunt you say?" That one question for some reason brought me joy.

I could hear the smile in Varric's voice. "Yes, she is already seven years old. She knows how to hold a bow and is pretty good with it too. She is no master but… I am so proud of my daughter."

My cheeks flush at this statement. Varric and I joke a lot, tease and such but he rarely straight out compliments me. I suppose some might think that is a bad thing, I don't mind. Leaning back in the chair I close my eyes and show a smile.

I hear footsteps and a soft gasp, snapping them open I see Natal looking at me with shock. I can't tell if it is from how old I am or that I have been here the whole time. I regard him carefully. I could see bags under his eyes. He has always been thin so I can't tell much from his built.

Jumping off the chair, I tilt my head at him and blink, my face remaining blank. In truth I don't know how I should feel. Angry? Happy? Sad? Thoughts swirl in my head and I just pushed them away and smiled with a slight edge.

"It is good to see you again Natal." I say. I curse my soft voice. You could barely hear the anger. At least I no longer have such an annoyingly high pitched squeaky voice.

Natal continued to stare intently with bewilderment. Finally he flinches, his onyx eyes flicker away. His hands by his side fidget, I could tell he was nervous. My eyes narrowed and I turned away. "Come on we should leave. Dad already wasted enough time with his stupid smut." I state with a light voice. Pushing the door open, I heard a shout of protest from Varric and a strangled laugh from Natal.

Soon enough, we are on our way into the Planasene forest. As we enter the light begins to fade, some splotches peek through. A smile finds its way on my face as I take in the nature, clean air, and animals. This is when I begin to take action.

Crouching low I look for any signs of animal tracks, preferably ones that aren't carnivores. I see very faint footprints of what might be a Fennec. It didn't look like it was in a group. I continued forward and saw a few more tracks, wild dogs or wolves. Finally I came across some hoof prints, Ram or Deer.

I started following the trail, some prints, and poop. There seemed to be around maybe two or three more. By the size of the prints they were all grown so I won't feel guilty about killing a child's parent that needs them. My eyes were wide as I intently tracked my prey. I paused as the forest felt colder. It also seemed a lot quieter. I glanced behind me and saw dad and Natal watching me. They seemed perfectly fine.

Turning back to my goal, I move through the brush and see a small group of deer. About five or so, two bucks and three doe's. Carefully I watch the group as I grab my bow, I stop every few seconds to make sure they have not heard or got my scent. Grabbing an arrow, I slowly notch it while picking a target. I was no expert. I could hit something the size of a soft ball. I had to take my sweet time though.

I decided to go for one of the bigger doe's. As I aimed for her heart, I saw her look up, ears twitching. 'Has she heard me?' Thinking this I wait. As I waited- I got a feeling of danger. My breath caught and I held it. My hands trembled and sweat. Soon enough, all the Deer lifts their head and glance away from my direction. The bushes over there begin to tremble and something shoots out.

A choked gasp escapes and tears gather in my eyes as one of the Deer are mercilessly cut down. The animal's let out a cry and dart off well the injured animal flops down. Milky eyes watch the animal and the other creatures head tilts and it lets out odd grunting noises and a screech.

"Arinda, what is going on?" I hear Varric say.

The creature snaps its head to me and I can see its leathery face show excitement or hunger. Its skin is pulled from its mouth showing the stained teeth. This should not be possible, they shouldn't be here.

There was no slow motion just adrenaline as the darkspawn shot forward with its crude sword raised. It let a battle screech that turned into a gurgle as my arrow imbedded itself in its throat. The smell followed and I had to swallow the spit forming in my mouth.

"Holy Maker! This… No it can't-" Varric was by me in a second.

I could feel my hands become clammy and I shook. My pale eyes did not leave the dying creature, it twitched and convulsed not yet dead. Black blood leaked out of the wound and was bubbling out of its mouth. It was a Hurlock.

I let out a yelp and jumped back as the darkspawn began to push itself up again. This is when I saw that my arrow barely punctured the pale flesh. Varric quickly pulled me back and Natal shouted as I could see a few more figures immerge. Soon I was running for my life, I could hear hisses and odd dark laughter coming from behind me.

'They shouldn't be here! The Blight should not be happening for years!' I scream in my mind in terror. I knew from reading that darkspawn are hard to kill creatures. The games made it seem way too easy. My legs pumped faster and the fear kept me going even as my whole body ached. Natal was running a few feet in front of us weaving around the trees. I was just following him.

I had to stop short as I screamed when a twisted black arrow flew right into a tree not even an inch from my head. Varric grabbed me and pulled and soon heat followed and I could see a wall of fire a few feet behind us. I turned my head and I noticed Natal holding a staff for the first time.

My head snapped over again as a growl followed and two flaming darkspawn jumped through the wall like it was nothing. I hugged my bow to my chest and trembled. Varric quickly pulled us behind Natal and got his bow ready. I shook and glanced around. It felt as if I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. I could no longer hear but could see dad firing arrow after arrow along with Natal shooting fire and ice spells.

 _'If all else fails just aim and shoot Lotus. Chances are you will hit something'_. I remembered dad's words before my hands found another arrow. Notching it, I turned and aimed, I didn't want to look at them. They were disgusting, almost as if they were melting. I didn't want to hit Varric or Natal though. I aimed at one of the creatures that stumbled out of the flames and let the arrow fly. It hit the shoulder.

Again I did this over and over aiming and firing not trying to kill but do something. My hands trembled but like dad said, 'Don't let fear control you, let it guide you.' At the moment I was more afraid of getting killed and possibly eaten by them.

My hearing finally hit me again and I wished it didn't. I could hear the creatures groaning, screeching, hissing, and screaming. I heard a grunt and saw Natal crouch on his knee and hold his chest. Horror hit me as I saw the arrow sticking out of him. I heard two more thuds and he fell back. Varric yelled his name and ran over crouching. He glanced at me and his face showed terror. That shook me; my father never showed fear.

I understood soon enough as something hit me and I fell over. It was only a dull pain, no sword or arrow. Soon though I felt a rough hand grab my leg and I was being dragged. Screaming, I twisted and could see a Hurlock dragging me. My screaming rose and I turned and saw dad aiming an arrow. I could see the darkspawn closing in on them though. They were going to be killed, eaten and I couldn't handle that.

I felt nauseous and beyond terrified. The feeling was building but all I knew is I have to save them, I have to save them! I let out an inhuman screech and my body burned. I was blinded as something shot from my body and wrapped around Natal and my father before shrinking. It shook before exploding and fire engulfed the creatures. They screamed in what seemed like agony.

The fire was blue, almost white. I felt no heat. It almost felt cold as it rushed over my own body. The hand holding me tightened but soon gave as it too made a loud growl like cry. I crawled forward and turned, I saw it. I watched as the flesh began melting off. It glared harshly, milky eyes showing some form of knowing that I was the one who did this. It reached its clawed hand forward but fell and did not move.

I trembled and my breath shook but I soon pushed myself up and ran over to Varric and Natal while stumbling. Varric's eyes were wide as he looked at me. I fell right at Natal's side and tears fell as I blubbered out but stopped short at the multiple arrows pultruding from his chest.

Everything froze, I crawled forward and began to sob and try and talk. I lay my hand on his chest and the familiar feeling of fullness and the tingling ran down my arms. They glowed green and I flinched away at seeing this. I ignored it soon, I want Natal to live. He can't die!

"Lotus…" Varric broke off his own voice breaking.

I felt a hand on my own and looked down at Natal's pale face. He was smiling, even with the blood dripping out of his mouth.

"I knew… you were special-" The dying elf broke off as he swallowed and licked his lips. "Such a smart girl. Don't be… afraid. Magic… not bad." His voice broke and He coughed. Blood spattered on his chin and some on my face when I leaned forward while gripping his hand.

His other hand trembled as he brought it up and touched my cheek. I could feel how cold he was, I shook so badly I could barely see. My body was numb and I felt weak. The smell of burnt darkspawn made me want to throw up.

"Arinda… you are so… beautiful. Remember love." His voice became whispery soft and he showed me one of his kind smiles. His hand became dead weight and dropped. My eyes widened and I shakily brought my hand forward and touched his cheek. Natal was cold and not moving and cold and dead.

I screamed.

I covered my face ignoring the blood and screamed my lungs out. Soon though I couldn't breathe. Everything was so heavy and my tears were choking me, the air was choking me, my heart was.

"Arinda! Stop, breath!" Varric is holding me.

'I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe I can't breathe! Stop!' Darkness takes me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Beta'd by Lee Totema**

* * *

Slowly fluttering my eyes open I felt an odd sense of wrongness. I could see the world around me was twisted, faded, and green. My head hurt and the air I breathe in felt almost smoky. I sat up quickly when my memories hit; blood, magic, screaming, and death.

Covering my face, I could feel the tears gathering and the world around me felt as if it was trembling. Soon a cool and gentle hand laid itself on my shoulder, a gasp escapes and I turn expecting some grotesque form. I see a familiar face watching me sadly.

"I could feel his life burn away. His emotions and pain, his strongest sense as he passed was regret." Falon'Din whispers. I suck in a breath and turn towards him but he holds his hand up and motions behind him. "I still have a job, we still have one."

Letting my eyes move, I see a form, I freeze and push myself up. I have to force down the happiness of seeing the elf here. I know he is dead, I felt his body turn cold and colder. Understanding what Falon'Din is saying, I wipe my eyes and walk over with a sad smile. "Natal!"

The elf in question looks up still in astonishment. He opens his mouth but no words come out. Walking over, I grab his hand and look up at him. I look into his deep coal eyes, confusion and fear showed. Showing my friend a smile, I turned and, soon enough, the green mist moved and a dark path showed itself. The grass was an almost navy blue but looked soft. Small tiny green and white lights float around dancing around each other.

'The path to death.' I think while shutting my eyes only for a moment. As I open them, I begin to take a step forward. In the corner of my eye, I can see Falon'Din watching. My feet touch the soft grass and it feels as if I can breathe again. Cool air rushes by and my body and soul are no longer tired.

"What?" I turn and see Natal looking around in wonder. His free hand touches his chest and then his dark eyes turn to me. "I-I died…"

"Yes, you did." I state simply.

He drops his hand from his chest. "Why are you here? You didn't-"

"I am alive." My answers were short and simple. I was sad and didn't want him to go. I also did not want Natal to suffer for the living.

"Natal, don't worry. I will be fine, sad but fine. You have others waiting for you." I motion my arm over and indeed I could see the outline of other forms. They looked to be waving the older elf over. "It's time to let it go, let it all go and be happy." I say and walk forward a few more steps. I stop and gently push him forward towards the others.

I can see him staring at the others and walking a few steps. He stops and then turns to me "Arinda, I… I am sorry I-"

Raising my hand I stop him. "I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago… there was really nothing to forgive, I was just lonely." Saying this, I glance away while folding my hands together. Turning back, I smile and see a soft smile on the elf's face. He looks healthy, happier then I have ever seen him.

I see him turn and then just like that the dark path is gone and the green mist surrounds me once more. Clenching my fists, I stare at the ground and turn to Falon'Din. I stare at the tall god and speak. "What was that? I know more have died through the years and I did nothing for them" I hiss out.

"That is because I did. You were too young and too busy. I helped them as their souls passed through the veil…" His voice trailed off as his eyes lingered where the path was. Slowly his gold eyes fell on me. "You are still too young."

Taking a step back, I shake my head in confusion. "What? What do you mean?" As I question him, I glance around. The twisted tree's similar but not the same. Floating objects and a sense of being a dream within a dream. We are in the fade and I am a mage.

"You weren't supposed to come into your magic until you were older. This should not have happened. I had a look around and found why. One of my brethren has found their way into this world too. They seem to know we are here too. It seems we have become a target for their amusement." Falon'Din looked annoyed. The air around us felt hot and I could see the mist changing.

I scowl and tilt my head. "So you are saying that once again… I am being used?" I question angrily.

"This is not the same as what I did. I want to learn so I can grow. She does not care. This is a hunt to her, a game to see how many she can kill and how strong they are. She cares for nothing but her amusement." The tall elf is walking back and forth in front of me. I could see how his eyes grew darker, angrier.

"She?" I question. All this information was hitting me. The sadness was numbing though, for some reason seeing Natal free helped.

Falon'Din stops and turns to me. His eyes are heard and his voice comes out cold. "Andruil."

I stare blankly at the male before growling. "You have to be kidding me!" I begin to storm around. The earth trembles and the air twists. Tree's become talk dark and gnarled.

"So not only am I killed, brought to life, learning to kill, facing darkspawn when I am a child, my best friend dies but no- now I also have a homicidal, egotistical, manic elven goddess after me!?" My voice rises and I glare at the other. This is becoming more and more over whelming and irritating.

I don't even have enough time to properly mourn my friend before shit hits the fan. I can't learn how to grow and fight, because people want to go crazy. Can't this world stay sane for just one fucking year!?

"Stop! You will start calling demons if your mind becomes dark." I am tapped on the head softly. Glaring up at the elf, I huff quietly and cross my arms. Shaking my head I finally calm down enough and see that the fade changed once more. The trees are a soft blue and I can see a large lake in front of me.

"Fine. Going to what you said before. You told me I was too young. What do you mean?" Questioning him, I sit down and run my hands over the bright green grass. It feels like soft fur.

The elf god watches me quietly before he too sits. Getting comfortable he stares across the lake and speaks softly. "This is something I saw happening in the future, I however thought we had more time. Your body is small and weak. I thought that as you grew it would become more accustomed to me and my power. That is not the case."

"What do you mean this is not the case? What is the case?" I shoot out agitated.

"You are dying. You have few years ahead of you, if your body is strong and unyielding you may yet live to be in your teens." I felt cold. He brought me back knowing I would die soon. He brought me back knowing I didn't have long!? Why did he do this!?

"What was the point then?" My voice comes out low and dangerous. Even I am surprised by how I sound. The air turns icy and I am so just angry, so tired, so broken.

The elven god lays his hand on my head and smiles "Da'len. Suledin, telanadas. Sulevin ghilana hanin. Glandival."

Giving him a blank stare, I shake my head. "Don't go all prophecy on me. Just tell me what I have to do." I state simply. I am over people saying pretty words when they want something from me. Pretty words are only good when you are trying to either trick someone or help someone.

"Bond yourself with a creature of great strength. One that can take my power and yet still live. With that my power can pass from you to the other and you will live." Blinking, I stare at Falon'Din with amazement. If this is truly possible then that is actually a terrifying thought.

Glancing down, I let my finger trail across my hand and arm, tracing my veins. I would have to find an animal with great resistance. An animal that is powerful, strong, and that would have some form of magic. Blinking, I groan to myself as only one animal comes to mind. A dragon.

"You must become stronger yourself. I cannot always protect you, I will not. I must see you grow and change. You know the future, it is full of pain. Grow so you can endure and change." The elf whispers and the mist surround my body. I feel heavy once more and all I can think is 'not again!'

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 **Hello my beauties. Now I would like to thank Nanabitez, GloomyMercury98, Tallygirl102, SlytherinChan, and OnitsuBlackfeather for following. I would also like to inform you all I do have chapters already wrote. I am updating every Monday and Thursdays. Reviews will make me feel inclined to update faster so… ;)**

 **The phrase Falon'Din is saying –** **Little one. Endure a little longer. Nothing is absolute. You have a glorious purpose and you must believe.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Divinity1, dkjzzy, Phobopobia, xWhiteMagex, and xenocanaan, are amazing people and this chapter is dedicated to you! I also want to thank everyone so who has commented on this story. It makes my day and I feel very happy when I read how you are all enjoying this story.**

 _ **Also did you all get the new DLC for Dragon Age Inquisition! If not you better!**_

 **Beta'd by Lee Totema**

Fluttering my eyes open, I frown before closing them and rubbing the heel of my palm into my eye socket. I can feel a consistent thump pulsing in my head, almost like my heart was where my brain should be. Keeping my eyes closed, I grimaced as my whole body ached.

Taking a breath in, I lethargically began to push my body into a sitting position. I can feel each muscle protesting. I let out a grunt and whimper before I am finally curl myself in an awkward sitting position. Hearing slight rustling, I peek my eyes open and see Varric pretty much shoot into the room. I am forced into a tight, warm, and slightly sweaty hug.

"My Lotus… Little Lotus…" Varric's voice shifts, it is hoarse and cracks.

Swallowing, I could feel him hugging me, it just felt different. Blinking once more, I still felt tired, my eyes and soul were so tired. Varric pulled away and I could see the concern in his gaze, despite the worry I know I am causing him. Saying 'I am fine' is a lie. I don't know what I should feel or how I should act.

"I… I." I try and start but stop as I don't even know what I am saying.

Varric's hand touches my cheek gently. He caresses it with sad eyes and clears his throat "You have been asleep for two day Lotus. I didn't know what to do." His hands now grab my cheeks firmly and pulled our foreheads together. I could feel his hands trembling.

Everything felt odd though, numbed, like I was under water. I knew though I have caused my father stress, I am not the only one who lost someone close. His hands were cold and I could almost feel the fear radiating from his body. Reaching my hand up, I softly touched his hand, I want to show him I am real.

Pulling away, the dwarf looked at me before stating something I already knew. Still it was something that hit me in the gut. "You are a mage Lotus." My eyes widened and I could feel a sense of hysteria touch me. Covering my eyes, I shook my head, everything is falling apart. My family, my friends, my world is crumbling once again.

"Lotus… Look Lotus" Glancing up Varric took my hand and held my palm over his heart. Smiling gently, the blonde murmurs, "I will not let anyone take you from me, darkspawn, templar, mage, or even the Maker himself. I love you more than life itself, don't doubt that Lotus." His words have power.

The fear I was feeling began to lessen. It did not leave but I wasn't so scared. Sniffling quietly, I rubbed my eyes and nod slowly at him. Even though I knew so much, this body, this mind- it always fed on fear. It was childish but I am a child, I am scared of this world. Thedas is known for its wonders. However people tend to forget that it has wars too.

I heard the wooden floor creak and looked over. Bartrand was leaning against the door frame, his gaze was hard. Sucking in a breath, I clenched my hands into fists. 'What if he sells me to the circle?' I think to myself. Bartrand has never shown me love. I don't think he even cares for me.

My pale eyes stare intently at the older dwarf. "I would like to see them try, they won't ever figure out your ability or be able to find you." Bartrand states simply. I am awestruck by what he has said. I thought he hated me, or at the least didn't care. I could only guess that the surprise shows on my face as he adds. "You aren't as bad as I thought you would be. You have helped me garner more money over the years."

Giggling, I cover my mouth and look down. The happiness I felt still was muted. I was still worrying about telling Arianni, Feynriel and Revas. Ringing my fingers, together I glance up at my family. "W-what about the rest? My friends… I don't want to hide this from them." My voice comes out weak and hesitant.

Varric tenses slightly and I could see Bartrand leaving out of the corner of my eye. Grabbing my hand, the blonde dwarf clears his throat before he begins to speak softly to me. "Arinda- Mages are… they are feared by a lot of people. Many see them as dangerous or cursed."

Flinching back slightly, I can already tell he will be giving me that talk about the dangers of magic. Holding the sigh in, I decided to listen. "Circles towers were created to keep mages safe. More so to keep them separated and watched at all times. I am telling you this so you know that some people will not take well to you having this ability. They may… inform the Templars. You would be taken away, I will not allow that."

Staring intently at my father and frown, "You… You think they would tell?" I had not thought of that. How could I have forgot that friends, family, can turn on you because of this. The fear came back full force, painfully tight.

"If you trust them though… Arinda… To protect you I would go against the world." Varric's whole persona changed, it felt dangerous. It was terrifying and oddly comforting. I have a feeling though that if they became hostile… he would kill them. I don't know how I should feel about this.

Releasing my hand, Varric backs away before grabbing his bow. Pushing myself off the bed, I damn near fall on my face. Catching myself on the bed, I hold myself up as the numbness in my legs begins to fade. They tingle and ache but I can handle this much. Waddling over to the dwarf, I clutch onto the edge of his coat before we make our way out.

Keeping my head down it felt as if the air was colder than it should have been. Following the male I could already see we are heading towards Arianni's house first. I don't think Arianni would kick me out or tell. She tried to help her son- until he became afraid.

I snapped my head up as he knocks on the door. I began to tremble, all of the possible outcomes flashing in my mind. The fear of betrayal hit me and tears were gathering in my eyes. My stomach clenched and I felt like throwing up. My grip on dad's coat tightens as I shook.

"Ah… Master Tethras!"

"I have told you just to call me Varric…" My father gently coaxes me into the house. It actually takes me awhile before I notice I am dripping wet. It has been raining. Arianni pulls me forward and I am taken out of my clothes and find myself in some of Feynriel's clothing. I could see both Arianni and my father were concerned as I was being unresponsive.

"Lotus…" Varric urges softly.

Turning to look at the familiar elf woman, I study her. Her copper hair is pulled into a tight bun and her forest green eyes showed sadness. Her face still looked youthful though. Arianni kneels and touches my shoulder. "What is troubling you Da'len? I know Natal's death has hit you hard." Her voice is careful, soft and gentle.

I stand still as I continued to look at her, someone I have come to trust. She cared for me for many years… 'Would she throw me away in fear?'

Suddenly I felt calm over take me and I let out a breath. "I love you, I love Fey, I love dad, Revas and even uncle Bartrand. Will you accept me too?" softly, I take a step back and watch her reaction.

Quickly she moves forward and reaches out to me "Of course! How could I no-"

"I am a mage." The words flow out smoothly. No shaky voice or broken words. 'I am not afraid, I want her to… no. I hope she can come to accept what I am' Thinking this, I take another step back.

In this moment I saw her freeze. I clench my teeth to keep from reacting. If she doesn't reach out to me by the time I reach the door… then I will break once again.

 _"Don't let fear break you down. Hope for the best even in the worst of times."_ Something echoes in my mind but just as soon as it comes it is gone. The pain in my chest ebbed away again.

Her face was twisted into a pained expression. I can guarantee mine was the same. Another step.

Dropping my gaze I turned.

Hands gripped my shoulders and I was pulled into a thin body. "Ir Abelas. Each of us must endure a hardship. Yours is the hardest of all. May the gods watch you." I can feel her body tremble. I am released and she is walking away. I get a feeling she as accepted me but only just.

I stay standing in the same spot before turning to my dad and nodding determined. Revas is next. Feynriel will have to grow more. He is too young to know what to say and what not to say.

Once outside again, I grip onto fathers hand and can feel my body tense up. I know how the Qunari are, even the Tal'Vashoth see mages as dangerous. Revas has become someone important and irreplaceable to me though. I won't hide this from him.

Feeling the cool rain soak me through once more, I let it numb my anxiety. I trust him though, Revas feels different. No matter what I will still love him to; even if he comes to hate me. I find myself standing in front of the dirty and run down home. Turning to look over, I stare at Varric. His gaze is somber.

Looking back at the house, I feel memories pop up. Revas began teaching me Qunlat, how to write it and speak it. He would cook for me and do so much. I don't want to lose him. Pushing the door open, I walk in "Revas?"

Shuffling is heard before the large man appears. His appearance is dirty and tired. His face splits into a smile and I break. Running to him, I jump up and am caught in the familiar warmth of him. His musk comforts me and I feel safe and calm.

"What is wrong?" His voice shows concern.

Sniffling, I rub my face into his thick brown shirt not caring about the dirt or sweat. My arms barely reach the back of his body and I feel small once again. Taking a breath, I look up through watery eyes. "Revas… I am a mage… I can use magic! Natal! I couldn't save him because they killed him and I tried but they killed him!" I tried to stay calm but the memories were surfacing and everything hurt again, **everything**.

The arms tightened and I felt a shift in the air "Vashedan!" Even though Revas' voice took on a dangerous edge I felt safe. I was shifted to his side like a young child, resting on his hip while he pushed my head to his shoulder. He was glaring at my father.

"Who else knows!?" He snaps out.

The dwarf stares back just as deadly. "Natal is dead, we just told Arianni and she seemed… troubled but she won't tell."

"Your brother… what about him? He seems like he wouldn't mind selling her to the circl-"

"Enough! Bartrand will keep her hidden from as many people as he can. If people keep searching for her for some reason… they won't live to take her away from me." I was shocked, Varric rarely shouted or made threats.

Revas began to walk away and I heard my dad yell but my eyes widened as the Qunari now held a large axe in his hand. How the hell did I miss that hanging from the damn wall?!

Turning, he nods to Varric who seems wary. "They will be cut down… I will not allow her to be caged and bound like a dog!" I could feel his voice. He growled out the statement and bloodlust poured out. I could see in his gold eyes that what he said, he would do and nothing would stop him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hola to all of my beautiful readers. tzu753, and Elementi3197, you are darlings thank you for following. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I wonder if anything of you catch on to what I have done in it.**

 **Beta'd by Lee Totema**

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Holding a large wool bag in my arms, I made my way to Darktown where my friend was waiting. At first I will admit Darktown was scary. That is where I met another friend though, she was born in Antiva. She told me her parents sent her to live with her aunt here because of issues. Her aunt died soon though and now she lives alone.

"Nia! I got the bread" I yell to the teen. Running over, I hold my arms out and show the two large loafs of bread. They were a little bit hard because they were left outside but they should be fine.

"Great! Now that we have that, time to go into Darktown!" Nia says going over to the many entrances towards Darktown through Lowtown. "We don't have much but eh, it should be enough to stave away the hunger slightly. Remember Nina, hold onto that bread tightly. People can be grabby in the best of times."

Giving the teen a blank look, I shake my head. "Yes mother." My voice is sarcastic but I do hold the bread a little tighter and glare darkly at anyone who so much as looks at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Nia touch the daggers on her person when people get to close. I always wanted ask where she got those because they were shaped different than regular knives.

The other girl coughs slightly and I can't blame her. The smell is atrocious, the dirt is scary enough with glass scattered around but also weird black smudges and… 'Is that blood?' I think. I look up when Nia taps my shoulder and she motions her head two a group of people. I could see children, women, and the elderly all gathered together. "Don't worry they wouldn't hurt a soul." I sigh at her as she is always so protective of me.

"We didn't get as much as last time, but here you go" Nia says, grabbing a piece of bread and breaking it off to those that wanted it. My pale eyes follow her movement. She was always so gentle… until you get her angry. Then she is scary.

Awkwardly, I begin to break the bread into nice sized pieces while handing them out. Despite wanting to help, people are not my forte. I head to the children and give them some with a smile. Some of the people thanked us and others shoved the food in their mouth quickly. Seeing how skinny they were and how their flesh seems almost stretched over them- it made me sad.

Glancing over to the tanned teen, I give her a questioning gaze. The bread was almost gone and I don't know what to do. This is the first time I said yes to helping her with this. She said she wanted me to get used to other people.

"May the Maker turn his gaze on both of ye." An elderly woman said, shaking Nia's hand, one of her eyes already gone. I could tell Nia saw how panicked I was. She pats me on the head.

"Don't forget to thank her Nina." Nia states, her accent strong. Uncomfortably bowing to the woman, I hum a reply and look at the ground. When the woman leaves, I slowly stand taller. Sighing, I look at my friend.

"Nia… I don't think I am cut out for helping people." I joke.

"It's ok. A lot of people aren't. Just like the nobles up in Hightown." The dark haired Antivan states while patting my head and leading me back toward Lowtown. "If you have a caring heart, life can be a tragedy because people love too much and too easily. They are selfish and cruel. It's hard to find those that would help without something in return. That's why you need to be better than those people. In this world, ideals like that are hard to find. It might sound naïve, but I believe this world can shine bright if we help others." Her voice is passionate and the sun shines down on her eyes. They flicker from brown to a shiny gold and I can't help but smile.

"I sound hopeless don't I?" Giving me a toothy grin, Nia takes my hand. "Here, something for you. Thanks for helping me today." I feel a small pouch and she pulls away. I already can tell there is money in it. Startled, I look up at her. "The world isn't dark all the time Nina."

Bitterness welled up in my chest as I began to remember. I remembered before everything turned bad, even before everything was good. I remembered my life before, struggling everyday just to survive. It was really the same. I was just more likely to die from a sword here.

"Do you ever wonder what it is like to die?" I ask before I can stop myself. I clench the pouch before shaking my head. Holding my hand out, I give her a sad smile. It always felt oddly cold down in Darktown, even when sweating it felt cold.

"I don't need this. Uncle pays me when I help him. You need it more than me" I inform her. Despite how cheerful she shows herself, I can see the bags under her eyes. Her small body was becoming thinner too. She was the same height as me even though she was fourteen.

Looking at me, I could see she didn't think my question odd. "Of course. Everyone dies someday Nina. Life isn't just about dying." Reaching out, Nia takes the money and puts it away.

"What's the point in worrying all the time when you're going to die? I'll die, maybe I won't be fast enough in Darktown or some Lowtown bandits get me." Shrugging, she continues to move while I follow her. "Maybe I'm used as sacrifice in a blood mage ritual. But everything I do now…" Nia looked at the sky.

"Someone will remember that I was kind. If there are others that can remember me like that, then I think I would have lived a fulfilling life. Would I like to live until I'm old grey and have a bunch of kids and grandkids? Sure! But maybe I won't." Nia shrugs.

Blinking, I continue to listen to her and I am reminded of Sebastian. He always looks for the good in most situations, even if it isn't there. Licking my lips, I dodge through the crowds staying by her side.

"You have to take what life gives you and if you don't like it, grab it by the balls and squeeze them!" Freezing in my steps, I give Nia a stink eye as she laughs manically. She sees the look I give her before giving me a sheepish smile. "Oops, you didn't hear that!" Her tan hand comes up and ruffles my hair.

"Ugh, I told you I don't like being…" Pausing, I stop talking as I see someone. They are short, obviously a dwarf but they seem familiar. Eyes widening, I feel like the breath has been knocked out of me 'That is Bianca!' I could feel my muscles tense tighter and tighter before I shot forward.

"Hey Nina! Where are you going?" I could hear Nia yelling behind me, which soon turned into swearing.

I could hear the Antivan following but I was more focused on the dwarf. The damn crowd was not helping though so I lost her a few times. Finally I am bent over, holding myself up with my knees in front of The Hanged Man. Coughing a few times, I felt a light slap on my back. "What…in the Void… is going on?" Nia rasps out.

Bringing my arm up, I wipe the sweat from my face and stand straight. "I saw someone. She should not be here…" Nia gave me a confused look. Trailing off, I push the door open and I am hit with the smell of bad alcohol. I let out a disgusted snort while making my way in. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Nia following, disgust clear on her face.

"Did she do something bad?" I can hear the curiosity in her voice.

My lips thin as I can't find the dwarf. "Something like that." Murmuring this, I just head towards my room. I pause as I can faintly make out voices. I grab Nia's arm and pull her forward and down the hall past where the room is. Yanking another door open, I let go of the human's arm and go towards the wall. Leaning against, it I find the small hole and begin to listen in.

I can feel dirt falling in my hair and the old wood rubbing against my face. "What are you doing?" I glare at my friend and motion her over. She groans lowly and rolls her eyes before making her way over. When she gets close, I pull her down. She opens her mouth to say something but I shove my hand over it.

Turning my attention back to the wall, I make myself focus on the voices "- what do you expect me to do Bianca? You just prance in here without a hello and ask me to help you?" I hear my fathers' aggravated voice snap out.

"I-I know I am asking a lot…" a female voice stammers out. I feel as if a bucket of ice water was thrown on me. I can hear Nia trying to say something through my hand but I push her away and she lands with a thud on the dirty ground. She glares at me but I ignore it.

"No you don't know what you are asking Bianca. You don't know that after two months of you leaving your father sent assassins after me! Six months after that someone snuck into The Hanged man and tried to poison Bartrand. A year and someone tried to kidnap Arinda!" I cover my mouth as I can hear the rage in his voice.

Silence follows and I shift slightly. I can faintly remember a time when dad become a little overprotective but I didn't know someone was trying to kidnap me. I let out a breath and finally notice that Nia is right next to me with her ear pressed against the wall, straining to hear. Rolling my eyes, I listen again.

"… Varric. I am sorry for what my father has done. I know you must hate him but… I can't let him die. Please help me… I have no one else to turn to. My uncle was already killed by the assassins. Father refuses to do anything." I can hear Bianca's voice break, she sounds like she has been through a lot.

"You know what…" I could hear a long sigh before he continued. "You look tired. Why don't you rest here and we will talk about it later." Hearing this, I can only guess Varric is walking out of the door.

I can hear the floor boards creak. "Varric-"

"Bianca…not now. I need to think." Then a door is shut. I peak through the hole and can see Bianca standing in the room. Standing up swiftly, I turn and almost run into Nia. I stop myself only to fall on my butt. Grunting, I look up at her and see her arms were crossed.

She gives me a look. "Alright Nina, mind telling me what that was?" She points at the wall where the hole is.

"Didn't you hear?" I question while pushing myself up and brushing the dirt off my butt. I squeak loudly and grab her tan arm as she holds the tip of my ear.

"No, you elves have better hearing than us lowly humans remember?" I can hear the amusement in her voice. Finally, I pull her arm away and rub my ear while giving her the stink eye. She sticks her tongue at me. It tingles and I hate when people touch them. She knows this.

Walking around the tan girl, I continue to hold my ear. "Someone from our past is asking for our help. Apparently assassins are going after her family…" I inform her. I rub my ear one last time before pulling the wooden door open and hearing it strain.

Looking around, I don't see dad around so I walk out. "I have a feeling dad will help even though she abandoned us." I whisper out.

"So what do you plan on doing then? Going to try and stop him? Hm?"

"I am not a fool. People act even more stupid when they are in love. I will come along on their little trip so he doesn't get himself killed." I state with an edge. I love my dad but sometimes I also want to hit him on the head multiple times.

Marching forward, I stop as I am pulled back. I whirl around and open my mouth to yell at Nia but pause. She looks concerned. "Nina… you know what they will be doing right?"

My pale eyes search her face. She has always been motherly. Not to just me but the many orphaned children in Kirkwall. She even teaches some of them how to read. I am being taught Antivan. Gently, I hold her cheek with my free hand and show one of my few kind smiles. "Confía en mí hermana. Puedo luchar."

I know that we will be killing people. Despite that I won't care. I will become the bad guy to protect my family and friends. If I must bloody my hands I will, however I will never betray my morals to do it. Slowly, I begin to pull my hand away well my smile fades. I don't take joy in death or killing. I have seen enough death, helped the dead pass on. Each time I kill I can only hope it was a necessity and not a choice.

Nia grabs my hand and frowns "Tengo confianza en ti, pero yo todavía me voy a preocupar." She pulls my hand to her chest over her heart. Giving me a look, she speaks up again. "I will come with you Nina." Nia's brown eyes stare intently at me. There is no room to argue.

Sighing, I shake my head and smirk. "Fine. Let's talk to daddy dearest." I nod to her and we both make our way out of the hall and into the bar part of The Hanged Man. Nia walks in front of me and pushes people away while we make our way to the bar counter. I see familiar blonde hair and a fancy coat.

I gently set my hand on his shoulder, the dwarf jumps and turns to look at me. His hazel eyes watch me for a few moments before he sighs and sets his mug down. "You were listening weren't you Lotus?" He sets his hand over mine before showing a weak smile. "I am a horrible excuse of a father, turning to my daughter." Muttering this, Varric turns in the chair.

"What do you think I should do? I'd like to think I'm a good person but..."

I let out an amused grunt and ruffle his hair. He squawks at me. Pulling away, I put my hands on my hip. "The great Varric Tethras asking his daughter? Perish the thought father- you already know what you want to do..." Grimacing, I continue. "Follow your heart dad. If you don't, you'll regret it forever."

Varric's eyes widen before he turns and slams his head on the counter. I can feel Nia hovering over my shoulder. "Does he always do that?" She whispers.

"... Um... My dad is a little special." I answer back with a shake of my head.

Picking his head back up, the dwarf shows his usual cocky smile. "Wow. I over-complicated that. Thanks Arinda now I will probably be gone for-"

I laugh for a few seconds before giving him a no nonsense look. "I will be coming with you."

"No!" Varric looks startled.

"Uh yes." I argue back with narrowed eyes.

Scowling, the dwarf jumps off the seat while crossing his arms and tries to stand tall with an authoritative air. "Arinda Alma Tethras! Do not argue with me-"

"You should have stayed on the chair old man..." I tilt my head up as I am an inch or two taller than him "Varric Tethras... You have no say in this matter. Whether you leave with or without me, the result will be the same. I will be coming with you. You are an idiot and will end up doing something stupid for her. I refuse to let you die for someone who doesn't care about us!" My voice didn't rise but my words were becoming harder. Nia nods at me encouragingly.

I glared and my face twists showing how angry I am. "Stop treating me like I am stupid! Dad can you look me in the eyes and say you will come back?"

He was shocked and it shows in his body language and face. "Arinda... I promise-"

"No!" Snapping, I lean forward and grab onto his shirt. Nia rests her hand on my shoulder and lightly squeezes. Taking a shuddering breath, I relax slightly and continue. "Promises are meant to be broken dad."

Releasing him, I move back and nod to my friend. Varric looks down and furrows his brows. "Alright. I will be coming then" I say calmer and turn on my heels. I make my way to our room and slam the door open looking for Bianca.

She has jumped from the bed, her short messy copper hair all over the place. I blink as I see that she does indeed look tired. Her skin looks stretched and the dark bags under her eyes show that she has had next to no sleep. The dwarf blinks a few times and then her eyes widen. "Arinda? Is that you?"

I narrow my eyes and look her up and down "Yes." I want to be upfront about my dislike for her. In my eyes she has betrayed us. I am not going to pretend to like her or act like she didn't do something wrong. Crossing my arms, I clear my throat.

"I heard what is going on." I motion with my head and Nia comes next to me. She also crosses her arms. Staring back at Bianca, I give her a hard look. "Nia and I will be coming with you both to help."

She looks alarmed at my statement. "But you both are just children!?"

"Maybe you should push your problems onto other people." I snap back with a cruel smile. Bianca flinches away and brings her hand up to her chest and clenches the fabric of her shirt. I feel a slight sting in my chest but I squish it down.

Turning my head, I address Nia. "Why don't you gather what you will need while I talk to her?"

She nods and turns on her heels. I look back over to the dwarf. She has made her way over to the bed and continues to stare at the ground. Letting out a sigh, I march out and make a glass of water before returning. I hold the glass out to her and order her to drink.

Looking at me weird, Bianca only stares. I flare my nostrils and in a deep voice say it again. Chuckling weakly, she takes the drink and begins to sip. I stand awkwardly while poking the ground with my toe. I begin to draw circles before shaking my head and looking back at her. She is watching me over the mug.

Instantly I frown and start talking. "Can you tell me what is going on?"

Furrowing her brows, she questions me. "What do you mean?"

A low sigh escapes me and I roll my eyes. "You must have some type of idea on who is going after your family…" I narrow my eyes at her.

I can see gears in her head moving as she stares deeply into the cup. Her grip tightens and she finally looks back at me. "Another Merchant guild… I have only two in mind. They are over the top and will do anything to be on top…"

Blinking, I continue to listen as she seems to be thinking aloud. "Though to send assassins… even that seems… No… Mervak would do that. His father recently died and he has taken it over. He is eccentric and brash." Bianca sets the mug on the ground and looks at the ground while muttering other things to herself.

'Great, she has lost it.' I think while throwing my hands up. I walk out and nearly bump into Nia. I close my eyes then open them again. Pointing at her, my mouth drops open.

"What the heck!? How did you get here so fast?" I demand.

Giggling, the dark teen pushes my finger away. "Are you done talking to her?"

I nod and she grabs my arm and pulls me to my room. "We are going to have a sleep over!" Nia laughs while setting her small bag on the ground. Grunting, I glower at the human and her infuriating want to touch all the damn time!

"Nia, Bianca may know who-"

"Nope! No talking about that. For now let's be kids ok?" Hearing her tut at me, I let out an annoyed moan and flop on my bed face first. The silken sheets are soft and inviting.

"Anyways your dad has lots of contacts. He can probably find what we need by tomorrow." Keeping my mouth shut, I just wonder how the hell she knows this about my dad.

"Hah, don't look at me like that Nina. I lived in Antiva. We have spies, assassins, and bards all around. Gathering information is as easy as breathing." She informs me. Turning my head on my bed, I look away before squealing as the damned female jumps on me and starts to tickle me.

Viscously I begin to wiggle around while attempting to hit Nia in the face. She easily moves out of the way before coming back and squeezing my sizes. Letting out an odd choking sound, I flail around some more before shouting. "You asshole! Mother fucker I swear-"

Soon I feel a hard whack on my head and I groan while cradling my head. "Oww! What was that for!?" Peeking over, I see her gaze is between angry and disappointed. I back away slightly with a grimace as that expression is scary.

"You are not allowed to say those words!" She snarls while hitting me again.

"OW! Dang it woman!" I cry out and shield myself. I scoot away and curl my legs up to protect myself. Jesus she is a viscous little woman!

Nai narrows her eyes at me while crossing her arms and looking down at me. My gaze flickers away and I turn my head. "I live in a bar, what do you think would happen. Maybe if you did what I told you and don't do what I don't like I wouldn't be cursing up a storm." I knew I sounded petulant but I couldn't help it.

My ear is roughly squeezed and tears gather in my eyes. Biting my lip, I glare up at her and pout. "I am not gonna stop swearing you buttface. I won't swear in front of you though!" I state.

Nia mulls it over and nods. "I can live with that."

She lets go of my ear and pats my head and flops on the bed next to me. Curling up, I snuggle into the silken sheets and close my eyes. I feel my nose tapped and I open one eye. Nia was looking at me with an odd expression. "Want me to tell you a bed time story?" she questions.

Scrunching my face up, I pause before sluggishly nodding. I rarely heard bedtime stories anymore. Dad tries to go out at night so he can see me more in the day. Nia smiles and begins to pet my head. Closing my eyes once more, I can hear her begin to speak in Antivan. Her words curl and twist, voice smooth and attractive. Soon enough, I am floating on the edge of sleep.

* * *

 **Now I do not own Nia. She is actually an OC made by the amazing and beautiful Lee Totema. If you like Nia you should go check out her story! Thank you for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Part two of Their promise** **. I humbly express my joy in having over forty followers already. Just to let you all know; whenever I get ten new reviews I will be doing a double update because I am grateful for all your support. Whenever I get fifty followers I will also be doing a double update. I wish to show my appreciation to all of you and your support. To you guys, you might be just enjoying reading my story, however you are showing that I indeed can entertain others with my writing! Anyways enough of this sentimentality!**

 _ **A shout out to ElvenQueen1526, Tashie shadow, Readerofmassdragon, ShadowHeart251, and Lynnioa- thank you for following this story. I hope everyone who has followed will continue with me on this journey!**_

 **Beta- Lee Totema**

* * *

Peeking my eye open, I already know that Nia is holding onto me for dear life. I am desperately holding myself back from hitting her. She seems to not care about my whole no touch rule. Squirming around, I manage to detangle myself from her and jump off the bed. It is Bloomingtide (Which would be May) so it is not quite warm but not too cold either.

I wiggle my toes on the ground and shiver slightly, the dirt covering the ground is cold (it is dirt, not wood or anything else). Reaching my arms up, I let out a yawn and feel tears gather, smacking my lips together I rub my stomach while walking over to my dad's room. Pushing the door open, I glance around. Pausing, I narrow my eyes as it seems neither Varric nor Bianca are around.

Tilting my head, I glance out the window and can see that the sun is high. It is not quite noon yet though, around nine or ten. Walking out, a frown finds its way on my face. I spot Norah and make my way over, stepping out of her way as she rushes about. I pipe up as she finally slows down. "Aye, Miss Norah?" She jumps.

"Oh, didn't see ya there little Arinda. What is it ya need?" Norah rushes about while glancing at me. I hear her mutter but know she is very good at multitasking.

"Where is Varric? Also another dwarf woman who goes by the name of Bianca?"

Blinking, the dark haired woman stops, I see her roll her eyes. "Saw those two leave I did. Bright and early, nearly the crack of dawn. They both seemed nervous, like lovers eloping- all packed up too."

A menacing scowl made its way on my face as I turn. "Thanks…" Grunting this, I stomp to my room. I slam my door back open. It cracks against the wall and out of the corner of my eye I can see Nia jump. Rubbing my face, I sigh and begin to gather clothes.

"Freaking idiot, moronic, sniveling cat piss…" Grumbling this, I carefully roll my clothes up and stuff them in my bag. My irritation is ticking rapidly and I want to stab something.

I can see Nia flutter her eyes around, she grunts a few times clearing her throat. Pushing her way to the edge, she dangles her legs over the side of the bed. "What's going on?"

Closing the bag up, I walk over to the cabinet and open it. Where my bow should be, sits a small piece of paper. Baring my teeth I snatch it up and begin to read:

Dear Lotus,

I am sorry we left you but it had to be done. I can't afford to put you in danger. Revas has already agreed to watch you so-

I promptly rip the note into little shreds and stomp furiously on the pieces. Cursing, I bring my hand up and rub my eyes and sigh. "Dad has left earlier with Bianca- in hopes that we don't follow. He has also taken my bow and given it to Revas…" I inform the Antivan.

Watching her brown eyes, I can see her digest the information. Soon a slow grin spreads on her face. Chuckling, she pushes herself off the bed and shakes her head. "Does he honestly think that will stop us?" The tan female rolls her eyes and makes her way over. She ruffles the top of my head. I scowl in return.

"If you have everything packed let's eat and get on our way."

Nia is already at her bag and takes out two medium length daggers, they are dark in color. They look used but still well maintained. "These are my old daggers, made of obsidian. It also has a rune. It is called momentum. I was lucky because it is a hybrid rune. It speeds up your attacks… I am giving these to you."

I am momentarily caught off guard. "… Huh?"

She hands them to me and I can feel that the weight is evenly distributed. I hold it in the reverse grip technique, lowering my stance slightly I twist around. Kicking my left leg up I quickly fix my stance as I feel uneven. These are a little bit heavier then what I am used to, I will need to get used to them. Twisting, I slash upwards with my right arm and pivot on my right foot. Following through, I twirl around and bring my leg up as if I am going to kick something. I finish off and bring my foot to the ground.

"Not bad, you're a little shaky though. You just need to get used to the knives Nina… I hope you don't have to use them to be honest." Nia states. I am surprised as in her hands she has two plates with a chunk of bread and cheese on both of them.

Standing up straight, I give her a face. "I know I know Nina. I just wish…" She lets out a frustrated grunt. Walking over, she sets them on the small table in the room. Making her way to me, the teen adjust my grip so I am holding the handle a little closer to the bladed part.

"It will be easier to maneuver around." Nia informs me.

I test the grip and nod. Setting them down, I grab the one of the bread pieces and eat. Nia is doing the same. We both remain in a solemn silence. My father does not understand what he has done. He has broken some of the trust I gave him.

We both finish the bread and cheese. We change into some light clothes, grab our bags, weapons, and make our way out. My daggers are strapped to my back, Nia's are strapped to her waist. They are different than regular daggers. They are pretty much brass knuckles with daggers attached.

Squinting, I can already tell today's weather will be very good "So… what do you know Nia?"

"What do you think I know?" The teen shoots back with a giggle.

I smile sweetly. "You know if you don't answer I will kick your… butt. Literally" Pausing as I can't swear, my smile turns into a smirk.

"Ugh… Nina you are so mean. Well…" As she trails off, she takes a piece of paper out of her pocket. "Bianca is correct in assuming that Mervak is the one who sent assassins. What is interesting is there seems to be infighting. Almost seventy percent of the guild just wants to sell their wares and get on with life." Nia stuffs the paper back in her pocket and continues to watch those around us.

Tilting my head, I see we are heading towards Darktown. "My contacts will know exactly where Mervak is hiding. With luck we will run into your dad and lady friend on the way." Nia jokes while resting her hand on her dagger.

As we move through the town I can see some people glancing at us. They quickly look away though, my eyes travel around and I see someone standing around and waving people over. He is a human with short brown hair.

"Nina… Wait here." By the time I look over, I see Nia walking over to a corner where some people are gathering. Turning my attention, back to the man I slowly inch forward. "Information on Kollen Marsh for sell. I know he has conned a lot of people…"

Blinking, I pause confused. Finally I finish walking and look up at him. He stops talking and looks down at me with a raised brow. I can see his eyes are a bright blue, almost white. Crouching, the man smirks at me. "What da ya want girl?"

"What are you doing?" I question.

He tilts his head at me. "Offerin' people my wares."

"You sell information then?" I remember someone else used to do this. The male's eyes twinkle and his lips pull up higher.

"Right you are girly. Is there something yer hopin to know about?" Saying this, the dark haired male rests his hand on my head. I quickly flick it off and snarl at him. The human giggles at me and raises his hands in a 'surrender' pose.

"It depends on how much I would have to pay." Snapping this I cross my arms and stare up at him.

He giggles again. "Call me Kurt. Yer a cutie ain't cha? Now, now, it depends on who ya askin' for and how much I give." I squint at the male as I think his head is broke.

"Varric Tethras' whereabouts."

Kurt cocks his head to the side and lets out a snort. "Ah, that will be free. More for my entertainment. He and his little love bird were headed towards Ostwick it seems." Narrowing my eyes at him, I crossed my arms.

"Really? Free?" I raise my brow. "What sort of entertainment do you get out of it?"

"I can blackmail him about his daughter using contacts to track him down… it'd be pretty funny." Snorting again, Kurt pats my head again and I attempt to bite him this time. "Feisty huh? Still cute." The older human winks at me and I feel my soul shrivel up. Turning on my heels, I quickly walk back to where I was standing before in time to see Nia heading my way.

"Nina! I know where they are going! They are going-"

"They are making their way to Ostwick I know." Finishing her sentence, I grab her arm and begin to pull her. Nia's eyes widen and her mouth drops open. Shaking my head, I chuckle and continue to drag her out of the city.

"How do you know?"

"I have my ways… creepy perverted contact ways…" Saying this, I feel a shiver rack itself up my body again. This is why I hate people, creepy, perverted, and stupid people. Too bad I didn't ask who he works for. It is doubtful that he works by himself.

Walking out of Kirkwall, both of us stayed in the woods. Highway men and bandits like to ambush on the paths or edge of the woods. Luckily enough, Nia had a huge world map with her. I am beyond surprised at the detail. "Neat huh? With the help of my contacts, they send maps and little tidbits of information I know pretty much the whole world." She preens. I roll my eyes at her and focus my attention on the map.

Pointing my finger at Kirkwall, I trace my finger on a path to Ostwick. "So they are anywhere from here to here… Well that narrows our search parameters down." My voice is sarcastic. Another problem is we only know they are heading towards Ostwick, not if they actually are. Nia gently pats me on the back. I turn to look at her and she grins at me with a wink.

"Calm down Nina. I have some others wandering about, if they see anyone fitting their description I will be informed."

I can't help but worry about dad. Rubbing my face a few times and I let my thoughts settle. "Okay, sorry. You know that I am a pessimist though, Nia. That will not change anytime soon." The Antivan chuckles and mutters some phrases. Sitting back, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can smell the grass, dirt and trees. The soft scent of nature and animals, being in the woods makes you feel cut off from the world. Everything flows in slow motion.

Fluttering my eyes open, I turn to Nia and show a smile. "Alright let's get moving, with luck we might get a ram or rabbit on our way today for dinner."

Cracking a smile back, she nods and we set off once more.

Truly I love the forest, the smells, how it feels like another world, what I don't like is…"Fuck!" Tripping in a hole and faceplanting. Again. Pushing myself up, I glare darkly at the bronze skinned teen as she laughs uproariously at me. I tend to forget that forests may not be deadly rattled with killer animals all the time. They do have slopes and random holes- that my foot seems to find all the damn time.

Dusting myself off, I shake my head and scowl while glancing up. The sun is beginning to fall towards the west. It is already becoming evening. We have yet to run into bandits, animals or receive a letter about dad. I find that we are not doing too bad to be honest. We aren't dead or dying so I think today is productive.

My pearl eyes look over to my friend and I speak up. "It is probably around six. Shall we set up camp or keep moving?" Nia crosses her arms and lets her eyes roam about. Humming, she nods. She waves her hand and I follow. We move for only about ten more minutes and stop.

The place we stop is undistinguishable with no clearing. I can see a rather large tree with a huge crack. Making my way over, I see that is a lot bigger than I thought. I can almost walk into the hole. I have to crouch a little. Resting my hand on the bark, I slowly scurry in. It is surprisingly roomy. "Nia, we could both sleep in here. We wouldn't have to worry about one of us staying up to keep watch."

She lets out a noise and struts over, leaning forward she pushes her head in. A short laugh escapes her. "Wow isn't this nifty? Yeah this should be good. If we want to catch up to Varric we both want to be awake and alert." Tapping her hand on the bark she looks back at me. "Now we should see if we can catch anything."

Pulling myself out of the tree, I stretch and pause. "Wait… neither of us have a bow, how are we going to catch anything?" I question her.

Reaching into her bag, Nia pulls out some jerky. "For now I packed a few pieces of dried meat. I will set out some traps."

"Ah. Alright." I follow the girl and watch as she sets up two rope traps and one metal foot trap. I wince slightly at the metal trap, most animals don't die instantly. It must be painful.

Walking back to our camp, I can see it is already getting dark. The feel of the forest becomes a little more ominous. Both Nia and I finish our jerky and squish ourselves into the hollow trunk. I quickly close my eyes and calm my breathing. It is something I learned from a scroll for learning magic. It is to help with controlling your will.

* * *

The day started earlier and I could feel how the grass is still wet with dew. Wiggling my toes, I grimace as I can tell my feet will be covered in dirt. "Ughh- It is cold and wet!"

"… What is with you elves and no shoes? Is it some fashion sense?" Nia questions me as we both walk through the woods. As we moved further the forest grew thinner.

"No, it is easier to move and… feel things. It is difficult to explain."

"Well that made as much sense as… nothing." I roll my eyes at Nia. She in return snorts while shaking her head and continues moving. I tilt my head slightly as I can pick up some slight rustling and light footsteps. It was further off.

I shift to look at Nia and motion my head over. The teen narrows her eyes and nods. Both of us crouch lower with our hands ready to retrieve our weapons. Voices are heard but I am not close enough to pick them apart. As we get closer I can now tell that they both are walking rather loud and arguing. A malicious smirk makes its way on my face as I recognize the voices.

Straightening myself, I saunter my way over and push past the brush. Crossing my arms, I lean against a tree with an emotionless face. I was not in the mood for jokes or some stupid sacrificial speech. What he did I will not forgive- at least not for a while. The bark dug into my back and stung slightly. It was helping me from letting my anger and frustration showing.

I felt slight pressure against my shoulder and knew Nia will be there for me. Taking a deep breath, I held it for a few seconds and let it out just as Varric and Bianca stumbled through a brush. Face hardening, I let my lip twitch slightly, showing my displeasure just so.

It did not take long for the two dwarves to notice us, even though their mouths hung open. Eyes bugged and their whole body showing shock. I am not moved, amused, or any other emotion. Father opens his mouth but I beat him to the punch.

"What the _fuck_ were you thinking?!" Growling this out, I tilt my head down while staring with intense disappointment at both. I only left a few seconds of silence before I continued. "Evidently you were not thinking Varric or you would not have abandoned me nor betrayed your own word. How senseless can you be?" Pushing away from the tree, I made my way over towards the blonde with sure steps.

I could see and feel the air around me begin to warm. Clenching my fist, I took another deep breath and stop just in front of him and glower. He needs to know what he has done. "You have raised me for a while Varric, did you honestly believe I would sit like a good little girl while you frolic around with her?"

Furrowing my brows, I truly want to know what he has going on in his head at the moment. "I-" He opens and closes his mouth a few times. Looking away the blonde dwarf stays silent. I turn my sharp gaze to Bianca, taking in her expression.

Licking my lips I give her a look. "You seem to have something to say. Just speak!"

"We both agreed that you shouldn't come… I thought it would be better."

"Why? So that you won't feel as bad if it is just him dying? Or because you know he would risk his life for you if I am not there?" Snarling this out, I take a step towards her. My nails by now were creating small crescent marks in my palm.

Flinching away, Bianca takes a step back. A hand grabs my arm and pulls me back. "Enough Arinda!" Baring my teeth, I twist around and let out a roar. My wrath is shown when I let out another growl and the heat came from my body. It curls from my core to my arms, legs, hands and feet. Quickly I push Varric away and get barely a step back when the angry red flames spark around my body.

Crying out, I drop to the ground and hug myself so tightly. Digging my nails into my arm, I scratch harshly against my flesh. 'No, I will not let this control me!' I chant this in my head while staring blankly at the ground. Tears gather in my eyes and the soft green grass blurs as they fall. 'I am so angry, so sad, I don't want to be alone!' The tears pick up and fall faster.

Sniffling, I can feel the heat lowering quickly as the sadness takes over. Glaring through watery eyes, I can just make out Varric's form. I am denying it, pushing anger before my childish feelings. Voice breaking I speak up. "Why!? You just left me, what if you didn't come back! I don't want you to die like Natal! **Please don't leave me! DON'T DIE!** " Sobs leave my body and my whole form shakes.

Covering my face, I just scream and cry this fear will never leave me. I was always abandoned, even in my old life, always alone, never enough. I am pulled roughly into a chest and being shushed gently. "Shh, I am sorry. Arinda I am so sorry, daddy loves you so much. I am sorry."

Reaching up, I shove my face into his shoulder and dig my fingers into his coat and cry. I don't care if everyone sees me. I don't want to act tough right now. I just want my dad.

He slowly begins to rock us and continues to murmur. "I love you more than anything. You're still a child, I forget that sometimes."

"You… stupid jerk." Hiccupping I rub my face deeper into the nape of his neck.

"Ew! Don't rub your snot on me!" Varric softly squeezing his fingers into my side as he says this in an over dramatic way.

I can't help the choked giggle that escapes, clenching tighter I rub my nose on his neck again. My tears are slowly and I don't feel the magic bubbling throughout my body. I am still trembling and still scared, better though.

* * *

There was more yelling and I almost had to throw a fireball at my dad but now we are all on our way to Mervak's place. Apparently he actually bought a permanent home for himself, which is very stupid. I guess I can count our stars lucky because we actually weren't that far from the camp and home.

The ass makes his men camp outside his house. It looks more like they are meat shields. We would have a lot of people to go through. It would be true if we were amateurs, all four of us are rogues (Rogue mage but eh.) Sneaking is our specialty.

Varric and I stay further back as I have magic and he has the crossbow. Nia has her daggers and Bianca is with her at a distance ready with her own bow. It is just turning to evening, the sky is a pretty pink color and the air is cool.

My face feels disgusting from crying and I am trying my best to forget it. No, I am not. I just felt shame. I put myself and others in danger. I know mages can become dangerous if they become emotional and yet I still bottle all of my emotions up until they explode.

Swallowing, my pale eyes flicker around and I crouch as an older dwarf walks by the bush Varric and I are hiding in. Dad tilts his head and we wait a few seconds as the other man passes. Moving as quietly as possible we both make our way behind the small wood house.

This is where Bianca and Nia should be meeting us after they kill Mervak. Sniffing the air, I smell an odd scent. It seems familiar, like spices. Licking my lips I can taste it. My mind feels pain like I forgot something, I know this smell.

My eyes shoot open and I vault with grace over the bush and painfully smash through the glass window. Tucking into a roll, I feel scratches and glass digging into my body but I ignore it. Varric yells in the background. I bellow as I rush towards a surprised Nia and Bianca "Get down!"

'It is a bomb, the dwarf has a fucking bomb! Only Qunari should have a mixture such as this!' My mind is whirling frantically but everything seems slow. I somehow make it to the two females as an almost nonexistent squealing sound it heard. Breath catching, I shoot my arms out and just scream in my mind 'I need to protect them! I need to protect them!'

Closing my eyes I picture a bubble, and think of strong, durable, yet flexible. The bubble grows in my mind and wraps it around me. I can feel my whole body burn as I am forcible pulling the magic. Snapping my eyes open, I can see a soft blue energy beginning to flicker into existence. Fear grips my chest as I can actually see a few large metal balls turn red and crack.

I let out an odd sound and the barrier snaps solid just as a loud sound cracks around us and agony shakes my insides. Everything is ringing and when I open my eyes I can't hear but I can see Nia crouched over me. Her teeth are barred in an enraged way.

The Antivan's gaze meets mine and concern shows through. I finally notice that I am on the ground and we are outside. My ears can only make out a high-pitched screech, bringing my hand up I only manage to smack myself in the face as I feel sluggish.

"… ina! Nina! Are you okay? Can you hear me?!" Shaking my head, I look back at Nia and see she is staring at me.

I manage an odd groaning noise but finally can answer. "What happened?"

My body is pushed up gently and Nia taps my cheeks with a frown. "You managed to protect us from the blast, it was quick though. The barrier took most of the damage and shattered. You were down instantly, Bianca and I got you out of the building and…" This is when I look around.

We are surrounded by many dwarfs holding weapons, even some elves and human. I can see most are actually wary of us. I try to quickly get up but my moves are erratic. Nia helps me up though and soon enough I am standing.

I can hear some whispering about me being a mage. Also how did Mervak manage to anger a mage?

Cursing is heard and people are pushed out of the way. A young and surprisingly beardless dwarf makes his way in front. Dark and angry eyes glare at us. "You should be dead! How are you alive!?" he cries out.

There are no words that can describe anyone's surprise as a familiar twang sound is heard and a metal bolt is now poking out of the dark haired dwarfs' chest. He sputters in shock, blood beginning to trail out of his mouth. He falls forward and a nauseating ripping sound is heard as the arrow finishes pushing its way through his body as he lands on it.

"Varric!" Bianca shrieks.

Both me and Nia let out a snort that we don't even attempt to cover. Varric has the most innocent face he can muster well holding the crossbow behind him.

This is when everything breaks into chaos, luckily words not weapons. I let out a breath as I feel fatigue grip me. Closing my eyes I try to calm myself, make my body get over it. That does not happen.

Eyes snapping open, I find myself being carried on Nia's back. Shock hits me and I look around. Bianca and Varric are both in front of us walking and talking. I sputter a few times and wiggle around. Nia sets me down and gives me a concerned look.

"Are you okay Nina? I didn't know you are a mage but if you use too much magic at a time it can hurt you." Her voice shows just how much she was worrying. I reach a hand up and scratch at my head while thinking. I can feel ash and other things dirtying my hair. It is full of tangles and probably looks gross.

"Wait, what happened?"

Giggling she gives me a sly look. "You fainted."

Mouth dropping open I squeak and I feel horrified. I seriously fainted!? I hear chuckling and see Varric and Bianca looking at us with amusement. I cover my face as I feel heat crawl up my neck and cheeks, only peeking through my fingers when I hear someone making their way to me. Varric rests his hand on my shoulder and looks at me.

I can see his gaze is serious, tired, but relieved. He shows a smile. "I was worried Lotus, but… I know you're strong. You protected Nia and Bianca- while also making sure you came out yourself. I am sorry for causing you to worry. I now know what I did wrong." The blonde dwarf pulls my hands down and cups my cheeks. He leans in and rests his forehead against mine while sighing.

"A selfish person ignores those in need. A coward will run away, either by leaving or giving their lives up for someone else. A truly strong person will protect those they care about… and keep themselves alive. You opened my eyes Lotus. I would have gladly given my life up for Bianca…" He swallows and I glance at the auburn haired dwarf. She is biting her lip while looking away.

I can feel Varric wiping my tears as they fall. "But if I did that… It is the same as abandoning you. You my dear daughter, my little baby girl I love more than the world. I am sorry for causing you pain, I am sorry for betraying your trust. Please… forgive this stupid old man of yours?" Reaching up I cover both of his hands with my smaller ones.

"You stupid old man, I will always forgive you. You're my daddy!" It's true. He has done so much for me. I stare deeply into his hazel eyes and can see they are moist. Pushing past the tears I grin at him showing him that yes, I love him too, more than anything, more than my life.

This is when we both make a face because I can hear sniffling. Turning our heads, we can see Nia wiping her eyes. I give her a blank look. "Seriously? You're crying?"

"But… It's just so moving!" She cries out. She then starts speaking quickly and in a wobbly voice in Antivan. I only catch a few words. "Family- cute- squee- adorable."

"… You have ruined it!" I state in a deep voice and pull away from Varric. The dwarf lets out a loud laugh and ruffles my hair.

"Well… I thank you all. I have pushed my own problems onto you and created some. I am sorry, but thank you. My family is safe." We all turn our attention to Bianca. I tilt my head and see her walk closer to Varric, she smiles. It is a terrifying smile, a smile of true love.

She rests her hand on his cheek. "Keep safe Varric." He clears his throat. I glance at Nia and both of us wince. We can feel the awkward tension in the air.

"This is an amazing weapon Bianca here-"

"No Varric, keep it." Bianca pushes the sleek bow back.

"But…" I can see confusion show in my father's gaze.

She shows a small smile. "I-I… I can't do much for you. I never really have. So I have made this. It's aim is perfect, quickly reload and release. It will keep you alive, please stay alive Varric." Her voice drops to show deep terror at the thought of him dying.

Guilt clenches my chest. I know I have said cruel things to her. I am a selfish person seeing only myself. Gripping my shirt, I look down ashamed. I know Bianca loves my father. She can't stay. If she tried he would have been killed.

"I will stay alive. This is not a promise, not a cheap trick… I need to see you in a few years to fix her up though." Varric says softly.

"Then until next time Varric Tethras." This is when I feel a soft hand touch under my chin. My head is pulled up enough to see soft green eyes. Bianca shows no anger, or hatred. I feel a wait in my hand and look down. I see oddly shaped blades. They look close to Nia's but different.

"I hope these can save your life too… Keep safe Arinda, protect your dad." Whispering this, the dwarf turns and is off before my mind can fully process what has happened.


	15. Chapter 15

**Alrighty! We are soo close to the beginning of DAO. Can you guys taste it? I sure can. Well I hope I am showing you both the complexity of the DA world (or the best I can) the characters personalities and the reasons they are- the way they are. Now it seems I must make another request as everyone seems to be ignoring it (more of a simple one.) Send me a riddle with an answer, also a dark poem that would fit in with this world. I will give you a shout out.**

 **IMPORTANT A/N~**

 **Now I must first apologize for taking a super long time to post this chapter. Good news and bad news. The bad news is that it will take a super long time for the next chapter again. At the moment I am writing chapter summaries so I have a general idea of what I want to do for each chapter; that means I won't have to stare at my computer screen for hours like an idiot. That also mixes in with the good news, once I finish all of my chapter summaries (ALL OF THEM) I will be able to write my chapters a lot faster and more frequent. Now as I said 'all of them.'**

 **At the moment I have all of Dragonborne's chapters done. I have Legendborne's chapters done (that will be my second story. Also it is about 30% original and revolves around the dragon age comic) I am currently working on Bloodborne which is in DA2. I am about 1/3 done with those summaries. Next I will be working on Deadborne which is of course in DAI. Also I will be taking a whole month break between each book. I am hoping that by the time I am posting on DA2 maybe some news about the new Dragon Age will be out!? Lol I know probably too good to be true. Well I hope at least a few of you read through this; that means you won't be confused!**

 **Beta'd by Lee Totema**

"Ripped from my mother's womb, beaten and burned. I become a blood thirsty killer, what am I?" A rough voice grates out.

Humming, I stare at the discolored grass. It looks awkward, sharp, smooshed and smooth. Bringing my gaze up, I stare into the glowing eyes of my friend Natsu. Its large body looks comical sitting next me in the fade. Rubbing my lips a few times, I look around the area.

"Iron ore." I answer. The land surrounding us is rather plain to me. That is not saying much though, to Natsu it is odd and dare I say magical.

Grunting, the Pride demon crosses its arms and looks away. "Don't be a sore loser Natsu. I didn't even agree to let you in my body. This is for our amusement, not a contract." I honestly can't remember how many times I have had this conversation. It has become a routine of sorts.

Taking a breath, I can see a deep green mountain far away. There are floating rocks hovering around it, circling the large mass as if it is a planet. Turning my attention to the dark scale covered creature, I can see anger in their eyes.

Rolling my eyes, I push myself up and dust my hands off along with my bum. A short chuckle escapes "Stop it. Pouting does not become you. Natsu, why don't we take a walk?" I offer while crossing my arms. I raise a brow as it turns its head away.

"Fine, I am not going to fight with you, nor am I going to challenge or accept a challenge to satisfy your selfishness." Saying this, I turn on my heels and walk away while mumbling how childish some pride demons can be. Circle's and Templar's do the whole terror and taking over bodies but I know a few demons who are more… human than humans. (The saying not the species.)

As I walked on, I could feel the grass under my toes. It's cold and wet. My pale eyes glanced around the area and I could see some wisps dancing around. As they bobbed up and down, I let a smile show. I have talked to them before. They couldn't really answer in a sense but you could feel what they were thinking. Quite like a child, they are curious and always want to help if they can.

I felt a slight nudge and turn my head. I see a light green blob. I giggle as it nudges my cheek once more and I can almost hear its question. Gently I push it away and show a smile. "I am fine, just a little bored." Saying this I glance around once more.

I remember one time when I was in the fade I manifested very close to the Black City. Now I don't know what I believe with the history and theories. All I know is that place felt dirty and I was scared. It was odd as I didn't really feel scared but terror was eating me up until I walked very far away from the place.

Two more green glowing blobs slam into my face and I find myself on the ground. Letting out a grunt, I push the wisps away and give them a not impressed face. Amusement was radiating from them and all I could do was shake my head. Standing up again, I look at them while crossing my arms. "Alright what do you want to do little trouble makers?" Instantly they began to crowd in my face. The ideas were mixed up but I could understand what they wanted.

"Really? Hide and seek… again?" I probe while rolling my eyes. About two years ago I introduced some wisps to it. I don't know how but the whole wisps community learned about it the next day. All in all it was a rather funny thing to be bombarded by a huge glowing mass of vibrating creatures.

The wisps jumped up and down. Finally I sigh while relenting. "Alright, alright, you win. Why don't you both gather some more friends? It is always fun with more… uh creatures playing." Immediately they take off and I glance around. Closing my eyes, I began to picture a building with rooms to hide in and different floors. The smell of the stale air, the color and feel of the walls and floors, wiggling my toes I opened my eyes.

A smile spread on my face as I saw a two story concrete building. I remember a building that I use to go to when I wanted absolute silence when I had to study. I hear a bit of noise and turn around, my eyes twitch slightly as I see a small heard of wisps. I can actually see some other creatures more so like wisp wraiths. They have a whole upper body see through but you could see the faint outline of bones. They were different colors.

This will be perfect place to play hide and see. There are many places that one could hide. The only problem is that the little wisps glow in the dark so it is easy to find them in the dark. Taking a breath, I think of bright fires, a light that shows everything. Once more I can see what I thought and felt have manifested. Turning, I can see a bunch of the wisps along with a few other spirits waiting to play. A smile splits my face.

* * *

Opening my pale eyes, I stare up at the dirty wood ceiling for a few moments and mumble. "It's time..." Pushing myself up, I crack my neck. Stretching my arms up, I can feel the cold air wrap around my small body but ignore it. Looking out the small window, I can see that it is just beginning to turn to dawn yet it was still dark. Quietly, I pushed myself to the edge of the bed and set my feet on the ground. Living here for twelve years I knew which spots would make noise. I avoid them with ease and walk over to my table.

Pulling the plain brown long sleeve shirt on along with my plain dark red pants, I walk back over to my bed and crouch. Reaching under it, I pull the bag I packed and set it atop my bed. Pausing, I stare at nothing as the weight of what I am doing falls on me.

I am leaving my friends and family without telling them. I could lie and say I don't want to get them involved. I am a coward running away. I don't want them to know what I am. Fear ran through my veins thinking of how they will react when they find I am gone. Shakily I pull the letters out from under my pillow. The letters I wrote to each of my friends and family. It explained the bare minimum, along with a lie of sorts. 'I am cursed and if I don't do something in Fereldan I will die.'

Closing my eyes, I take a few breathes and let them out calming myself. Still my hands were shaking as I set each letter on my bed showing the names wrote on the back for each person. Dad, Uncle, Revas, Nia, Arianni, and Feynriel. I wrote some info and told Feynriel where my magic books were, the elf hasn't come into his magic yet but he will soon.

Turning, I grab both of the daggers Nia gave to me and strap them to my hips. Finally I grab the pouch of money I had. I put twenty sovereigns along with fifty silvers in the pouch. Shoving it into my shirt, I nod and pull the pack on my back. Turning on my heels, I quickly and quietly scurry out of the room. My heart beats rapidly. I feel like I am going to throw up. Glancing around, I can faintly hear my father's light snores through his closed door. Once more my heart clenches painfully. Shaking it off, I walk out. Some patrons were still dallying about, drinking and laughing.

Grounding my teeth together, I lower my head and quickly start to maneuver around the tavern. I heard some people calling out to me. I merely nod to them and hurry out the door. Making it outside, I quickly go to the docks and fidget. I can see some people walking around carrying heavy things. Quickly, I grab my pouch and pull out four sovereigns before putting it away. Glancing up at the people and ship, I can already tell it is a pirate's ship. I do remember them coming into The Hanged man a few times. They kept to themselves and were never overly obnoxious. They didn't raid anyone here or try to force themselves onto any of the barmaids.

Reaching my hand up ,I didn't hesitate to poke one of the sailor's sides. Instantly they looked down at me. For a few seconds, both of us looked at each other. Finally the man spoke up, "What da ya want girl?" His voice was deeper. I could see even now for a human he was taller and more masculine then most. I brought my hand up and showed him my money. Only a peek though.

Pulling my hand to my chest with the money, I spoke up. "I want a ride to… Amaranthine." Saying this, I make sure to keep my voice as steady as I can. The male narrows his eyes and stares for a few more seconds before motioning with his head to a sack. "Help out and I'll talk to Cap'n."

I pause and my eyes widen before I see him already walking away. I let out a noise and quickly shove the money in my shirt and grab the sack. Scrunching up my nose, I already can tell that there are fish in this sack. Making a face, I hoist the bag onto my shoulder and quickly follow after the male. It is an odd process that I don't question. We set the sacks down. The sailor picked up a paper and then wrote something before turning and walking back off the boat.

We do this a few more times before I figure out that he is checking things off of a list. I, for some reason, did not think people did it. Such a simple act and most people don't do it. After a good thirty minutes of working, I am handed a water skin. Letting a breath out, I shrug and take a sip well handing it back with a simple 'Thank you' and bring my shirt up to wipe my face.

"Come on." I turn my head and see the guy walking away. Holding in a grunt, I jog up to him and walk back onto the boat. Now as I am actually looking around, I can see some curious fellows glancing at me. Others seem not care either way. Shuffling closer, my face ran into something hard and I back peddled while rubbing my nose. Looking up, I saw I actually ran into the guy's side.

"Names Ross. Cap'n is Cap'n, nothing else. Show manners and ye will be returned in kind." Saying this roughly the man opened the door and softly pushed me in. I stumble a little before righting myself. Quickly I gaze up and puff my cheeks out to stop myself from saying anything stupid.

Icy blue eyes gazed at me calmly well a pale hand gently set down their quill. The male looked to be in his early twenties, standing up his sharp gaze turned to Ross. "Who is she?" His voice held no malice. Ross shrugs behind me and for some reason lays his hand on my head. The nerve.

"Kid wants'a ride to Amaranthine. Offerin' money. She helped. Didn't complain so I came ta ya." As the beefy man says this, he moves around me and leans on one of the walls. His dark brown eyes glance from me to his captain.

The blondes eyes went back to me, his eyes now focus more intently on me. He pushes himself away from the desk and turns more towards me. His eyes flicker over briefly to Ross before stopping on me once more. "How much are you paying girl?" As he says this, he crosses his leg. His whole aura gave off a feeling of sophistication, which is rather odd seeing as he is a pirate.

"I am not going over four sovereigns." As I say this I cross my arms and tilt my head slightly. I am not going to be rude but I am not going to fall on my knees in awe. I will not allow others to walk over me even though I am rather young. This world is cruel. Age and gender half the time don't really matter. Reaching once more for my pouch, I grab the money and hold them between my fingers to show that I indeed do have the money.

I could see the Captains mouth twitch slightly into a smirk. He seems oddly amused which I find rather amusing in its own way. A soft laugh left him. "Where did you obtain this money?"

"My job." My answer is in a no nonsense tone. He thinks I stole it or at worst I sold myself. Either way this money is rightfully mine. I refuse to argue about it with this man if he starts something. I can only guess that he sees something in my eyes as he nods briefly.

"Alright girl. Pull your weight and there will be no issue. Fail to do so and we will throw you over board." With that, he gave an enchanting smile to me while standing. As he walks over, I could see that he was built well, neither frail nor too buff. His hand reaches forward and I had to stop myself from pulling my hand back as he snatches the money from my hand. (Luckily not the pouch or I would have gone into a rampage.)

He begins to somehow flip the coins over his knuckles while turning. I am grabbed lightly and pulled out while the door slams in my face. Making an odd noise, I turn my head and look at the other in bewilderment. This ship felt odd, strict and mannerly. However a lingering feeling of roughness was around. Again Ross takes my arm and starts to guide me around. "Now we have few rules; pull your weight, don't start fights or you're on latrine duty- you can defend yourself though. Do not backtalk and be ready to defend yourself if another ship attacks. We watch each other's backs."

My eyes swiftly move around taking in everything that is happening on the deck. I can see a few of them mopping, rubbing the railing with a cloth, watching the sails, and even some playing cards atop a small crate. A breath quickly left as I felt the boat roll and saw that we were already sailing away from Kirkwall. My eyes began to sting and my chest tightens. Walking over to the railing, I gently grip it. Rough cool wood greats my palms as I stare at my home getting further away.

A firm hand lay on my shoulder and squeezes. "Leavin' for the first time is always hard. I don't know 'er care for the reason… but I can see that this is somethin' important. Keep that mission in your head and everything will turn out well." As I glance up I can see Ross looking at Kirkwall with melancholy.

Turning my head away, a tired smile shows on my face. "Nothing ever turns out right… or even ok. I learned that a long time ago…" I can see everything that has gone wrong. "But even so…I want to be with my father. I don't want to die now. Not when he is so broken… For that reason I will find what I need so that I can survive a little longer for my father and friends." My chest tightens once more before I remember that I may not be a hero, or some important person to this world. I don't want to be. What I do know is that my father loves me, my friends love me, if I died that would hurt them. I am important to them. That is what matters.

Looking down, I can see my hands are clenched tightly into fists. The hand is lifted from my shoulder and I turn my attention to Ross once more. "Seems you have the world on your little shoulders girl, do well to keep it safe."

A low chuckle escapes as the irony hits. In a sense you could say I do, I know what will happen in the future. All of the death and corruption, the pain many will suffer. I could always attempt to warn someone, the Grey Wardens but even then. The likeliness of them believing a little girl is next to none. If on the off chance they do I would be captured and made to foretell the future. I am a coward. I don't want to be a slave. So I will let others suffer because I am afraid.

"So what is it that you are looking for in Amaranthine?"

Quickly I snap my head as I seem to have drifted off into my thoughts. I bite my lip as I debate on what I am going to say before thinking 'what the hell.' Shrugging, I lean forward and rest my chin on my palm and let out a puff.

"What I seek is not within Amaranthine's walls. If it was...oh… That would be a terrifying." Giggling once more I stare at Kirkwall, barely visible now. I let out a breath and look at Ross. "I am looking for a dragon."


	16. Chapter 16

**I greet you all, thank you all for continuing on this journey. Oh so much fun, but also some indecision on my part. I am mulling over things for DAI and have yet to think of a solid plan. I do have somethings thought out and know the basic outcome and plot but the little people… little details get me.**

 **Also I wish to write a thank you to snowow194, Hebisama, Kara Reader, Akiko Uzumaki, Red Jeanie, Colbub, Kilgaxe, codus, Inquisitor-Ma'real, Stellar Spirit, xShadowMedlodyx, thesightstillhauntsme, Quiet Rose-13 and Pint-sized She-bear for following this story. Also I appreciate thesightstillhauntsme, Pint-sized She-bear, and Quiet Rose-13 for reviewing!**

 **Beta'd by Lee Totema**

* * *

Wiping my forehead, I cover my eyes from the glare of the sun as I glance around the surroundings. To my surprise I can faintly see a coast. Turning my head, I see many of the sailors are busy with fixing the ship or keeping her going. A week before, we were ambushed by an 'imperial' ship demanding that we surrender ourselves to them. To say it was amusing is an understatement. Captain pretty much ignored the man while continue to give orders around the ship. It was funny… until they shot fireballs at us. That pissed our pretty little Captain off.

We got in a fight. The mage on the Imperial ship aimed for the deck hands instead of the ship. The hull got away with some burns but we were able to evade them. A few fireballs manage to land on deck but no one died. We mostly came out unscathed with a few scratches. Stupid pride, they could have sunk us.

"Aye, Cat- tell Cap'n we are close to the Amaranthine docks." A large hand ruffles my hair drawing me away from my thoughts. A disgusted noise leaves me and I pull away. He tacked that stupid nickname on me shortly after meeting me. He says it is because I only talk to people when I want to, avoid touch, and make a _funny_ cat hiss noise when really angry. He would have called me Kitten but apparently I scared him with actually wanting to meet a dragon and also how well I fought for being so young.

"Fine" Spitting this out, the male laughs. His hand finds its way on my head once more and begins to squeeze. Cringing, I swing my hand up but he grabs it with his other hand and I let out a whine. "Stop! That hurts you nug licker!" Snarling this, I bring my leg up and kick him in the shin. It hurts him and me but I am free.

"Urg, that strength is impressive…" Grunting this out Ross bends and rubs his shin with a frown. To others it may seem as if we are truly fighting but that is not so. In fact he is like an uncle, even though I broke a rule. 'Respect the Captain.' Apparently the way I disrespected the captain was amusing so it was over looked. If the stupid monkey didn't get drunk and decide to **cuddle** me then this wouldn't be an issue. I only set his pants on fire so no real damage was done. I was surprised that the captain didn't kick me off the ship.

Making my way around the men working, I could see that the ship did get pretty beat up, mostly the deck. My pale eyes flicker up and I reach up and knock lightly on the door three times and wait. Bringing my hand up, I rub my nose while waving back at one of the other sailors. "Come in." Setting my hand against the relatively smooth wood, I push it open and speak up. "Captain, we are close to the docks." As I state this, I walk in a couple of steps.

My hands go behind my back and I stand at attention as Captain puts some papers down and turns to me with a serious look. Eyes widening, I tilt my head as this blonde suave male never seems to be serious. "It seems you will be leaving us soon Arinda Tethras. Can I not persuade you to stay with us?" His voice sounds different. Almost like he _cares_ which is impossible as we have only known each other for less than two months. My face twitches but I keep my face relatively blank. "Sir… _Captain_ " I stress "You know I cannot stay."

Sighing, he brings his hand up and rubs it down his face while standing slowly. It looks as if he aged. I can't understand why he would care so much about me. His steps are louder and not as silent. I don't flinch nor hit his hand away when he lays it on my head. "Travel safe my friend. Fereldan is a harsh and dangerous place."

"I know. More so then you think…" I wanted to warn him not to come back to Fereldan, to stay far away for the next few years. Yet I knew that it would send up a red flag, I don't want attention. I want to get this crap done and go home! I could tell my face was showing a weak expression.

The ship abruptly stops and I keep myself steady while glancing over my shoulder. Captain's hand falls. We are at the dock. He walks past me and I know that I am being dismissed, completely. My lips thin and I walk over to the sleeping area. It smells like ale and sweat. Still it was home, they kept me safe and entertained. Grabbing my bag, I pull it on and gently tap my blades at my hips. I can feel the slight kiss of magic from the runes.

Making my way to the side of the ship, I grip the railing and narrow my eyes at Amaranthine. The city looks lively, even from here I can see merchants. The air smells like leather and piss. "They are all the same." I chuckle quietly to myself at this.

My body tenses as something dark is thrown over my head. Something firm sets on my head. "Cat… Arinda, many do not like your kind. They think you weak and pathetic or a barbaric thief. Do not hide yourself but don't flaunt. They don't care that you are a kid- a real warrior in a child's skin." I can hear Ross speak. His words are strong. This man wants me to live, to survive. Gently, I bring my own small hand up and lay it on his large and rough one.

"I have heard what you said. Thank you Ross. May light guide your path in darkness." I wasn't religious, not in the aspect everyone is here. I just want him to be safe. Pulling my hand away, I fix the dark earthy cloak around me and keep the hood down while glancing up at the gruff male. His brown eyes show pain, pain I am not willing to delve into. Turning back to the docks, I rest my hand on the wood railing and vault myself over. The flight is short as I crouch as my feet touch the wooden pier.

A few workers glance my way and give me a look but I am ignored by most. I glance around begin to walk into the town. I keep my eyes low as to not look at anyone. My mind whirls as I begin to try and plan on what my next step is, as I have yet to plan anything other than 'get out of Kirkwall.' That was the most important step I could think of. Dad can be terrifying in his own way.

As I walked through the path I could see some people at their shops glance my way but not even bother to offer me their wares. When a human passed by they tripped over themselves trying to offer deals. Racism at its best I suppose. My hand somehow found its way to my hair and I was surprised once again by elf genetics. Yes my hair was greasy and slightly tangled but I was on the ship for about two months. They didn't have a shower or running water. We docked once to get some fresh water and food but other than that we did bird baths. A small cloth, water and a quick rub down so we didn't kill each other with our smell. Compare me to the others and I smell like sunshine.

Running my fingers through my hair a few times, I could see a few women dressed to impress (prostitutes) giggling and fluttering their lashes at people who passed by them. With me not paying too much attention I did not see that I was walking into someone until I fell on my butt. Blinking a few times, I look up quickly. An older elf woman with striking red hair and hazel eyes smiles down at me and offers her hand. Narrowing my eyes, I look at her and can tell that she too is a prostitute. To be polite, I take her hand with a quiet. "Thank you."

Her eyes widen briefly as she takes in my form. "A well-mannered girl…" She states then her smile changes to sensual. I feel a shiver make its way down my spine and red flags pop up in my head. Her grip becomes more firm and she leans closer. "Would you like to spend a little time together sweetie? I guarantee that it will be a night you will not forget. Well worth the money too." My brain shuts down. I am getting hit on…? No I am getting an offer from a prostitute. Well shit.

"… Thank you for the offer madam, however I decline." I am not going to be rude because this is how she gets money, I won't denounce her for it. I keep my voice steady, firm, yet polite. I don't want to seem shy because then she would get pushy and insistent but I am not going to be an ass. Gently I tug at my hand. The elf blinks in confusion at my words and let go. She lets out an odd sound and her face pales before she shakes her head and gives me a fake smile and a nod.

I frown once more before shrugging and continuing on my way. I am rather disappointed in Amaranthine. I heard it was supposed to be a jewel to behold. It seems to be like any other city if not worse. The ground is more rough then Kirkwall's. Bird shit everywhere, people lurking in every alleyway, and a distinct wall between races. Guards walk around but they don't seem to be doing their job, flirting with the prostitutes and drinking ale… lovely.

Sighing, I continue down the path and stop well chewing on my lip. Even if they aren't doing their job some may still be waiting at the front of the city. A young elf girl by herself is very suspicious. I would defiantly send up red flags. Climbing the wall is a no, if I am caught there is no doubt my actions would be seen as curious if not _the actions of an elf thief_ all the humans complain about. Shrugging, all I can do is going through and if I get caught… go for the eyes.

Picking up, I speed I make sure to avoid getting too close to people as I don't want anyone to attempt to blame me pickpocketing them. I can see the entrance to the city and surprisingly enough no guards. Instantly I narrow my eyes as I have never been that lucky. Paying people off is easy, lying is easy, tracking peoples schedules are simple, I have never been particularly lucky though.

Tensing, I push forward and am now walking through the entrance and I feel numb as I am now just on the outside. I can see the tiny village (if you can call it that. Farm maybe?) People are tending to the plants and animals. I take a breath and can already smell the difference. The air smells cleaner. Sure it smells like pig and cow crap but that doesn't smell too bad to me. I could make out a few people glancing at me but continuing with their work.

Finally I am on a path and can just make out the city behind me. My eyes flicker around taking in everything around me. The ground is a bare dirt path about twenty feet wide and, beyond the path, is a forest. It seems bare for a couple feet before the leaves become dense. A few birds are chirping and flittering around. It seems to be a nice normal day.

I just barely make it to the North Road one day later when I am ambushed by some bandits. They are all leering and chuckling to each other. Speaking about the small little elf by herself. Well they are all laughing and making fun of me I do what must be done in that type of situation- run away.

As quietly as I can, I make my way away from the large group. They had at least fifteen or so people with them. That is only the group that was with me now. If they are smart the leader would not send all of their people to an ambush. They were continuing to push each other and laugh. Truly I am surprised by their stupidity.

I am simply walking away and they aren't even noticing it. Can't say I am not pleased by this but honestly- can they truly be that thick? Once I am in the forest I take off. I stay close enough so that I can see I am still following the road but far enough that I am not easily seen. With my paranoia I didn't dare step foot onto the dirt path until night. Now it took me a long time to come to the conclusion that traveling at night would not be too bad. With my slightly superior eye sight and hearing I would be able to see or hear if anyone was traveling. Humans tend to be clumsier at night, even rogues. Dwarves though it depends. I am screwed either way if it is a bear or group of wolves.

* * *

In the afternoon of my third day on the North Road I can just make out Denerim. I did pass a few small villages but I didn't want to stay in them. The problem with small villages is that everyone knows everyone so a weird elf showing up… they would call the Templars or just try and burn me. Probably. I already decided I was going to head to the Pearl. A lot less questions as long as I pay upfront and don't start a fight, which is not likely as I will be staying only one full day and night. I need to gather provisions. I can only live off bark and squirrels for so long.

I am once more disappointed with another city. It isn't that bad but there are way too many people. I made it into the city with a crowd of people using a different gate (Which is odd. Shouldn't there be guards at this one too?). I made my way to the Pearl while keeping my eyes open. I could see some people getting conned buying cheap stuff for a ridiculous price, people flirting, begging, threatening and some just people watching. It was almost terrifying how normal it seems, just like my old work.

As I pushed open the old wooden door to the tavern/brothel an odd smell hit me. One I did not want to think about. Shaking my head, I let my eyes flicker around and went up to the counter. It was a separate area before entering the tavern part. I am glad to say that I was tall enough so that I did not have to stand on my tip toes to see over the counter. "Excuse me." Curse my need to use manners at random times.

A man glanced over a briefly looked me up and down with his eyes narrowed. "Yes?" I could see bags under his eyes. His voice was clipped but I can only guess how tough it was with constantly dealing with drunken patrons. _I_ could barely deal with _sober_ people.

"I would like to rent a room for one day." Saying this I look into the others eyes without really showing any emotions. Once more the male narrowed his eyes and then looked over to his right. I couldn't see what he was looking at but soon he spoke up. "With or without meals?"

Pausing, I began to think if that was necessary. I could always buy some food myself but then again who is to say anyone would sell to me. "Yes." Bringing my hand up, I sigh as I curse myself for not properly thinking this through. I at least brought a few pieces of dried meat I would eat only in emergencies, seeing as they can last for a very long time.

Nodding, the man held his finger up while turning and walking out the door on the other side. It was only a few seconds before he was waiting for me where the tavern part was. I walked over and he began to speak in a monotone. "My name is Tom. We have few rules at The Pearl. Don't start fights or you will get kicked out…" I looked around and saw a few larger males in armor standing at some of the doors "Don't deal no dirty business, we don't want to deal with any of those bad folk." I found myself standing at the furthest door in the hall. "Don't fuck up the room, that means don't go destroying it." He brought a key out from his pocket and handed it to me. "You better bring this back or we will hunt you down!"

Nodding, I fingered the key gently before unlocking the door. "I understand" I step in and turn looking up at the man. I reach into the inner pocket on my coat. "How much?"

"One sovereign and thirty silver." He states.

Raising a brow, I am surprised. That is actually pretty cheap compared to most places. The Hanged man was two sovereigns without any meals included. I pull out the required money and hand it over before nodding once more and shutting the door. Right at the entrance is a short hall about five feet, shortly after it opens up to a small yet comfy room. A queen sized bed lay right in the middle of the room with red sheet. Cringing I glance around more and see a small metal tub with some clean water in it for a bath. One lone wood dresser is in the corner.

Walking over to the dresser, I set my bag down and start to take everything out. I separate all the dirty clothes and then walk over to the tub with them. I quickly strip and once more do a bird bath. I wipe my body down with the clean cloth provided, put on some clean clothes, and then get to business with cleaning the dirty clothes in the water.

I clench and unclench my hands once I am done as they are all prune like now. Standing up, I let the clothes hang and walk over to my bag. I have a few pieces parchment, inch and a quill, dry venison strips, my daggers, a hunting knife, my money and a large map, and the cloak Ross gave. I scratch my chin with a hum. Sighing I reach over and rub my stiff shoulder. Traveling for a few days and already I am tired, more so in my mind then body.

Setting myself on the bed, I stare into my lap as my mind is both running in a circle and doing absolutely nothing. I, a twelve year old elf girl, must find a dragon, somehow train it, and bond with it (magically). I have no idea how to do that, how to find a dragon for one (how to not die once dragon is found). Along with that I don't even know what type of magic I will need for this _bond_. The final problem is… I know next to no magic.

Letting out an unflattering groan, I flap down on the sheets and roll around on the bed a few times. Puffing my cheeks up, I stare petulantly at the ceiling. My mind reminds me that there is one person here that would know about this magic, one person that would know how to handle a dragon- one person that would help me.

I grind my teeth together as this thought hits me. "So I get to visit a batty old hag, just great."


	17. Chapter 17

**As I promised- a double update. I am sorry this took so long, hopefully you will all forgive me. Thank you all for following and reviewing. Now on another note I am doing a Poll for the next fanfiction and I want you to vote for which fanfiction I should do. It involves anime however, not video games or books. So please go vote on the Poll, It will close by the end of February. Thank you and enjoy!**

 **Vocal Sabbatical, nansen5, Death's Inevitable Kiss, Ocastel102, MakoLoonygirl, HollySutterlin, and Fireshadow277 are amazing people for following this story!**

 **Beta's by the lovely Lee Totema**

* * *

(9:28 Dragon)

"Thank you." Saying this, I nod my head at Tom once more as he hands me some assorted nuts and berries. That along with some more dried meat strips. I stuffed everything in my bag (gently with the berries) and hand the key back to the human. My stay here was comfortable in every aspect so I will definitely be coming back to stay here if I am in the area.

I grab my bag, hoist it over my shoulder and secure it. I do a check and make sure I have my daggers, clothes, and cloak. With a nod I walk out of the room and the Tavern, smiling at Sanga and making my way out of the Pearl. I keep the cloak hood down until I get out of the city and on to the West Road. With the map in my hand, I can see most of Ferelden and the Free Marches. "How the hell did Nia make this kind of map?" Muttering to myself, I looked harder and could see the amazing detail. Many cities and roads are labeled. Forests, mountains, and rivers- it has everything. I actually had a few more maps of different areas but at the moment this is all that I need.

Rolling the map up, I carefully put it into my cloak and take a breath. It seems that it rained last night. The ground was slightly damp beneath my feet and the air had a slightly cleaner smell. Stretching my arms up, I let a small smile show. For some reason my gut is telling me that in the future I will be smiling less and less. Instantly that thought puts a damper on my mood. Looking down, I pause in my steps and dig my toes into the muddy earth while biting my lip harshly.

Cutting my thoughts off, I bare my teeth and reprimand myself for letting something like fear of the future scare me. I lived my past life not knowing what would happen next, when I would die or if some random thug would kill me. There are so many ifs but I kept moving forward because that was the only thing I could do. That is what I will do now. I won't be held back by this terror of war and death.

I feel a tingle on my skin and barely roll out of the way. Ice shoots up from the ground were I once stood and I once more dodge as a boulder nearly smashes me flat. My eyes widen more as I stay in a crouch while keeping my senses on high alert. I hear a laugh and glance over to see a dark haired boy my age. My brows furrow as I look at him. A smirk is shown blatantly on his face and he raises his hand.

"I found you and to be honest I am not that impressed." He has a distinct Starkhaven accent. The males gold eyes glow as he looks down at me. I feel annoyance but keep my face blank. He brings the hand and covers his mouth as he chuckles. Finally I stand up and cross my arms while giving him a bland look. I do not want to deal with crazy people, not now.

"Oh ho. What a scary glare you have there. You are rather frightening friend, almost like Falon'Din." I felt my spine tingle and soon my mouth was not my own. My emotions I could no longer control, I knew this was not good.

" **Do not speak to me so familiarly. We are not friends.** " My soft voice took on a rough tone. I was annoyed that the fool God could actually control my body to an extent. It is a rather troubling fact that I will now have to worry about.

The black haired boy laughed even harder before they spoke, his voice changing also. It took on a more feminine lilt. "Sorry to hear that. Though, you, I will always consider to be a friend."

As they said this, I could feel the hairs on my body stand on end. I also could tell that the way they said it did not mean they were being kind. It felt more like a curse. My face was tilted up and Falon'Din radiates annoyance as he spoke through me. " **How nauseating. What is your purpose?** " My hand moved to my side and grips the dagger tightly while my pale eyes narrow dangerously.

"Oh do not fret. I only wish to amuse myself, as I guess you are doing. It was beyond dreadful _there_. It was a surprise to find someone like this so close to us and not even a speck of magic." As the other male spoke he moved in an odd way. Bringing his hand up and looking at it like it was fascinating yet boring. I then put the pieces together. That male was housing a God like me.

I felt a crack and I violently push my way back into control. My body felt itchy and tight. I remove my hand from my dagger and scratch my head. Tilting my head to and fro, I could feel the tension loosen as it cracks and pops. Taking my time, I let my eyes glance up at the other and give him a glare of my own. "I don't have time to deal with you. I could care less what you do as long as it does not interfere with or involve me or my family."

With that said, I turn on my heel and continue on my journey. I refuse to deal with another selfish wannabe God. Sucking in a breath, I grip my head as a sharp pain shoots behind my eyes. 'Damn you Falon'Din. I swear…' Thinking this to myself I faintly can hear the odd boy speak to me.

"You will be seeing me again. I am called Athol for now. See you soon…" I quickly turn my head but there is no one there now. Furrowing my brows I shake my head again as I am not willing to deal with that shit.

* * *

A week and some sore feet later, I make it to Lothering. The little village is quite calm when you look at it. There are a lot of farmers more than anything else. I think this would be a good place to live. That is if you weren't a mage. I walked through the odd stone entrance and glance around, yes there was a Templar standing right there. I merely ignored him and continue on.

I could feel many eyes on me that I didn't bother to react to. Some kids were out in the fields helping out, it is a nice sight. None of the people really did any farming in Kirkwall. Since we are by the sea, we got pretty much everything imported from other places. Turning my head, I glance around more and saw some bigger buildings. There was a Chantry, along with a tavern. Shrugging, I note to myself to never step foot in the Chantry. I still feel that I would be burnt to ash if I go into that _holy_ place. Plus I am an elf and only humans go into the Chantry. That's how it pretty much is in Kirkwall. Sure they like to make it seem like they accept us but elves get dirty looks when they go in there.

As I continue through the small village, I see a teenager with dark hair. Tilting my head slightly, I watch as she glances around and makes her way into the woods. For some odd reason she seems familiar; long wavy hair with a slightly petite frame. Her plain white blouse went to the middle of her thighs and she had dirty brown pants.

Against my better judgement, I follow the girl into the woods. Furrowing my brows, I try to remember who she could be but my mind was drawing a blank. Finally the teen stops walking. I quickly hid myself behind a tree as she began to look around. This is when I notice that in her hand she held some flowers and her eyes were puffy. Tilting my head more, I watch as the young girl bend down by a tree and set the flowers down.

The girl bows her head and this is when I can hear soft sobs. My eyes widen as I can see some stones set up by the tree and then I feel the tingling in my flesh- magic. With soft steps I walk out and slightly to the side and indeed see a soft green glow surrounding her hand. She clenches it before the magic fades and she covers her face. I didn't know the reason for her sadness but I knew that what she did was very dangerous.

"You shouldn't do that."

A sharp gasp and she twirls around. Both of us freeze and pale as we stare at each other. Her for being caught doing magic and me because I can instantly recognize those high cheek bones, pointed nose, and hazel eyes. I now know who she was- Bethany Hawke. She plops backwards on her bottom and I can see the terror in her face. I am in no way good at comforting people so I just stand awkwardly before turning my gaze to where the flowers lie.

This is when I see many more flowers. Some were only tiny little wisps or wilted brown pieces. Turning my attention more to this, I then voice out a question. "What is this for?" I crouch and rest my arms on my knees. The dark haired teen answers shakily, and it sounds more like a question. "My father… he died a few months ago. There is no grave for me to…" With that she trails off and begins to sniffle, still with a horrified face.

Blinking rapidly, I then frown as I turn to look back at the flowers. I softly clap my hands together once and then keep them together well bowing my head and closing my eyes. I never knew the man. No one ever really knew anything about him except he was the father of these three amazing kids. _'Thank you. You will soon see what an amazing family you have. Please sir, watch over them when times get hard. They will become worse at time goes on.'_ Thinking this in my head, I dip my head and then turn to look at the girl.

"I apologize if I seem presumptuous but I think times like this you should be with your family. Gather strength from them to help you become ready for what is to come." Saying this, I hold my hand out for her to take. At the same time I am violently cursing myself in my mind. I don't want to involve myself with anyone anymore then I already have.

"Why are you… not…" Grabbing my hand the sniffling teen furrows her brows at me. I can't help but show a smirk while shaking my head at her question.

With my other hand, I slowly unclench the fist I made and a small puff of smoke appears. A fire flickers to life before fizzling out quickly. I still have a hard time with controlling the size of my spells unless I am in mortal danger. I suppose that is a good thing but at the same time it makes me feel rather inadequate.

Hazel eyes widen along with a soft gasp. "Are you a… a Dalish?"

My lips thin as we both make our way out of the forest still holding hands. Her pale hand was gripping mine firmly, not letting go. I still have a rather low opinion of the Dalish. There have been a few that camp near our city and, when I have ran into them whenever I wander in the woods, I am always referred to as 'flat-ear' which I find rather ironic. The Dalish elves think they are such proud people. They don't wish to be looked down upon by humans yet they do the same to their own if they don't live as they do.

"No-" shaking my head annoyance was definitely shown on my face. "My father found me abandon in the woods and raised me. He is a dwarf." Saying this, I can't help but smile.

"… Your eyes. Why are your eyes like that? Oh, Andraste I am sorry. That was very rude of me." I can't help but laugh as I see the panic. She is frazzled rather easily and I can admit that I find that cute. I turn my head and can see a lot of the people are glancing at us.

"I am not sure. I know I was born this way, I have no problems with sight so it is probably a birth defect." Shrugging, I find the dark haired human taking the lead. Tensing, I am still rather wary of what is going on. Sure I have enough empathy to make sure she doesn't get captured by Templars but do I really need to comfort her? Despite my inner battle, I find myself standing in front of an old wood and hay house.

The door swiftly slams open and I see a frazzled Leandra. "Where have you been young lady…?" Her soft blue eyes flicker to me and her mouth shuts quickly. Her lips thin and she folds her hands together and somehow it seems she changes; her whole aura becomes calm and elegant. Squinting my eyes I could swear that the older woman began to glow.

I tilt my head back and almost shrink into myself as she studies me. Finally she speaks again. "Greetings, I am Leandra Hawke. I see you have met my daughter Bethany and I thank you for bringing her home to me." As she says this, a soft yet tense smile immerges on her face. I feel as if I may be stumbling on an awkward family moment.

Before I could speak up to excuse myself, Bethany is pushing past her mother and pulling me into the house. I make an unflattering grunt whine noise and accept my fate for the moment. The teen ushers me onto the couch and flops down next to me. She then just smiles, I could still see her eyes were slightly puffy. Uncomfortably, I sit for a few seconds while shifting away as she continues to smile at me. I hear a soft huff and then Leandra storms into the room. "What do you think you are doing ignoring me Bethany Hawke!?" She reprimands.

Turning her head, Bethany's hair falls over her shoulder and she grins at her mother. The greying woman flinches back and her face shows confusion. "Mum! You wouldn't guess who I met! Her name… Oh no, I've done it again. Forgive me!" Bethany stood up with a frown.

"You pulled the poor child around the village and you didn't even think to ask her name. I raised you better than that." Resting her hands on her hips, the older Hawke woman frowned but I could see her lip twitching. Bethany pulled an ashamed face and looked back to me.

"Andraste, I am Bethany Hawke a pleasure to meet you! What might you be called?" She went all out her voice became more clear and feminine. She bowed while gently pinching the side of her blouse. I couldn't help but chuckle. My way of introducing is less eloquent. "My name is Arinda Tethras, a pleasure." I dip my head at both women.

"Anyways mum! She is a mage like me!"

I pale considerably at her statement. My eye twitches and I reach up and cover my face. "Please do not blurt that out. Even to your friends and family that is a dangerous thing to state." I say this while leaning back on the hay filled couch. I cross my arms and give her a look. Hazel eyes widen and she covers her mouth. "I am sorry."

I swear in the game this girl did not seem to be this daft. I let out a frustrated noise and I could see in Leandra's eyes that she was panicking. My plain eyes turn back to Bethany. "You need to be careful of where and when you use magic. I can understand you wanting to use the magic… perhaps to feel closer to your father somehow." I had to stop and rephrase what I said seeing as I should not know that Malcolm was a mage.

"Bethany!" Leandra hisses out.

I hold my hand up and stand. "I apologize, Mistress Hawke-" I state while nodding my head. Once again I turn to the younger of the two. "Listen, I only say this so that you are not taken. Don't ever feel ashamed for your ability to wield magic. I want you to know that someone who uses a sword that is scared of that sword can hurt themselves and those around them just as easily as a mage. Look at it this way, you and only people like you can heal and help people on the brink of death. No one but a mage can do that." I say this with a serious look. "You are not born a bad or good person no matter race, gender, or if you have magic. You make those decisions yourself no one else."

My face flushes as I now realize what I have said. I sound like some hero or something. Shaking my head, I look up and see Bethany with tears falling down her face. I make a weak wheezing noise and tense up as she lunges forward and hugs me while sobbing. I turn my head weakly to look at Leandra. 'Why is she so overly emotional…? Oh yeah hormones…' I know my face looks between blank and panicked.

I can see the woman's face looks conflicted. Humming, I awkwardly begin to pat the humans back while praying that this will be over soon. Somehow we end up on the couch while she still cries into my shoulder. After a few minutes, I hear the door open and firm footsteps coming through. I tilt my head up and see a gruff looking male. This is when I feel my chest all but start to crush my lungs.

"Mother…?" He starts but Leandra interrupts and whispers softly to him. The male nods and comes over, his icy blue eyes stare intently at me before they focus on his little sister. He gently secures her in his arms and walks off.

I kind of just sit while my mind tries to wrap around that I have met Bethany, Leandra, and the elder Hawke child. I hear a cough and I glance up. "Would you like a cup of tea?" I shake my head at Leandra's question. I stand up getting ready to leave. "I am sorry, I have barged in. I don't want to overstay my welcome."

"No." I freeze at the way Leandra spoke. It was powerful yet sad. "Please sit. I wish to speak to you." My heart begins to pound loudly in my chest and I feel sick. I should not have even bothered. Now I am in trouble.

She walks over to a chair not far from the couch and fluently sits down. Folding her hands in her lap, she looks at me and it is now that I can see the lines on her face. Her hair that was beginning to grey looks dull. She closes her eyes and frowns. Breathing out, she opens her eyes and her soft blue eyes hold so much emotion that I take a breath.

"My daughter Bethany is a soft and kind soul. She took the passing of my late husband harder than all of us…" Pausing with her speech, the woman swallows. It is now that I learn I am not in trouble. "At first all she did was lock herself in her room and cry. Her brother Carver tried to get her to come out but it only ended with him storming out. After a few months she began to wander in the woods. It terrified me, I did not know if she was going off to… to…" Voice cracking, I can see her eyes were becoming glassy.

Hands trembling, she clenches them together and continues. "I didn't want to lose another of my beloved family. I didn't know what to do. Argrin took up the role of being the provider. He started working harder to get money. Carver became even angrier… Bethany… my sweet Bethany just stopped crying. I could see too that she was struggling with her… magic. It would go off at times. I thought to myself, what if it happens where someone sees her? She could be taken from me. She rarely spoke to us."

I look down and shifted. I knew how terrifying that could be for a parent. Varric went through that with me when Natal died. Looking back at it, I feel guilty because Natal was his friend too. He lost someone too and I acted like I was the only one who it affected.

"… It's always difficult to see past our own sorrow, especially at a young age. It is like a fog covers your mind and starts to suffocate you. It is near impossible to get out of that sadness alone. Someone else needs to reach out to help us find our way out. It is a hard and bumpy road, but that path will make us stronger." I am not entirely sure where I am going with that.

"You speak as if you know loss and death." I hear a low voice behind me. Turning my head, I see the one called Argrin, the elder Hawke. I could easily pick up on that mocking voice. Frowning, I stare at the dark haired male. His skin was lightly tanned and his beard is beginning to grow. "What are you? Ten?"

"You speak as if you understand me and the life I have lived. It would be wise not to judge someone based on their age or appearance." I say this calmly and turn my attention back to Leandra while folding my own hands on my lap as my expression begins to turn icy.

"Argrin that was uncalled for! There is no need to be rude." Leandra's voice comes out almost like a growl. I chuckle and shake my head. "Don't worry, I _am_ an elf. I have had people say worse things to me."

The woman frowns and looks back at me more intently "… Your eyes… are they… were you?" Confused, I tilt my head and begin to think about it before I realize what she was hinting to. My eyes widen and I shake my head. "Oh no. I was born this way…" To be honest there is always a possibility that this was done before I was born but I didn't want to think about that.

There is a long moment of silence before I hear a grunt and loud footsteps stomping off. Shaking her head, Leandra softly sighs. "I apologize everyone has been… It is becoming a mess. What I wish to say is thank you. Bethany hasn't cried in months. It sounds so odd to thank someone for making my child cry but I haven't seen her show much emotion lately."

I cough to cover up my laugh. "Don't worry. I tend to make people cry a lot." I can't help but say.

The woman smiles softly while chuckling herself. A comfortable silence follows and I glance around. The house smells nice. It was a soft cinnamon scent along with herbs. There was a large family portrait, two young twins. Bethany had long pig-tails and, who I assume is, Carver was frowning with his arms crossed as the elder child in the portrait was ruffling his hair. Leandra was being held by an older gentleman with dark black hair and a wide smile. That must be Malcolm Hawke.

"If I may ask… Arinda. Why are you here alone and not with your family?"

Freezing, I stare at the picture a little longer before turning to face her. I show a soft sad smile. "I had to leave my dad."

"Why?" She whispers looking sad herself.

Biting my lip, I glance away as I argue with myself about telling her. I suppose it wouldn't be bad as long as it isn't the full truth. "I am looking for a woman in this area. A witch, she has many names but in this area she is known as Flemeth." I already know I have no ability with magic so how would I ever be able to bond with a dragon without her help?

Instantly I can see the woman's face pale. "Why would you…?"

"I am dying. It is very slow but I can tell. I am finding her because I know she can help me. This is not something a regular mage could cure. I am cursed." Whispering this, I bring my hand up and wiggle my fingers. I have been feeling odd sharp tingles in my feet and hands lately. They feel cold and almost numb. That does scare me.

I flinch away as Leandra stands up and kneels in front of me. She gently takes my face in her hands and looks deeply into my eyes and murmurs softly. "Who would do such a thing?"

"A very selfish and cruel man." I answer back thinking of Falon'Din.

We continue to stare at each other for a while until she stands up and glances out the window. "Ah, time seems to have slipped away. Why don't you stay for dinner dear?" The woman has an odd look in her eyes as she asks and I can't help but nod to her. "Alright, thank you." I can already tell that I am going to both regret and not regret following Bethany.


	18. Chapter 18

**Oh how wonderful it is to see so many people enjoying my story. I am putting so much effort into each and every chapter (seriously… a lot). So it brings me immense joy to see all the people who are reading and actually liking my story. Now I wish to thank some people for reviewing xenocanaan- whom has been with my story since the beginning and reviews all the time! I love you. thesightstillhauntsme, Pint-sized She-Bear, and QuietRose-13 who have started reading more recently though I love no less. You all have been reviewing a lot I do appreciate it.**

 **I apologize for the delay, I did warn you all that my updates will continue to be late. Now we have to welcome some new Followers: photon1999. N8iV, DrPepper280, and Xaiael. I am so happy you decided to check my story out, I hope you will continue to enjoy it even in the future!**

 **The wonderful and magical Lee Totema is my Beta (give her some love)**

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'A month has come to pass and I am still here,' I think to myself darkly. There have been a few times that I have attempted to leave but I seem to have a soft spot for Bethany's puppy eyes. Every single time I attempt to bring up that I have to leave she turns into a mess saying that I am the only friend she has. The girl can be quite melodramatic. Bringing my hand to my face, I rub my eyes and set the parchment down.

Leandra has been kind enough to let me go through some of Malcolm's things such as more information on magic. I do very little magical training. More or less I will meditate and think on what I have read. I have put it into practice in the fade a few times, which doesn't do much but make my essence feel weird. I do often feel strangely empty afterwards. Perhaps I am using my will or something. After some begging Leandra allows Bethany to teach me a little bit about healing magic.

The lessons have helped me as healing is different than shooting magic at people. It feels similar to when I made the barrier protecting Nia and Bianca. It doesn't feel wrong per say more different to what I am accustomed to. Sitting in Malcolm's study, I look down at my hand while clenching it tightly. Slowly opening it, a faint green glow wraps around it. I flinch back as the memory of me trying to heal Natal flashes through my mind. My chest tightens and I can feel my eyes tingle.

I think the reason I feel almost physically sick when I try the healing magic is because I know I have already failed once and someone close to me died. I don't want that to happen, however I don't have the confidence to actually try. Clenching my hand tighter, I can feel my nails biting into my palm. Sighing, I stand up and begin to organize the papers. The door slams open and Bethany comes into the room with a wide grin. The smile quickly leaves when she sees my face. Frowning, the dark haired teen walks closer to me and lays her hand on my shoulder.

I could feel the itch to shrug her hand off but refrain from doing it. Grinding my teeth, I look away from her. "What is wrong Arinda?" She whispers softly. I bite back my insult and chew on my lip staying quiet. I already know my personality can be volatile and I can say hurtful things to people without thinking twice, only to regret it later. Closing my eyes, I took a breath and wince as I can smell memories of the family who has helped me so much. They smell like grass and potions. Opening my eyes, I look up at the pale girl. "I regret so much. Things I don't want to talk about. Bethany I am a coward, in more ways than one."

Anyone can come up with pretty words to inspire someone, or damn them. Here I am once again playing house pretending that everything is fine when it is not. Looking into soft chocolate brown eyes, I am reminded once again of what can and will happen to this family. Bringing my hand up, I take Bethany's hand off of my shoulder. "I can't stay. Not any longer, I need to do some things. I have one request Bethany. Please listen carefully to me!" Each word is soft but even I can hear the urgency.

The younger Hawke tightens her grip on my hand and her eyes tremble. "What's wrong?!" I know I am frightening her but all I can think is perhaps it is for the best. Fear can keep you alive. Finally I pull back my emotional walls. I want her to get a glimpse of what I am. I am no saint and I know I probably have some evil in me, more so than others.

"The world will soon erupt into chaos and many will die Bethany." Whispering this, I can't help the smile that shows on my face. I must truly be evil or cursed because I find this ironic. "You must be strong to protect your family. Both your brothers seem the type that will do _whatever_ they have to so they can protect their family. That can come with consequences…" Pausing, I stop and wonder why I am saying this. 'Ah yes… I don't want them to die.'

I can feel her hand become sweaty and stiff, trailing my eyes up to her face I can see the terror. Maybe she is afraid, maybe that will be good. "Everything I am telling you is true. Bethany Hawke… the Fifth Blight is coming. Fereldan will be the first place to be infected…" Before I could say anything else Argrin rushed in with a terrifying expression. I pulled my hand away from the girls and narrow my eyes at the male.

"What-" I start.

"They know that a mage lives here!" The male growls.

My mind stops working for before erupting into loud screams. I shake my head _'I need your help oh great Falon'Din'_ I think in my head while I grip Bethany's wrist tightly and drag her to the front door. I hear Argrin demand to know what I am doing. I grab my bag and get everything situated before flicking my wrist and trying to get the familiar warmth from my core to move. Turning, I face Argrin with a smirk "Start crying for help now and maybe get your mother…" I state. Finally I feel the odd warmth make its way up to my arm. The elder Hawke can barely get out 'what' before a large flame erupts from my hand and separates us.

"What are you doing!?" Bethany cries. Not answering I drag her to the door and set my hand against it and a small puff of flames comes out. I growl and finally another larger fire comes out and I can see the door begin to burn. Opening it I yank us outside and slam the door but freeze briefly as I can see five Templars are making their way to the house. I can faintly hear the cracking of the fire in the house. The heat at my back warns me that indeed the plan is working.

I can see the Templar's catch sight of us and pick up their pace, their metal armor clanking as they rush. Argrin's loud yelling echo's and I smirk while turning and quickly pulling Bethany to the woods. The teen struggles but my grip is stronger, all the years of training and working out seem to have helped.

"You three help the family in the house. The mage has taken a hostage! You come with me to the woods!" Those words calm my racing heart as I know that they took the bait. Though the next part of the plan may not work if I don't get an answer. _'Answer me now or so help me!'_ I shout in my mind.

No answer but I can't help but jump as I hear some cursing behind me and a low creak sound as we make our way into the woods. Looking over my shoulder past Bethany, the groaning noise gets worse and I can see roots shoot from the ground and trip the Templars. Facing forward, I stumble as Bethany yanks hard. "Enough!" Gritting this through my teeth, I look back at her and can see that she has an odd expression. Shaking my head, I pull her forward and surprisingly enough the girl follows albeit at a slower pace.

"Arinda… What you did. It wasn't bad." I frown at her words. My steps pause and I turn and actually _look_ at her. I can't hear the Templars anymore, so I know we have a little time. My plan was to create the illusion that I either threatened or tricked the Hawke family into keeping me hidden. I don't think this naïve girl could figure it out. 'I knew I shouldn't have involved myself with them.'

A high pitch whistle sound echo's around and my mind can't process what is going on. Bethany's eyes are blown wide and her mouth trembles. Slowly pain blooms in my shoulder and I can see the shaft of an arrow imbedded into my flesh. _'Oh my god. No! Oh my God!_ _ **No!**_ _'_ My mind begins to run a mile a minute and the pain catches up. I am on my knees and hunch over while my right hand grips my left shoulder. It does nothing for the pain.

' _Fool child! Your attachment for the human will cost you your life.'_ Falon's voice whispers harshly. Tears fall down and the world around me seems to be non-existent. I can feel his essence leak into my magic, the power is over whelming. I look up while crying and can see Bethany bent too and her eyes show concern and panic. My shoulder feels like it is on fire yet everything else feels cold. One thought repeats in my thoughts, 'They cannot take her. They will not take her with them!'

All too soon the power seems to leave me like a breeze but the air around me becomes tense. My gaze sluggishly moves up to where the Templars are and I can see one raise his sword while the other is ready with a bow. My eyes look down as dust seems to fly up and the ground shakes. All too soon it seems like time speeds up and a loud snap like noise follows and the two armor clad men fly back with amazing force and slam into a tree which cracks under the pressure. Even though I am seeing what is happening I can't understand it.

' _Take the arrow out and run.'_ The soft yet angry voice hisses at me. Flinching I reach up and cringe as I touch the arrow but feel nothing. Frowning, I grip it while gritting my teeth and yank. A disgusting ripping noise follows along with my shoulder becoming colder. I feel someone grip my hand. Snapping my hand away, I step back yet Bethany follows and she quickly brings her green glowing hand up.

"What… What are you doing?" My hoarse voice comes out but I don't recognize it. My mind seems broken for some reason. Brown eyes sadly look at me.

A tingling warm makes its way from my shoulder to my hand. She is healing me? Furrowing my brows, I shake my head and back away again. Still the raven haired girl follows with her hand still glowing strongly. "You became the bad guy so that we won't be suspected…" Her words were soft and shaky. Tears gather in her eyes and they slowly begin to fall down her cheeks and chin. "I am so sorry Arinda!" she chokes out. My insides clench and I reach forward and pull her close to me and push myself onto my tip toes and rest my forehead against hers.

Taking a breath, I sniffle along with her and close my eyes. I can faintly hear some people yelling further away. Her trembling calms me as for some reason despite me not wanting to get close I know she cares. Licking my lips, I open my eyes and see her russet eyes watching me. Despite the short time we have known each other she was the one to open herself up to me about her worries and fears. I could tell she was just talking to fill the silence. She still mourned her father's loss. I could tell she looks up to him. He was a powerful mage and from what I heard an amazing father.

"I am sorry… I am sorry I am not a good person-" A soft feather light feeling brushed past my lips and I blink slowly. Shock makes me pause and a few tears leave my eyes. I feel Bethany gently take my cheeks in her hands and she smiles even as sparkling tears fall. I feel my breath stop. The noise is getting closer so I know I don't have long. "We will see each other again little Hawke." I whisper and return a soft kiss "Now sleep." A gentle feeling leaves me. All my fears and worries go with it and I catch Bethany as she falls unconscious. Setting her smoothly on the ground, I look at her face for a little bit before wiping my face and sucking in a breath.

Turning on my heels, I take off into a fast jog. I beam brightly as I can feel the wind rushing through my hair. I pick up my pace and the world around me turns into a blur. Even as I know I am being hunted, the Templars are more likely to kill me. Even though I may die, I feel freer then I have in years. I continue running through the forest for what feels like an hour before I slow down. Bending over, I rest my hands on my knees while gasping and push myself to stand. I pinch my shirt and bring the neckline up and wipe the sweat on my chin and upper lip. Glancing around, I actually see through the forest and catch sight of a dirt path.

Reaching into my pack, I move stuff around and find a map to the area. I open it and look around see that I am either heading towards Redcliffe or Ostagar. Quickly rolling it back up, I shove it into my pack and begin walking well taking out my water skin. A quick sip and I put it away. I plan to follow the dirt road but remain by the edge so I will be less likely to be found. The dark cloud of depression in my mind has become clearer. I know I won't be free of it for a while. My pain and darkness runs to deep for a few words of kindness to change my feelings. The way she treated me has lessened the burden though. I do hope the others can come to forgive me. I know that my fire has probably burnt some of their things.

* * *

Bringing my hand up, I wipe the sweat from my forehead. After a full day of walking with no breaks I could see the outlines of building. A melancholy feeling came forth. "Ostagar…" I whisper to myself. I can't believe I am here, where everything starts, all the madness and betrayal… in a sense. My body stops and I can't seem to take another step. If I do then I know that everything will be real and true. I will see where the legend began. I won't be able to back down and that frightens me.

' _They are still following you child. Don't stop.'_ Falon'Din hums. Glancing around, I shake my head and finally begin to move forward again. A shiver goes up my spine, I felt an ominous presence. Instantly I broke into a run and head straight for the Korcari Wilds. I felt a pulse hit me and I stumbled slightly. Eyes widening, I begin to pump my legs even harder. I didn't bother dodging branches. I can feel each new cut form as they slice my skin open. Giant puddles were starting to show up and I jumped over what I could before they start to look more like ponds. I could feel my heart in my throat when I saw a few dead bodies floating in them.

I began to curse in my head as I start to hear howls resound around me along with the slight clanking of armor and the sound of horses. 'That is so cheating' I growl in my head. 'Move legs move! Faster.' I chant to myself. My breath was shorter and began to burn my lungs but I just push harder. The area opens up and I could swear I could hear low whispers all around and the area was getting colder. Screaming starts up and I can't help but stop and turn. My jaw drops as I can see some trees behind me are walking and not that far off the Templars are fighting them.

' _She is near. The mother is close.'_ He whispers in my head excitedly. I turn once more and move again, my body guiding me, more like Falon'Din. My body felt invigorated, even with my breathing straining as it was, excitement shown through. Grunting, I fall over a root and roll forward and over a hill. My body tumbles hitting against roots and rocks and I slide into water. Hurriedly, I roll myself onto my hands and knees and cough. Water spews out of my nose and mouth, I gag and my eyes water. As I choke, I see an old house, more of a shack not far off. I crawl to the edge of the water and flop on my back not caring about the water and begin to laugh while looking at the grey sky.

I quite down after a few minutes and I can feel my body ache. My shoulder, which probably still has a hole in it, pulses with pain. I can hear faint crunching noises and guess they are footsteps. A shadow falls over me and I see a wrinkle and withered face. Her eyes yellow eyes show amusement along with something lurking within. Her lips quirk and she speaks with an old slightly crackly voice yet somehow it seems captivating. "Now it is not every day that I see someone cackling outside my home." Her hands are on her hip and her grey hair is pulled in a bun. My hand begins to move on its own and reaches up towards the witch. My breathing becomes shallow and my vision starts to get cloudy. " **Mythal**." I whisper before my vision goes black and I feel like I am drowning.

* * *

Gasping, I sit up and can see a murky green sky above me. I can't help but sigh. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I rest my chin upon my knees. My nails dig into my skull as I squeeze it. "Damnit!" I growl out. I can never catch a break, every corner, every turn something always waits for me. That ominous feeling is back and I turn quickly with my palms on the ground.

Falon'Din is hunched over playing with his fingers, gold eyes flickering around. This is when I see Flemeth with her arms crossed looking at the elf with disappointment. Everything is silent for a while, my pale eyes look around and I can see some buildings floating in the sky. A shiver runs through my body and I turn my attention back to the two and see Flemeth is looking at me. Despite the odd feeling she gives me I am not afraid. Slowly, the older woman turns and gracefully makes her way towards me. I can't say her ability to move like she is gliding is surprising, her age doesn't define her. She crouches in front of me and what surprises me is how gentle she is when she touches my cheeks. Her eyes show what look like sadness.

"I am sorry child, for this fools selfishness. I know the pain of death well. It is not something a mortal should _live_ through." Her voice comes out smoothly. "Even after all these years you never learn…" Her head turns and she glares at Falon'Din whom flinches and looks away.

"Even I cannot reverse this." Her voice has the slightest bit of disgust. Looking back at me she takes her hands away and stands before pulling me up. "You don't know what you have done old friend. You are no longer you. Both you are connected, like a heart to a body. She is now a part of you as you are to her. You have brought someone into your own mess for such a selfish reason!" Saying this she walks back over and I can feel power radiating off of her. Even Falon'Din can't seem to say anything to her.

"When will this end? When will you learn from your mistakes?" As Flemeth says this she reaches up and cups Falon'Din's cheeks. Turning my head, my eyes widen as I catch sight of someone. I feel excitement and speed walk over to them. Her purple skin has a slight glow to it and the soft pink flame that sits atop her head flickers. Her black and purple eyes find me and a smile shows sharp glittering teeth. "Rose!" I whisper scream and I finally stand by her.

The desire demon tilts her head. "You seem stressed Lotus." She states in a low smooth voice and she glides over to me and hugs my head which reaches her chest. I flail around. "Stop your breasts will smother me. I don't want to become tranquil because I died from boobs!" I squawk. I hear a snort and she releases me.

Moving away slightly I cross my arms. "So see anyone interesting lately?" I question her.

"Well…" She starts off well glancing around with what seems boredom. Finally she turns her attention to me and smiles with bloodlust. "This elf has begun to contact me. It is the usual, he wants power." She looks down at her long sharp nails, her tail flicks around.

"Are you going to help him? Rose… You know even if you get the body you will be cut down. I know you may not consider me a friend but I don't want you to disappear because someone is selfish and stupid. I am sorry that I can't always control my powers, if I could I would show you everything I have seen. I would travel around so I could show you, Natsu, Donut, and everyone else everything I have seen." Saying this, I look away and see Falon and Flemeth still speaking.

I hear a sigh and look back at the purple demon. "Friend is not a word I will become accustomed to. Through the years and many failed attempts I have never been able to sway you. It became a game which I enjoy though the joy was different. I am not sure… Arinda. We cannot change our attributes."

Looking down, I jump when a hand touches my shoulder. Glancing over, I see Falon'Din. His emotions look all mixed up. "You will be staying with… Flemeth until you are ready to bond with a dragon. She requests that you help her though."

Tilting my head I raise a brow. "With what? What could a magical witch who has other worldly powers need _me_ to do?"

I blink. He blinks. "Chores." He answers.

 _Are you serious?_


	19. Chapter 19

**To all of my friends, followers, and reviewers! Thank you and hello! Welcome back and here is the next chapter. Are you guys excited? Only a few more chapter till Origins starts! Yay!**

 **Now a big thank you to ibdenented, DarkDust27, Syutaku, fishy7073, MIX400, LullabyeStump, Fredegar, Ultra Nebula, nafara, StarGazerKitsune, AnnaRee, TrulyNocturnal, Aryabloodlust, and Rubeale! I am extremely grateful to you all for follow the story! I hope you will continue to enjoy this story!**

 **The amazing awesome Lee Totema Beta's**

(9:29 Dragon)

* * *

"Hop to it girl. We don't have all day, by the time you're done I will be dust!" The crackly voice gripes at me. My eye twitches and I open one of them well glancing at the evil witch lady. Her yellow eyes show amusement "I highly doubt that. I doubt death could kill you. Freaking crazy old bat…" I murmur the last part yet hear a soft snort not far off. Opening both of my eyes I look over and see Morrigan watching with a smirk. I stick my tongue out at her, the smirk leaves but she still rolls her eyes and shakes her head well turning. The raven haired female rolls her shoulders before moving forward slightly, and then she is a wolf running into the woods.

I feel a smack to the back of my head and I mutter a low 'ow' and then glare up at Flemeth. Sighing I turn my attention back to the odd glowing crystal and settle myself once more. I bring my hands to hover around the murky purple crystal and begin to concentrate. After one whole year of Flemeth teaching me magic I can feel the odd mana run through my whole body and soul. Instead of pulling it like I use to now I guide it. Shape it into what I want and what it is. I am by no means an expert but I seem to have a knack for magic. Though I have almost blown myself up a multitude of times. Much to Morrigan's amusement.

That girl was a bitch at first, in the whole sense. She would push me and act like I was hogging her mother's attention (I kind of was) she was almost jealous. I think she was, Flemeth treats me more gently then she does to her own daughter. I can't comprehend why the woman would do that.

Breathing out I close my eyes and in the darkness I can almost see a soft purple glow. Slowly and gently I reach towards it and a small tendril of purple moves from the orb and wiggles around. Opening my eyes I focus intently on the crystal and soon a purple glow comes from my hands and moves towards the crystal. Once it wraps around the crystal I feel as if something foreign is trying to probe my brain. I always have trouble will this part. I don't like letting things in, whether it is a person or not.

"Do not fight the feeling, you must create a bond with it or you will destroy it. It may even destroy you." Flemeth's voice is stern but she isn't pushy. She says her words only once but she says it in such a way that if you really want to learn then you _will_ learn. My brows furrow and I twist my head, I am scared. I don't know why. Blinking I open my eyes the instant the crystal shatters. Biting my lip I frown and stare down at my hands as I flex them. I can't figure out how to let that thing in.

A soft hum and I turn and see Flemeth with her hand on her chin thinking "I think you will learn from experience. Head towards the Hinterlands and you will find your match." I blink. I know I am not ready, unlike a crystal if I fail to bond with a dragon I am pretty sure I will be destroyed.

"Leaving so soon is she?" A voice calls out. I turn and stand up, despite Morrigan's supposed sassy attitude we get along swimmingly. The girl gold eyes look curiously at me to the shattered remains of the crystal "even though she cannot even finish her training?"

Flemeth throws her head back and laughs, her daughter shows a face of annoyance "She reminds me of you dear girl. If that is so I think it is best if she learns how you did. You both will be making your way to the Hinterlands tomorrow to find her dragon. It will be fun for you both. Do try to get along girl." The elder woman almost sneers.

The black haired girl's eyes widen and she squawks "What! Why do I have to go!?"

"Obviously I would die alone." I state with my own hands on my hips.

In return Morrigan give me a look "Don't sound so proud when you say that. It disgusts me."

I can't help but laugh at her face. She rolls her eyes before storming up to the house "Don't forget to pack dear." Flemeth says with a cackle. Morrigan replies with a grunt and I bow forward laughing. The door slams and I stand up straighter. My smile slowly fading.

"Flemeth… how is my dad?" I mumble feeling guilty.

"He will stay until you arrive. I have made sure of that." I can hear the smugness in her voice. Which seems to worry me, I hope she didn't do anything weird to my dad. Sighing quietly to myself I shake my head and bring my hand up. Ruffling my hair, I glance up at the slightly purple blue sky and shiver. Lately there have been very few birds flying around. I already know what the reason is and I am dreading it; it is so close to the time when everything starts.

"It's almost here…" Whispering this I wince and look down well clenching my hand. A snort follows and I look over and see Flemeth too staring up at the sky mournfully. Even though I can see sadness I can also see something akin to pride. It is an odd mix and I shy away from her look.

An airy chuckle and her crackly voice follow "Dear, this war was already in motion years ago. The symptoms are only now being noticed. Do well to look up and not down or you will fall and _never_ get back up."

Turning sharply on my heals I quickly make my way to the shed. Even though the witch is kind to me there are times she makes me uncomfortable. For some reason she has never scared me; I think that is from dying once already. What can I fear from her? Torture; I have already been through that once.

Making a disgusted noise I push the door open with a scowl and make my way to my bed. Grabbing my bag, I take everything out and separate my clean and dirty clothes. I hear someone clear their throat and I turn my head "Yes Morrigan?" biting my lip I blink and look away.

"Sorry, I didn't mean-" I try again.

"Come, we can wash clothes after dinner. Let us bathe before supper." As she says this she grabs some of her clothes along with a towel and moves further to the back. I was rather surprised when I first got here; in the back of the shed is a small door about my height. Opening that you find yourself out side; well almost. There are deer skin wrapping around a five foot five area.

The raven haired woman twists her hands and three lanterns light up. A soft glow and I turn towards the large metal tub. I see the outline of Morrigan as she undresses and makes her way into the water. Her pale skin glimmers softly. I will admit that she is very alluring, her voice can become nasty, such as when I first met her. When she is comfortable though it is soft and deep, her golden eyes are mysterious and playful. Though I have grown accustomed to her charm.

"Don't stand there all night Ari, you know how mother is." I can't help but laugh at the way she says 'mother' it always sounds both endearing and irritated.

Setting my clothes on a table near me I quickly shrug off my clothes and untie my hair from its bun. Climbing in the water I am happy that it is lukewarm, Morrigan must have boiled some of the water. Turning my back to the other I splash my face well frowning.

My body twitches slightly as I feel fingers run through my hair "I will wash your hair." She says it in such a bossy way. In truth that is another girly thing she loves, hair and jewelry. Though she would rather do others hair then her own.

Licking my lips, I bite it will my mind gets to work, despite me not paying attention my body moves on its own. Leisurely grabbing a rag and washing myself. What Flemeth has me doing is very dangerous; it also requires blood magic. Though out of the usual context. I must bond with the dragon, give them my own flesh and blood.

Sighing I shake my head, now is not a good time to think on this. I will rile myself up and won't get any sleep. I feel the elder woman's fingers rake through my hair one more time "Tis done. Such a pity, you care so little for your hair…" Her voice trails off but I know she has no intention of continuing.

Rolling my eyes I move my jaw in slight annoyance and keep my words as soft as I can "There are more important things to worry about then hair Morrigan."

I hear a sardonic hum "Really? Tell me more, I had no idea!"

Turning quickly water splashes out over the edge and I bare my teeth "Do not belittle me girl!" The words are out before I can think properly. Consciously I have to bite my lip from saying more. Falon'Din and my emotions seem to be raging against each other along with mixing. As troubling as that is Flemeth told me that it was normal, it is a process. That did not console me yet the old bat didn't bother to explain more.

Snapping my head away I jump over the edge and grab the towel. I can feel my hand tremble with rage. Squeezing my eyes shut my teeth press harder on my lip, threatening to break skin.

' _You are not me. I am not you. So stop reacting to things that have nothing to do with you!'_ Hissing this in my head I slouch forward well rubbing my neck with one hand. All I can think is that this is getting ridiculous. For some reason I have been losing my temper lately, and _I_ have a lot of patience. My other hand clenches the towel tightly to my body and I feel guilt begin to rise.

As my anger passes along with the adrenaline my body shivers. Winter passed not that long ago so the air still has a slight bite to it. Swallowing I turn slowly and my pale eyes stare blankly at the dark haired witch. Gold eyes stare like a hawk. Flinching away I tilt my head and drop my hand.

"Be grateful I am more understanding. I may not know exactly what mother is playing at but I doubt anyone ever will. Your temperament is not your own and won't be; your magic has begun to fluctuate. If not for mother Templar's would be upon us." Her words come out cold but with no real anger.

Despite knowing she is not really mad I can't help but feel shame. I have been losing my temper with both women lately, I know that is not fully the magic. I am just getting tired of everything, the swamp has bugs all over and I never get a good night's rest. My whole body has begun to feel numb, most times I can't feel anything other than a burning sensation. Still like now I can feel a slight breeze and the cold air. If not for Flemeth I know I would be dead; the magic would have killed me.

"I will not pretend to know what is going on, nor will I ask. Everyone has secrets Arinda. One thing I do know is you seem to be holding the world on your shoulders even as I deny it." The woman starts slowly and her voice takes on a softer tone. Even as she tries she still sounds awkward "I am not always kind nor understanding. I will however always be here when you are in need. That is what… sisters do. That is how I see you and I."

Sucking in a breath I can feel my eyes sting but I let out the breath and bring my eyes up to her blazing gold orbs. I can see the deep concern she shows, the affection she holds for me. I now know that I want to tell her.

"Let us go in. I would rather not talk about _this_ in the nude." I state softly well turning on my heels and heading inside. Despite magic being a part of my life for a couple years now I still feel the slight surprise when I actually _feel_ it. The tingle starts on my arms as I pass through the door and spreads throughout my body. I can feel everything again in that instant; though it leaves soon enough and then I feel empty.

Padding over to my chest I crouch and grab my clothes, swiftly if not messily throwing them on. Turning I begin running my fingers through my hair, my wet locks getting tangled as I do so. My eyes fall on Morrigan who is dressing at a much more leisure pace. Moving back slightly I sit atop my chest and heave a sigh.

"Do you ever wonder about death Morrigan? The feeling before or right after you die?" I question in a soft voice. Even I can hear the odd lilt I speak in.

My eyes are focused on the ceiling and I can hear the other pause in dressing herself. The rustling of clothes continue shorty after "Everyone has thought upon that topic once in their life. It is a difficult thing to not think of with the death around us."

Biting my lip my eyes slowly start to fall down and look at the witch "I felt cold inside. I am not sure if I can call it terror or fear. It was something more profound, something more powerful. Knowing that you are going to die. Then it was over. My life was cut short _that_ easily. It was like picking a flower; like it had no meaning! Because it never did, I never did." My soft voice began to raise slightly and was becoming hysterical. Even remembering now hurt.

"They tortured us and hurt us! They watched us scream and cry and some even begged. They didn't care, we hurt so much and they only did it because they could. We weren't an example, they didn't kill us because we angered them. We were nothing and they wanted us to know that." Before I realized it my hands were gripping my hair and my nails were digging into my scalp.

"After the agony they just killed us. I don't even know what happened to my body. It might not have even been found. No one would care though, I was nothing. I never had a family, to busy trying to be someone to make a friend." My breath was shaky.

My eyes flicker up and I am surprised to see Morrigan kneeling before me. Her hands touching my shoulders gently "Then I open my eyes and I am in an amazing world. It was bland except for a lone rainbow light far off. I was alone but I was content. Even that was taken from me, I was pulled to this world. This world filled with more death then life. More hate then love and more corruption than anyone knows to do with."

My tanned yet thinly scarred hand comes up and I gently touch her pale face "This shouldn't be real. None of this. I would rather hope I am mad and dreaming all of you up." Pulling my hand away I touch my chest and dig my fingers into my flesh "But this pain… this fucking pain I felt. It is real and I hate it, I know everything is real and I am not ready. I am not ready for all of the deaths. I am not ready to watch the people I care about die. Dying… I am fine with. The physical pain I have dealt with; I don't know how to deal with losing everyone. I never had anyone to care about before, never felt love or fear of this kind and I… _I don't know what to do._ _ **I'm scared**_ " I am breaking with each word. My voice has become hoarse and I grip onto Morrigan's shoulders as the tears fall.

My head falls forward and I stare at the ground as my tears fall "I am supposed to be some kind of being, something not mortal. Show another what mortal's are like, the love, hate, life, and death. Yet at every turn I can feel darkness creeping in. My own hate and disgust piling up. I let so many people die; so many more will perish and I am supposed to be some type of God!? I don't want to do this anymore; I would rather die. Why… Why should I continue living? If I am just going to die…" Whispering this, I break into sobs. My chest clenches and I feel like I can't get enough air.

I can almost feel the warmth and soon it spread so fast around my body. Like someone is hugging my soul. Morrigan's scent is strong and I can hear her smooth voice whispering "It is not how you die, nor how you live. It is how you try, even if you fail, all the mistakes, all the pain and scars show that you had your own battles. You more than anyone, so even if your destiny is to die. Live how you want to, whether it is saving people or damning them. I will be here always, to watch you. I am no saint nor are you. So don't try and be something you are not, be you. The bad and the good, for no one will know if you destroyed the world." Despite the odd words I can't help the warmth the fills my heart. She is telling me that no matter what I do she will always be there for me. I am not a child, god, elf, or anything magical. That is something I wanted to hear, something I need.

* * *

Somehow without knowing I either fell asleep or Morrigan did a sleeping spell. The fade greets me and I sigh. Glancing around I could see that I was in a forest, lights floating around. The trees were a soft blue color and the trunk looked to be white. The trunk was made up of a few smaller roots that twisted around each other and then spread out to become branches.

The sight around me is truly beautiful, looking up a soft purple fog hung above the tree's. With the soft glowing yellow lights it almost seems like night time in a forest. Sitting down I lean against a tree and pull my legs up to my chest. Soon I begin to hum to myself and stare up watching the lights dance around.

Not knowing how much time passes I finch and look over as a bush rustle. I blink, they blink. It looks like a bear, it doesn't have any spikes but I still have no idea what it is. Finally the creature turns its head and lets out a long sigh, for some reason I feel offended.

"What? What was that sigh for?" I question.

The bear thing looks back at me, its red eyes look up and down my form before shaking its head and sighing again. My eyes are about bug out and I jump up "The hell is that for!?" The thing turns and disappears behind the bush "Oh hell no! Come back here you bastard!" I yell and take off after the creature. Agilely I jump over the bush and see it walking away. I hear it let out a groan and look over its shoulder. Flopping down the thing just lays without making anymore movement.

Slowing down I walk over and stand about two feet before sitting down and staring more intently at its face. It has short deep brown fur on its whole body but nose and ears, they are a soft grey color. It blood red eyes don't look particularly evil, more annoyed then anything.

"What do you want… Mortal?" Each word seems like it is a job to say.

"Nothing, you irritated me so I am returning the favor." My voice comes out petulant.

Another sigh and the deep voice speaks again "You'd think…" a yawn interrupts "that most mortals are afraid of us demons." It murmurs before resting its head on its paws.

I can't help but raise an eyebrow "I have never been afraid of demons. I am more afraid of mortals then a demon. Demons can't do much unless you let them in; mortals however don't need permission to kill." Saying this I look back up.

"Indeed…" It yawns once more. Looking down I see its eyes looking more intently at me.

"Do you have a name?" I question "Mine is Arinda Alma Tethras."

Tilting its head at me and snuffles briefly "I am Sloth."

"That is not a name, it is an attribute or more like a title." Stating this I tilt my head and smile at it. I don't know why but this whole situation just was comical. The aggravation was dripping off of it.

A long and not needed sigh follows and I just smile and stare. The bear thing watches me for a few minutes and slowly lowers its head "Do you… need something mortal?"

"My name is Arinda, please use it."

"Why?"

In return I let out a sigh "Because it is only polite. To call someone by their own given name. Would you like me to call you Bear or something?" My voice becomes sarcastic. Despite that the creature merely yawns and licks its chops and settles its head on its paws. Letting out a soft sigh I shake my head before I feel a tremble "I do hope to see you again Sloth." Stating this I feel something similar to a shock.

* * *

Blinking blearily up I see a set of gold eyes staring down at me. Huffing to myself I bring my hand up and rub my eyes "Morrigan." Murmuring this I pause as a yawn interrupts my words. Smacking my lips together I blink rapidly to get rid of the tears that gather with the yawn. "Did you sleep well?"

The young woman nods as she assesses me, gold eyes glimmer briefly "I slumbered soundly, as you seem to have as well." Her words came out soft and for just a moment they show unconditional love before they become guarded "Tis early and I suspect mother may shoo us if we don't leave soon. Let us eat and be off!" Morrigan's words are strong and even I can see the slight excitement.

The raven haired woman does get to leave the shed we live in but only to go as far as Lothering. I find it amusing as she is old enough to make choices for herself yet Flemeth tends to keep her on a tight leash. Though I kind of know the reason why. Tilting my head, I show a goofy smile and hum. Pushing myself up I run my fingers through my hair to get rid of the tangles. As I swing my legs off the bed I sigh; moving off the bed I get up and begin to gather clothes.

A few shirts and pants, gloves and some wraps for my feet. I now have some of those fancy elf shoes thanks to Flemeth. I put a small map that I drew in the bag, a few more basic necessities. Once that is over I quickly slip on some dull green pants that reach the middle of my calf. The elf shoes are on and the pants tucked in; a grey shirt and I sling the bag over my shoulder and head out of the cottage. I pause and look out and can see Morrigan talking to Flemeth. Despite everything the older woman is saying the raven haired woman is smiling.

As I make my way over I can't help the soft smile that shows, even if the reasons for the adventure are bad at least it brings a little freedom to Morrigan. Flemeth turns to look at me and shows a smile also, it is different though. It isn't evil or soft, it almost seems _proud_. "Now look who is up, you will be late if you don't leave now."

"Lovely… You tell us now. I would say something but… I can only assume something I need is somewhere and if I don't go now, it will be gone." Stating this I hurry forward and grab some bread, cheese, and fruit. I begin to nibble on them as I turn my pale gaze to the goddess. Gold eyes take me in and once more the smile shows "Very clever you are. Only if others minds worked the same."

I snort and almost choke on the piece of bread "If more people were like me we would be fighting two wars now." I let out a few more coughs and take the wooden cup of water with a nod. A cackle follows and I hear a sigh from Morrigan. I set the cup down and take the brown deer skin back Flemeth hands me "Put your food in this dear, it will allow food to stay fresh longer. These water skins would do you good too. Now go on we haven't got too much time for you, soon you will perish. I didn't put all the effort in just for you to die."

I barely grab the water skins before Flemeth is pushing both Morrigan and I away. Blinking quickly I feel a fog enter my mind "Oh for the-" Morrigan starts but soon enough we both stumble and I can see again. Frowning I turn and open my mouth; I am not even surprised to see nothing behind us. No shed like home, almost no trees. "That hag!" I snap and turn to Morrigan who has her arms crossed and looks exceptionally irritated.

Letting a breath out I roll my eyes "Please… tell me you know where we are going." I ground out. I have a general idea from my memories but I know enough of this world to know this is no longer a story or game. Too much has happened that shouldn't (being me) and I don't want to rely on things that _might_ happen.

"Before we were shipped off mother mentioned that we should look at the Hinterlands, south of Redcliffe" as the witch speaks I reach into my pack and pull out the map. Opening it I show her "That narrows it down to… Not a lot. Still it is better than searching the whole damn area." Huffing I point to an area that seems to have a lot of ponds or lakes all very close. "Why don't we start here?" I question.

"It is as good as any place to start."

"Alright, would you like to lead?" Asking her I hold the map out. I can see the slight hesitation "Morrigan, believe me. She isn't following us. You are the elder and I think you have a right to act as one… For now" She grabs the map and hits me on the head for the last part but I can see the smile.

Opening it up she glances up at the sun than at the map before nodding to herself. "We must head southwest for now. It seems we are rather close to the ruins of Ostagar." I pause. Looking forward I squint and nod, I can faintly see the random parts protruding from the ground and swamp area.

"Would you like to look around here? There is a lot to study from this." I look at her and she stops and looks around.

"Time is of the essence, there is always… another time for me." Her voice is soft "For you however there may not be, this time." I swallow and lick my lip. Glancing around I bite my lip and begin to follow Morrigan. I take a sniff of the air, faintly I can smell it. Death, corrupted and rotten. Not like the corpse but something more. "Morrigan, we should keep our eyes open." I flinch at the way my voice wavers. There is less than two years before the fifth blight.

"Hm? Why is that?" Her voice is not uninterested but she is more interested in the map.

My gaze sweeps the area and I keep my eyes open, listening to each creak of the sparse trees and each moan of the wind. From the years of training my steps become lighter. I can see Morrigan's body tense as she continues to move. Despite most people's thoughts of mages I know for one both Morrigan and I train both our minds, bodies and spirits. "There are darkspawn about sister…" I breath out. I can feel my skin crawl.

Morrigan continues to move and stares down at the map for a few more minutes before she puts it in her pack. She has memorized where we must go. Her steps become lighter and I can see her hand is loose by her side, ready to grab the staff on her back if need be. I reach into my back and grab my own knuckle daggers and clip them to my thighs.

A breath and I relax just a tiny bit. The air is crisp, cool and open. I was starting to get claustrophobic staying in that small area all the time. Glancing up at the sun I can only guess it is probably around seven or eight in the morning. Looking back at the woman I speed up to catch up to her.

"Say… Morrigan?"

She tilts her head slightly and look at me "Yes?"

Looking forward I glance to the left "They are gathering an army. It will start soon, you need to prepare yourself." I state simply while glancing forward once more.

* * *

As night fell both Morrigan and I set up camp. We both agreed it would be wise to not use a fire. We both may be strong mages but we would have to worry about Darkspawn, Wolves, bandits and Templars. For now, we have a harmless fire that Morrigan came up with that just floats and lets off a little bit of heat. It doesn't burn anything; it is semi-sentient like a wisp. We set up the tent and the fire is inside (it doesn't burn things it touches but if it does touch something it always goes out.)

"I'll keep first watch." Saying this I turn and move so I am just outside the tent. Bringing my hand and stare at it before I slowly open it with my palm up. I feel a tingling sensation and soon enough a pull at my navel and there glowing a soft green a wisp. It sits in my palm and almost seems to snuggle down into it.

"Hello friend" I whisper gently. It lets out a slightly stronger glow and I smile "I must as a great favor of you" It floats up and I can feel the simple emotion of 'help' it wants to help. "Watch the other side of this tent. If you see another mortal or something that is dangerous please hurry over to me." The green wisp floats up more and zooms around my head a few more time before it is making its way on the other side of the tent. "Thank you."

Looking up I glance around, even with how dark it is I can still see quite a bit. The moon is out but the night is slightly cloudy so the light from it isn't much. Hours pass on and nothing happens. Soon enough I crawl into the tent after five hours and gently shake Morrigan "Your turn. A wisp is helping, it will inform you if something is amass on the other side of the tent." Stating this quickly I lay down and shut my eyes. It doesn't take long for sleep to follow.

* * *

I flinch slightly as I am shook awake, but I sit up. Rubbing my eyes my face scrunches up and I look up to see Morrigan. "We are in luck. A rabbit hopped right into a fire ball." I gave her a blank look before shaking my head. "Wake up and take the tent down well I cook it." Nodding I stretch some and make my way out of the tent. Looking over I see the raven haired girl preparing the food.

Turning I begin to disassemble the tent quickly and yawn once. Today seems like it will be a mild day; the air is warm but with a slight wind. Humming to myself I pack up the tent and grab both our bags. Making my way over I sit on one of the logs the older witch has set out "Thank you." I say as she hands me some fruit and a piece of cooked rabbit.

"It would be wise of us to gather some potion ingredients around here as we go along" Morrigan speaks up. I raise an eye brow but nod, that is a rather smart idea. I can think of a few plants we will need; Arbor Blessing, Crystal Grace, Embrium, and Elfroot.

"We should head out now. With luck we can be there by tomorrow morning." I state well I stand up still eating my food. The dark haired woman nods and she too stand up. I walk beside her and she hands me her food to hold. Once more she gets the map out and looks at it before turning slightly to the right and heading on. Handing her food back I finish mine.

We both converse as we continue to walk, magic, Flemeth, Spirits, and random talks, even small snip bits of girl talk. It is an odd feeling, being free, happy talking, yet at the same time a time limit till I die.

Morrigan stops mid-sentence and I pause in my steps and tilt my head. Faintly the sound of footsteps can be heard, a low groaning sound can be heard too. Chewing on my lip I glance at my companion and shake my head. We both hurry forward and climb a separate tree, luckily we actually hit an area that has forest, full leaf trees.

We each climb a separate tree, as I get to the middle that's when I can hear it more. A creaking step and breathing that sounded like something was raddling in a lung. I couldn't help the shiver of fear run up my spine. I don't think I am afraid of them, more so I remember what they did. As I bite my lip I shiver and peer down. This is when I see a Hurlock and only what I can assume a Genlock. They are a lot bigger than I thought it would be.

I stop myself from taking a shaking breath; the Genlock looks to be as tall as a dwarf even as it is hunched over on all fours. Spikes are upon its back and its mouth is rotted and covered in blood. Bringing my hand up I cover my mouth and nose as the smell gets to me. Despite the fear I am a lot calmer now than when I was young facing them.

Shaking my head, I glance around more to see if others are about. Looking as far as I can I don't see or hear anything else in the vicinity. Turning my eyes back to the other witch in the tree I nod my head to her and bring my finger up to my mouth in a sign of silence. Pointing back down to the Genlock I point to me and look at the Hurlock and point to her. Morrigan nods to me; she brings her hands up and I turn back to the Darkspawn. I feel my stomach clench and hold myself back from coughing.

Clenching my hands, I lick my lips before grabbing my daggers. I can feel the cool metal and thrum of enchantments even through my gloves. That's when I hear a soft shriek and see the Hurlock start to stumble around. Morrigan has hit it with a stunning spell. Hurriedly I glance down and see the Genlock has stopped moving in confusion. Taking my chance, I move across the branch swiftly and soon I am flying through the air over the creature.

My feet hit its back soon and I don't waste time as I impale my blades in the area around its neck. I push with the momentum of my fall before using my feet to push myself forward and off the beast. My blades make a disgusting wet noise as they are removed from the leathery flesh, landing on the ground I roll before popping up on my feet. Doing an instant turn on my toes I can just see the Genlock zero in on me.

It seems to actually have emotion, rage mostly showing in its eyes. I don't bother to stare and shoot forward around a tree. I can't deny the slight squeak I let out as I can hear it thundering behind me. ' _This was a terrible idea. Why didn't we just wait?_ ' Thinking this I weave in and around trees in an arc, I don't want to be too far away from Morrigan. Pieces of wood fly around as the Genlock slams brutally into a tree. I pick up speed and can see the Hurlock waving its sword around a tree well Morrigan smirks down at it. Angling myself forward I push my legs harder and get my daggers ready.

The creature turns around and it looks wild, it swings its sword in a wide arc. Slipping under it I can feel adrenaline, I bring my blade up and slam it will all my strength into the underside of its jaw. I push until my hand is touching it. The Hurlock's whole body does a twitch, this is when I bring my other dagger up and smash the blade into its temple, dark purple blood starts to come out of its mouth. This close to it, seeing and feeling everything it is, I can't contain the gag. Swallowing thickly, I yank a few times on the dagger in its jaw, it grinds against the bone but is pulled free. Dark maroon blood starts pouring out, jumping back away from it I can't hold my other dagger as the whole weight of the Darkspawn falls on me. I however get out of the way as it falls but not before seeing the Genlock charging at me.

A weak squeal escapes me and I roll out of the way, not before it slams into the tree and pretty much crushes its _comrade_ beneath it. This is when I see shock on Morrigan's face as she falls out of the tree from the impact. Everything seems to freeze as the large creature turns its attention to the dark haired human now laying on the ground.

My hands begin to feel numb and an odd sensation seems to thrill through my body. The pale creature begins to lumber over to Morrigan and I can see the wide eyed fear from here. Clenching the lone dagger in my right hand I glance down and can see sparks, lighting, begin to run up and down the metal. ' _now or never_ ' I think before lunching myself forward. I position myself slightly to the left and run to a tree. I plant one foot against the base of a tree and push off of it, I head straight for the beast. Bringing my left hand forward I stop myself from sailing over as I dig my fingers into the wound I made. I sit myself on the back of the Genlock as it stops moving and bring my other hand up to grab my dagger and raise it above my head. I snarl " **You will not touch her!** " The words echo and it as if they hold power.

Slamming the blade down the dagger smashes viciously into the skull of the Darkspawn. From the power I am pushed back and fly off. Landing on the ground I push myself up slightly with wide eyes and watch as the creature raises its head, soon it falls violently to the ground and spasms once or twice. Weakly I push myself up to stand and stumble over to Morrigan who seems to be in shock. I reach towards her but pause, my hands are covered in Darkspawn blood. A snort comes from me before I just fall and land on my butt in front of her.

Taking a breath I frown "I know you're in shock… I am too. We must move though, we have made a lot of noise and we don't want others to find us here." I state simply. Even I am surprised at how calm my voice sounds. "I need to find a river to get this… blood off. Are you hurt?"

Blinking slowly Morrigan looks at me "You… No, I am only sore from the fall. A few scrapes but nothing I cannot heal. Come, there are small ponds if we continue forward." Saying this she shakes her head and stands up. Nodding I too stand before making my way over to the two dead creatures ' _That was a lot of luck…_ ' I think as I begin to dislodge my weapon one at a time from the beasts. It was difficult as my hands were smothered in their blood. After some time I did get my dagger, I however held them. I didn't want to get my pants and weapon holster messed up too much. Looking up I stare at the sky, a light orange color. Still it did not calm me with the stench surrounded the area.

"Are you coming?" Looking over my shoulder I see Morrigan weighting. Her expression seems unguarded though, calmer. The happiness I felt earlier is gone "Yes." I state and begin to follow her.

* * *

We manage to hit one of the rivers that run across the land a little before the large pond area. I take off my cloak and set it down at the camp Morrigan is setting up. Walking over to the water I kneel forward and begin to rub my hands together in the water. The liquid is cool against my flesh, the blood of the Darkspawn was starting to sting. Once I get the blood of I begin to rinse off my face and clean my weapons. A damp fabric gently rubbed over my daggers before I use some oil to clean the rest of the residue off. Once finished I strip the clothes off as they have splashes of blood on them. Wadding into the water I begin to scrub them with a hard bristle brush.

Finished with my chore I make my way over and Morrigan is there, throwing some pants and a shirt at me. I nod in thanks and dress myself quickly, the atmosphere is not tense but far from calm. Settling myself down on a log I look at her "You have something to say." Rubbing my hands together I glance forward at the fire she has made. Once the adrenaline left I felt slightly cold, my body was odd. Reaching into my pack I pull out some of the fruit and begin to munch on them.

"The magic you used… to kill the Genlock-" Blinking I look up at the other woman.

"Magic? I used magic?"

"Tis true, it was very similar to Force Magic I believe. It is a… hard magic to explain and harder to have control over. One must have precise control of their magic to achieve this." She explains as she stares at the fire. Pausing in her speech she glances up at me, her eyes show concern along with curiosity.

"It's a wonder you did what you did; even by accident. It is rather… fascinating. I have tried but never been able to gain the abilities. Mother has told me that being controlling is different than being in control, and you must be in control to use it. I don't think I will ever be able to use it, at least not to its full capabilities." Morrigan stands up and begins to stir the contents, in the small pot.

The woman stops and seems to be thinking, trying to find a way to word something "Force mages… Are very fearsome. They bend the very nature of magic itself, some would say it is telekinesis." Bending down Morrigan stops talking and I think that is all she is planning on saying in the matter.

Casting my eyes at the ground I begin to think, it is true that I felt different. Though all I could think is that I would rather not die at this time. I don't want Morrigan to die either. Chewing on my lip I finish the fruit in my hand and stand up; brushing the dirt off of my butt "I will look around for some of the potion ingredients" I inform her. I get a hum in response.

Walking forward I being to search around the area, not too far, still able to see the camp. Quickly enough I stumble on some soft green vine like plants, Elfroot. Kneeling down I begin to work on getting the root out. The whole plant can be used for different things. After grabbing four I make my way back and see that Morrigan has put the fire out and has a bowl set on a stump. She nods to me with appreciation and she grabs the plants "I have already ate, finish your bowl as I take care of these" she says to me.

Humming I grab the bowl and it, the liquid is a murky tan color, I can see a few small carrot chunks and what is probably left over rabbit. Brining the bowl to my mouth I slowly begin to sip it, chewing the whole food. It doesn't have much flavor but gives me the nutrients I need. Finishing the food I stand up and make my way over to the river once more but slightly more up stream. Rinsing the bowl, I walk back to Morrigan as she is just finishing her work up. Putting the bowl in my pack I get it on my back and situate it. Making my way over to the witch I pause as she holds a small tin container out to me along with two small vials that emit a soft blue green glow.

"I have made a simple ointment, for rashes and small scraps and cuts. The vials are for the more serious injuries." Stating this I nod and put them also in my pack "Thank you."

"I believe we should push on now, no point in camping and being tired when we get there tomorrow. It would be wise to make it tonight and be ready and refreshed in the morn." Pausing I hum before shrugging.

"Either is fine, though it would be wise to be more awake when I perform the ritual." Asserting this I glance around "Which way?" She nods her head and I follow. The area begins to get more humid and damp as we move further, surprisingly there are not swamps, the land isn't covered in water.

After five hours of walking I can see the reason, we are in some sort pond like area- however there are pockets of land that shoot up hot steam. We both nod as we stop at the edge of one of the many pond like areas. Setting our packs down (and stuffed into a bush) we glance around.

An earth shattering shriek echoes around and I flinch well squeezing my eyes shut. As the sound ends I glance with a look of fright at the dark witch and her expression mirrors mine. Yet another shrill sounds comes again, yet this time it sounds different. I swear I can almost hear crying "It is crying…"

"What?" Blinking I glance over.

The sound comes out and it sounds worse and I can feel my heart hurt _**"Stop!"**_ I can hear it. I can feel panic in my chest "Someone is hurting it!" I shout. I move forward, through the water towards where I know it is. The dragon.

"For the…" I can hear her say behind me but she is also following.

The water slows me down slightly but I don't let it distract me. As I get closer this is when I can hear laughter. People whooping and the Dragon. As I push forward and move around a large ledge I can see, a lone Dragon, drake carcasses laying around it along with a few humans. Despite the raw amount of bodies, I can see a few humans still alive. They are hacking at the Dragons legs, a mage firing at it with magic.

Raw magic thrums through me along with rage, my eyes widen and I tremble. Stalking forward I don't touch my daggers I don't need them. The air around my body seems to crackle, the battle seems to pause. Or perhaps I can no longer hear through my emotions. Though I see the Dragon herself look at me, emotions filter through me, not my own, and it feels as if I am being pulled. Time seems to stop.

The large beautiful creature turns its head and I can see a large cave not far off. Turning towards the area I can only guess that she has just settled down. By the few drakes surrounding her she has begun to mate. She has eggs. I need to save them. I nod and with that I turn and sprint off in the direction of the cave. I can hear yelling behind me. The anger is still burning through my veins but right now I have something more important than my own emotions.

I can hear yelling as I near it and the hatred and lit once more, a crack resounds around and echoes. Fear follows, I freeze for a second ' _they are destroying the eggs_ ' I shoot forward. The air fizzing around me, hot and deadly. I let out a scream of rage as I push through the cave and see the many eggs and partially grown dragonling's laying around. A lone dead Drake trying to protect them. My pale eyes zero in on two men. One holding a large hammer and another a large axe. Once more I am surprised as I was ten feet away and soon find myself right in front of them. I don't think much at it before my hand slams forward and the man begins to scream and fire erupts from my palm. Spinning and ducking I get scraped by the man with the axe but a similar fate awaits him as I grab his head between my hands and look straight at him. His scream echoes around and his skull begins to crack, eyes widening before they seem to start popping out but it all stops as ice explodes from his flesh. Blood cracks out but freezes. Dead.

Turning well still trembling I glance around, all the eggs, broken and cracked. I seem to feel empty, perhaps shock from killing two men? No. I turn as a low crow sound comes from the entrance. The Dragon crawls in. I blink at her; the battle outside is already done? Her bright green eyes regard me with suspicion but also sadness. I turn and clench my hands while walking around the cave. Everything is all too surreal. Young female dragons should be highly territorial, and aggressive. Yet she just seems sad and… Like a mother. She is a mother. Her children are dead.

That thought pauses as I come upon a small broken egg. Smaller than the others, it has a few cracks and looks like a small chunk has been cracked out. _"Touch it child… Touch it, it is alive."_ I can hear Falon'Din whisper softly. A sharp intake of breath and I reach out, my hand gently touches it and I can't help the sound. I feel like I can breathe, I can see, I am alive.

A low growl follows, shaking my head I look over and see the Dragon look at me. Her eyes look at the egg than back at me "It's alive" I whisper. Emotions once more explode from within, they aren't mine. "I can save them." Stating this I look at the Dragon and see a sad truth. She won't survive, the mother has been hurt too much. She coo's at me, deep in her throat. She closes her eyes and curls around us slightly. " **Save. Them.** " I can feel these words.

I feel out of my depth with this but I don't have much time. Turning my attention back to the egg, I sit down being bringing my hands up around the egg. I pause before finally touching it. Light explodes under my eye lids, I didn't know I closed them. Lights swirl around, I can feel something violently yanking at my core. It hurt, but it seems urgent, and frightened. Whatever it is, it is afraid. It seems to be searching and the only thing it found it me.

" _Remember don't let it overpower you, or it will destroy you. But you cannot over power it or you will destroy it. A delicate balance, that is all life really is girl. Not so difficult."_ I can hear Flemeth's voice in my head.

Quickly pushing down my panic I grab my power, but instead of trying to pull it back I feed it to the creature. Slowly, only giving them a little at a time. I begin to look within myself, I can see the purple flame but that is what the Dragonling is taking out of now. That is me, I need to give it the other power not mine.

As I look around more in this grey landscape, I can feel myself becoming weak though. My hands are colder. Turning I can see it, a gold and black flame swirling around, dancing. That is Falon'Din, as I move closer the flame gets bigger. Stopping I stare up at it, the power, it is terrifying yet oddly calming. Reaching my hand forward as I get closer a small ribbon of the flame seems to start curling and making its way towards me. As it touches my fingertips pain zips around my body, but only for a moment. The ribbon seems to go through me and travel to my own purple flame. It merges, I can feel power well up in my core but it makes me feel sick. The gold and black flame begins to get smaller as it is added into my own. Concentrating I slowly begin to feed the small Dragon more of the power, the power now merged with mine.

I do this for a little bit before I feel something just 'click' in me. I am suddenly pushed roughing and I open my eyes and find myself on my back. Blinking tiredly up at the ceiling of the cave. My sight slowly begins to focus and that is when I see something slightly spikey with scales laying on top of me. I lot out a hoarse squeak. The thing lifts it's head and that is when I am surprised. A baby Dragon, there is a small baby Dragon on me. About the size of a very large dog.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Shocked once more I look over and see Morrigan leaning against the wall. She has a smirk on her face looks away "Of course mother did not tell us that is ritual would take time…"

Opening my mouth I try to speak but my throat is dry clearing my throat a few times I finally get out "How long?"

Humming the witch looks back at me "I'd say around two to three months at a guess. It was alarming to be honest." I can't react to that statement. I know I probably feel shock but at the moment I just feel empty.

"Do not be concerned, at the moment you have both gained something. Your body is focusing on breaking down what that is. You also did lose mana and spirit if you will. It will take a week or two before you are fully recovered." Glancing back at the Dragon laying on top of me I see it is watching me. Its gold eyes shine brightly. I let my head drop against the ground, turning my head I can see that the Dragon's Mother is dead. She has not started rotting yet, which I am thankful for.

* * *

The two weeks have done wonders for me, I can feel again. My hands and feet are no longer numb and I just feel so much more alive and alert. The Dragonling as cheered me up a lot, it acts almost like a dog. Just in these two weeks it has grown from the size of a dog to the size of a horse. It still wants to cuddle which is daunting. After a whole month though it is about the size of a small boat now.

Stretching my hands up I glance over and see that Morrigan and the Dragon have returned from the hunt. Morrigan is very taken with it, she feeds it left overs, it is rather charming. Though she will always deny at. Walking over I can see that the Dragon has a buffalo tied to its body. I smirk and glance at Morrigan, she shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

We both get to work on the meat, taking about three days' worth for us and leave the rest for the Dragon to take. As we cook it I glance at the Dragon "It deserves a name I think…" I state.

Morrigan snorts "Truly? I would think he wouldn't care. Or perhaps you wish to treat it like a dog?"

I raise a brow "Shall I call you human than?" I question.

Her smirk falls and she frowns at me "Very well. I see your point."

Shaking my head, I roll my eyes at her antics and turn watching it eat "… Wait-" I turn back sharply to look at Morrigan. "He?"

An amused hum follows and I turn back to the Dragon "… Draco!" I shout with glee. I can hear Morrigan choke and I nod to myself. The Dragon pauses as he looks at me before I can see it in its eyes. "Draco it is." I smile and turn to give Morrigan a look of triumph.

"Anyways, he seems to be able to hunt relatively well, that along with having us. I think we can make the trip back to Flemeth no problem." Stating this I cock my head to the side. The dusky human shrugs "Now is as good as any." Nodding we both finish with taking care of the food and everything else.

"Morrigan…" I start. Thinking back on when I started merging with Draco I can't help but be worried.

"We have been over this, there is nothing wrong with you. You feel no guilt or sympathy for killing those men. Do not berate yourself over the matter. Don't feel guilt for killing dead men walking" She stops me from saying any more.

Biting my lip and I look around as we begin our trek back to the hut.


	20. Chapter 20

**Ahhh, sorry mate. It has been too long. A series of unfortunate events, that and my brain has decided it wants to kill me. So many fandoms and so much time. So I hope you all aren't too angry at me as I am working on a Harry Potter idea along with an Avengers story! (Plus a KHR idea has begun to sneak in through the fog). Too bad it will probably be quite a few months before I post any of those.**

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 **Beta Lee Totema**

* * *

(Late 9:29 to 9:30 Dragon)

Sitting atop a small hill near Flemeths hut, I stare up at the sky while hugging my knees to my chest. Being back for only a month I know I need to head home, something is nagging at the back of my head though. I am reluctant to go because of it, that along with being afraid of what will be waiting me when I get back. Blinking a few times, I tilt my head slightly as I hear footsteps. Soon though I look across the land as the elder mage stands by me.

"You are only as free as your heart lets you be. The heart is often a cruel and unfair thing, do well to remember this child." A large breath escapes and I look up at Flemeth. The cryptic talk has become old though I will always do my best to remember her words.

Swallowing, I bring my hand to my knees and push myself up with a grunt. Shaking my head, I clench my fist. "I already know that. The heart can make you feel things you never want. To do things you never would do. In the end, you may regret it or you may not, watching as your world burns." Each word is spoken from my heart. Indeed I know pain, yet I have a feeling I will know more come the next year.

A wistful laugh, soft and sad comes from the elder "You still have time. To feel more pain than any weapon can achieve though for your sake I hope not." We both turn and make our way back to the shed. Running my fingers through my now short and choppy hair, I enter the hut. I can feel the hum and tingle of the magic run through my skin, it is wonderful.

Pearl eyes meet gold and I am surprised by the raw emotion shown in them. "Morrigan, we _will_ see each other again. I promise." As I say this I walk over to the female with raven hair and awkwardly embrace her. My head resting on her chest. "Where is the woman with snappy lines and a mind as sharp as a sword?" I joke.

"Oh jest some more. Sorry I feel any emotion to see you leave sister." Morrigan hisses but I can hear her let out a small chuckle. Her arms wrap around me gently and for a moment I feel an odd sadness. Though she soon lets me go and I back up and look at her. For one tiny second I can see a storm of intense emotions that take my breath away.

Smiling, I turn and look at Flemeth. "Thank you. You have done a lot for me when you had no reason to help." I mean that in two senses. I bow slightly. "Please be safe, both of you." Stressing this to them, I bite my lip. Straightening myself, I turn and grab the pack that is sitting on my bed. Flemeth and Morrigan seem keen on taking care of everything for me. Taking a breath, I shoulder my pack and make my way out of the door without looking back. I feel odd.

"We often are not given a choice on the path the world sets out for us. Though some may stray from the path most times they get lost. It would be wise for you to follow the road set out before you until you know you are ready to forge your own. Only fools fight the current when they are too weak to, the wise wait until they are strong enough." Lovely another cryptic message, just what I need.

Chuckling, I shake my head and move forward without a response. This is when I see Draco frolicking around, his large body surprisingly agile as he chases a butterfly. Raising my eyebrow, I let out a light chuckle. Truly he is adorable. Despite being a dragon and one that is fundamentally wrong in all aspects. He has wings, male Dragons should not have wings. Plus, is already the size of a drake and still growing, probably from the magic.

Once the dark grey dragon sees me, he bounds over swiftly, stopping Draco nuzzles me. Hot puffs of hair brushing my face. Sighing, I reach up and pat his nose. "Thank you, I will see you again too friend." I state while my soft pearl eyes meet his gold gaze. Sadness seems to linger in his gaze before his nuzzle brushes against my cheek. He makes an odd chirp like noise before pulling back. Honey eyes give me an imploring look, it's like he knows something that I don't. A soft breath leaves me and I bring my hand up and twirl a piece of hair in-between my fingers.

Wetting my lips, I give Draco one more look before turning from him. As I begin to make my way towards the forest, I swallow. Sentimentality is not one of my strong suits so the feeling of lead in my stomach throws me off a bit. A shuddering breath leaves and everything seems to hit me. Pausing in my steps, I glance around and once more see that I am somehow very far away from where I started. Flemeth, Mythal or whatever, the power she wields is a bit daunting. Chewing on my lip, I frown and bend slightly as I see something. "The ground…" murmuring these words I clench my teeth. The ground is starting to become corrupt.

The heavy feeling in my stomach stays with me for about an hour of walking. Finally, I stop myself and glance around. Once more I find myself near the ruins of Ostagar. Growling low in my throat, I crouch while pulling my pack off me, rummaging around I grab the map and unroll it. Pale eyes roam up and down the parchment _'I am close to the Brecilian Forest.'_ Thinking this I pause and blink _'Which means… What? I can prance around find the elves and warn them? They are well known to travel around and who knows if they are actually in that forest.'_ Huffing to myself I shake my head. "This is ridiculous. I am not a hero…" Murmuring, I stare angrily at the map and sigh while rolling it up. "Fuck me. Well…" Tucking it back into the bag, I turn and make my way to the forest.

The most I will do is walk through the forest to Denerim, get some food then cut through the land once more and make my way to the Circle Tower (no idea what I am going to do though.) My last trip will be Highever, and then catch a boat ride home. "I am going to regret this. I just know it."

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Three days in the forest and I can say that with the utmost honesty, I hate Ferelden! I cannot believe what this forest has, walking talking trees, I can deal with. The Grand Oak was a pleasant sort, to be honest, however the terrain is worse than in the Free Marches. I very nearly trip with every step, which is saying a lot as I was trained to be graceful by father and aware by Flemeth. The wolves are quite terrible too, luckily no werewolves as of yet, I count my lucky stars.

Huffing angrily, I grip the daggers I am holding while rolling my shoulder. I felt terrible as I had killed about three wolves not that long ago. Luck was on my side as they were scared of fire, I threw small fire balls at them, careful to _not_ set the forest on fire. Shaking my head, I mumble to myself as my leg and side twinge with pain. Some of the wolves got my leg and side. With Morrigan's healing balm she gave me I don't have to worry about infection. Trekking through the land, I feel my body tense and my eyes widen as an arrow whistles through the air and hits the ground just in front of me.

I don't move much but allow my gaze to swiftly take in my surroundings, this is when I see three people make their way out of the forest holding large bows. Each individual has an arrow notched and pointed at me. It doesn't take long to notice that they are elves _and_ Dalish by the armor they wear. "Lovely…" I hiss to myself before moving my hands and begin to attach my daggers to my legs "Do not move!" One of them speaks. My eyes narrow swiftly as I pause. "I am putting my weapons away." Stating this I twirl the blade in my right hand while raising a brow, though I doubt anyone could see, with my hood on.

"Why should we believe you?" The female of the group states with a sharp voice, her light blonde haired pulled into a tight bun. In response, I finish putting the daggers away and tilt my head "Why should I care whether you believe me?" My lips quirk as I can see each of the people seem to tense. My eyes take in each elf. Two are blonde with bright blue eyes well one has auburn hair, the male with dark hair slowly begins to lower his bow well he squints. "Andaran atish'an Dalen. Why are you so far from your clan?" Blinking quickly I see the two blondes both look confused at their companion. I bring my hand up and pull my cloak hood down.

The blonde's swiftly look at me and their eyes widen well the other seems to frown. I, however, nod a bit to the male who spoke. "I do not have a clan." As I state this I can see each person look at each other with varying degrees of concern. "You are alone?" The blonde male questions while he too lowers his bow. Pursing my lips, I glance away briefly. "For the moment. I am on my way home, though I wished to make a quick stop to speak with someone." As I say this I let my arms stay by my side almost lazily, but I am ready at any moment to grab my daggers.

"Who do you want to speak with Flat-Ear?" The female questions. Instantly my eyes narrow as I look at her, I can feel my lips pull into a scowl. Despite that I keep my voice as flat as I can. "Whomever is the Keeper of your clan." My eye brow raises and I cock my head to the side more. Once more each of them glance at each-other, this was becoming rather irritating. Though a strange elf child asking to see their leader, I suppose I can see their concern. Sighing loudly, I begin to chew on my lip but stop as the dark haired one speaks "Follow us." My eyes widen but I quickly do what they say.

I can see the blonde male looks rather anxious well the female seems frustrated. I quickly study them but something about them seems familiar. They both start to argue at the front while the dark-haired male slows down and walks next to me. "Ir abelas, their behavior… they are still young." I feel a smirk grow. "As am I." I could see the conflicting emotions on his face as he caught my slight teasing with that comment. I am far more _behaved_ than they are yet they are older than I. Finally, he settles with a blank look with a raised brow. "Indeed. I am called Junar from Clan Sabrae." He nods his head. I hum a bit confused at how friendly he is. "I'm called Arinda Tethras." A small smile shows on my face as I see the male become confused. "Arinda… that-," I chuckle. "Is not an elf name, no. I was raised by a dwarf. He found me abandoned in the woods." His brows furrow at my words. I remain silent as we continue walking.

After about fifteen minutes, I could make out noise, people talking and even some children laughing. It was odd, the few other Dalish clans I have met all gave off a cold feeling. They all treated me like the female did, like I am less than they are. Sure, I still felt the judging looks from these three but it wasn't as harsh. As we continue forward, I could see we start to walk on what seems like an actual path. Glancing around the woods, I can actually see a few people in trees, they seem to eye me briefly but look away. Licking my lips, I can feel my heart jump into my stomach as I am just now thinking that I may have done something really stupid. I am in an area surrounded by a bunch of armed elves, telling them about a possible future.

' _This was a terrible idea,'_ I think while my eyes momentarily widen. Even as my heart seems to pick up speed as I easily keep up a calm appearance. Squeezing my hands shut, I coolly look around the camp. I catch sight of some white deer looking creatures. "Halla…?" They look very different from the game. Here they look tall, strong, and powerful, compared to the meek look they gave off in the games. A huff of laughter comes from my companion. "You know of the Halla?" A quick glance at the male I can see an inquisitive look, looking back at the fair creatures I let my face slip a bit. I calmly access them, their strong muscles on their haunches and their necks. From this distance I can still see their eyes, the same as a Mabari. "No, I have heard of them. The _Dalish_ I have run into made sure to keep outsiders very far away from their camp." The word Dalish comes out a lot more hostile than I want but I can't stop it.

There is a pause and silence drags on. Walking into the actual camp is surprising, the aravel's are quite large and bright. The feel is a lot lighter and more comfortable, it is rather surprising. Looking up at the two blondes, I can see them speeding up and heading to a certain aravel. I can only guess that is where Keeper Marethari is. I can feel a tingle run through my body, it is as if old magic runs through the ground. Blinking I tilt my head but stop with my thought as Junar speaks up "You are not fond of your people?" His voice is soft.

Blinking rapidly, I stop with my walking and look up at the taller male "Our people? No. All the clans I have met so far has made it known I am not them nor will I ever be. Even that female called me a _Flat Ear_. I am not the same as you in your eyes, I lack something that you have. That is what you all think. I have felt far less welcomed by Dalish Elves than Humans have ever made me feel. Frankly I don't see the difference between Dalish and Humans, Flat Ear or Knife Ear, it makes no difference." An edge grows to my voice and I tense up. Anger runs through my veins, the blatant hypocrisy they have always has pissed me off. The tingle in my body picks up and I bite my lip, my magic tries to break free. I feel a crackle of electricity run through my hair, luckily I seem to cool down quickly before it becomes a big mess. "I don't understand… Every single person on this earth and land bleeds when cut, and they will all die eventually. No one is better than another… A beggar, king, human, qunari… We are the same." Shaking my head I stop with my speech, there is no point. I am not a prophet and certainly won't act like a pariah. Gnashing my teeth together, I raise a brow when I see the other two blondes waking towards us with an older woman with silver hair. Blinking I narrow my eyes at her, she nods to Junar. "Thank you" She starts before turning to the others "Tamlen, Navra, you both know you were supposed to be hunting." Despite her words, she shows a soft smile. "Why don't you three rest up while I speak with our guest?" Her words were certainly phrased as a question but I have a feeling they were anything but. "Yes Keeper!" They all answer before turning, the blonde female however shoots me one more glare.

"I apologize for Navra's behavior, she has much to learn." Her words pull my attention and I fully take in her "I am called Marethari, I am the Keeper of Clan Sabrae. You have come a long way to speak with me…" I can only guess she knows my accent, I certainly don't sound Fereldan, though I don't have the same Free Marches lilt to my voice either. "You have no idea. To be honest I don't even know why I have come here… I suppose to give a message." I'd rather get this over with as soon as I can. She clasps her hands together and waves me to follow her back to her tent like home. Wetting my lips, I glance around and let out a breath. "Of that I have no doubt. Asha'bellanar's word has traveled far, as have you, further than one would anticipate." I almost stumble at those words. 'Flemeth knew I was coming here?!' Once more my irritation flares.

Clenching my jaw, I bite my tongue to keep anything from slipping out. Sucking in a breath, I glance up at the elf's soft honey eyes. Despite her benign I know that this woman is not all knowing. She is far more _human_ than anyone would like to admit. "Keeper, I don't wish to interrupt but I was just informed by Tamlen and Navra that they seemed to have had a run on with humans. Apparently, they spoke of treasures hidden in a cave guarded by a monster. They decided to go look at it now." The air in my lungs whooshes out. _'You've got to be kidding me!'_ is my first thought before I almost start laughing. Junar looks troubled yet annoyed at the same time "I tried to stop them but you know how they are together."

Marethari lets out a sigh while closing her eyes "Yes, Thank you da'len." At her words I finally get my mind into some semblance of order and speak up. "That is what I wish to speak about. You need to stop them, they are in danger." At my words both elder elves look at me. "What do you speak of?" The woman snaps out quickly, she doesn't sound mean only alert. Chewing the side of my cheek, I let my mind mull over how I will broach the subject. There are too many variables and things that can go wrong, at the same time though those two are in grave danger. "A corrupted Eluvian is within the cave, if that mirror is touched they will die. The corruption will escape and the land will die faster than it already is." Best to be blunt in these situations. It is odd, at my firm words it is as if the whole camp heard, silence echoes around use.

"An Eluvian?" Junar turns his attention to Marethari. Her face is curious as she turns to look in a random direction "An Eluvian… They have not been seen in centuries. Many have tried to unlock their secret but many have failed. It is said that one can communicate with them, even at a long distance, such as across lands." I keep my mouth shut not wanting to correct what she has said, we have more pressing issues at hand. "If there is one fully whole that could mean many things." She continues. Swallowing I clear my throat "Yes that is all well and good but it is corrupt and will bring you nothing but death and destruction. It needs to be destroyed. Preferably without anyone touching it." Biting my lip, I feel my skin crawl, something is happening, I just know it. The woman pauses. "Worry not da'len, it may take time but I believe with the help of my First we could cleanse the Eluvian. You have brought us very important information, much has been lost of our people. If we get this piece back, we will be indebted to you." I feel my mouth go dry. I squint at her answer, all though leaves my head. She was so against Merrill cleansing the mirror, granted with blood magic but still. Why?

"You… Did you not hear me? It is corrupted, if you try to _fix_ it or go near it you will be tainted!" My voice rises out of sheer indignation. In that moment, I clamp my mouth shut as I feel like I am going to vomit. I can sense Falon'Din crawling and scratching at the back of my mind. _**"Pathetic mortals! All they care for is the past, running around scraping and begging to learn what is right in front of them."**_ His voice hisses echoing around my head. Straightening my posture, I let emotion fall from my expression and speak calmly. "The choice is yours _Keeper_ , the consequence's will rest on your shoulder. I am leaving." Turning on my heels, I feel how taut my back is, my steps are quick and a bit loud. Keeping my head down, I swiftly and shakily reach behind me and pull my pack off. I don't acknowledge the person who jogs to catch up, I focus on pulling the map out of my bag and open it up.

There is just too many stupid people, I cannot deal with this shit. I catch myself mumbling about this and snap my mouth shut. "We have lost so much, sometimes some of the consequences are worth the gain." I instantly turn to look at Junar, my nostrils flare and by the males flinch I must have a hell of a glare going on "You are naive. You may be willing to throw away your life or the lives of your clan members but I will never sacrifice mine or my families. I know what it is like to have nothing but knowledge. Sometimes… Sometimes that knowledge means nothing in the long run. I would rather stay with my father and my friends than be alone." My voice is a low growl yet even I can hear the raw emotion in it. "That _history_ is nothing, you aren't ready for it!" With that said I am moving again.

Unrolling the map, I let my eyes wander over to where I am, The Brecilian Forest, I didn't go that far into the forest so I know I am still close to the Southern Hills. I mostly stayed on the Brecilian Passage, up until the elves showed me to the camp. It may have been a mere half an hour but that can still get someone lost fairly good in a forest. Letting out a sound, I feel my hands tighten around the map, crinkling it around the edges. I am not entirely sure where I am, the trees are blocking out the sun. My arms droop slightly and I look up at the top of the tree's trying to see the sun. "Where are you trying to go?" My gaze flickers over and I sigh. "Denerim." Pulling the map back up, I glare angrily at the parchment. "I can take you back to the path you were on." At his words I roll the map up and breathe deeply a few times. I nod once and tilt my head for him to leave as I put the map away. "I must tell Keeper Marethari first." I scowl at the statement but cannot do much about it.

The male elf jogs off for about five minutes while I rummage around in my bag. I pulled out a few berries and start to nibble on them when he comes back. I raise a brow as he has a bow strapped to his back, he is rather smart, or maybe just the elf paranoia. I follow him as he begins walking, I can't really piece together why they need to know about their history so much. Sure knowing can help you but people rarely learn from the past, perhaps glory? Strength? I cannot even begin to guess, they have a future now but are squandering it on the past. They are missing so much, I cannot fault them. Not that long ago I focused mostly on what happened to me, still I got over it, focused on what I have now and the people around me.

Junar is staying silent, his face shows that he is thinking. I think it best if I keep to myself for now, I have said enough and done what I can. I remember someone wrote something similar to 'It is not thunder that makes flowers grow.' They will learn from their mistakes, if they survive them. Pearl eyes glance at the ground, the thought makes its way into my head again. _"I am not a hero."_ Breathing through my nose, I close my eyes for a second. _"But I am not a fool."_

"Are you a Somniari? A seer?" Perking up I turn my attention to the brunet. His words register and I show a smile. "I suppose I am." My voice is far lighter than before. Once more Junar looks down as he walks, this is when I notice a path not far off, it seems we were walking far longer than I originally thought. "If we come in contact with this mirror we _will_ die?" Really I will never understand people turning to a child, still I cannot say I am ungrateful. "Worse… You will slowly lose yourselves and become a husk." I turn my attention forward and walk towards the path. "Whether you believe me doesn't matter, the fact still remains." Junar doesn't follow "What corruption are you talking about?"

Tilting my head I look over my shoulder not fully turning my body. "You have been in this forest for a while. Can't you hear? Or feel it? It surrounds you, it is in the very earth you stand on." My voice carries. With that said I let my blank eyes look intensely at the other elf. I can see him pause before his eyes widen "It is silent…" I feel the smile grow as he mutters this. **"It is the Blight da'len, your people will perish if they do not leave now."** The words are twisted in my mouth, it is not I who speaks. I hate when Falon'Din does this. Swiftly I turn and make my way towards the path and leave the shocked male behind.


	21. Chapter 21

**VERY IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ OR REGRET!**

I must first apologize for not updating for as long as I have. I could bore you all with everything going on but that would useless. Another apology as I am going to rewrite everything!

My writing has changed over the course of (the long time I have not updated…) I also will be changing to Third person writing style. I have a few things I will be tweaking, taking out and or adding!

Now I am going to be making a poll about another story I want to start on. However I do not know which one I wish to start on! So I will leave that up to you all. Now I am going to delete this; but I will wait until I post the first chapter of the rewritten story up. I am sorry I just am not going to keep this up even if someone asks me to. I don't see the point.

Thank you for everyone who me has stayed and who is still going to stay despite what I have put you all through. I really appreciate everyone's support!


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